I’d love to have been a fly on the wall where Rubèn Galindo Jr., director of “Don’t Panic,” actually watched as someone from the wardrobe department went out, bought dinosaur pajamas in a man’s size, and decided to make it the primary outfit for his film’s protagonist. Dinosaur pajamas with red and blue dinosaurs that you’d find on a seven year old unironically became the motif for the central hero of a horror movie. And that’s not all that “Don’t Panic” has in store for its audience. Rubèn Galindo Jr.’s “Don’t Panic” is a mélange of plot devices that rip wholesale from the likes of Wes Craven, and Sam Raimi.
Tag Archives: Slasher
Welcome to My Nightmare: “Freddy vs. Jason” 20 Years Later
One of the most interesting experiences of my life in a movie theater happened during “Freddy vs. Jason.” It was interesting in that it showed how strong my colon could be.
Stick with me.
I, like every other horror geek in America, during the beginning of the internet, were anxiously following every update of “Freddy vs. Jason” and its glacial development. The movie had been in development for over a few decades, and the anticipation only became even more feverish with the cameo of Freddy Krueger in the end of “Jason Goes to Hell.” For what I’m assuming was meant to be a little elbow nudge to the fans, transformed in to an even more heated demand for Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees to meet on the big screen.
Satan’s Little Helper (2004)
For reasons I could never quite put my finger on, “Satan’s Little Helper” has always evaded me. Since its release in 2004, I’ve never been able to find time to sit down and watch it, but since its initial release, it’s manage to garner a pretty respectable cult following. “Satan’s Little Helper” is certainly one of the most batshit insane Halloween horror movies I’ve ever seen, which is something that works for and against Jeff Lieberman’s horror comedy. It’s weird, and darkly comic, and over the top, and injects uncomfortable overtones of incest, and pedophilia, to boot. There were genuine moments that made me squirm, and it works to the detriment of the movie itself.
The Barn Part II (2022)
If Justin M. Seaman’s “The Barn” was “Ghoulies,” then “The Barn Part II” is the “Ghoulies II” of his horror movie series. His Halloween centric horror movie series has managed to deliver in surprises and good old fashioned vintage scares and I’ve enjoyed a lot of the mythos that Seaman and co. have created. “The Bart Part II” is superior to the first film in every way, as while the original is a very good small scale Halloween movie, this follow up doubles up on every aspect. There’s double the gore, double the body count, double the T&A and even larger scale monsters.
Benny Loves You (2019)
If you invest in a ride that’s more about senseless gore and grue with a killer doll on a rampage that feels like a long, internet comedy skit, Karl Holt’s “Benny Loves You” might just satisfy your appetite. I’m not one that ever really turns down a movie about killer dolls or puppets, so “Benny Loves You” kept my attention most times. It’s weird, and bizarre, and gloriously deadpan. Plus, Benny is such an interesting and menacing monster, that I bought his ability to inflict sheer chaos on anything with a pulse.
Scare Package II: Rad Chad’s Revenge (2022)
It’s not exactly a secret that I just didn’t think much of Aaron Koontz’s 2019 horror comedy anthology “Scare Package.” Despite its best intentions and love for the genre, as a horror anthology I just wanted something new and just more. The horror anthology is a difficult platform for a lot of filmmakers, and “Scare Package II” doesn’t re-invent the wheel at any turn. As a horror comedy that spoofs “Saw” (and a slew of other horror movies) wholesale, it’s a solid film. As an anthology, the wrap around narrative does little to compliment the four mixed bag horror segments.
Ranking “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” Movies from Best to Worst
“Who Will Survive and What Will be Left of Them?”
It’s been an interesting year for “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” fans as the movie series has finally been adapted in to what is, by all accounts, a popular survival video game. It’s also incidentally the twenty year anniversary of the shockingly popular Marcus Nispel remake, which continues to win new fans. With that said, I gave my personal ranking to all of the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” films in the series. As always feel free to offer your own rankings or rebuttals the comments.