For shame, it’s finally come down to this. It’s time to admit Harrison Ford’s prowess as an action star has past. How he plans the ever continuous shoot of “Indiana Jones 4” I’ll never know. “Firewall” is a healthy indicator that Ford just can’t handle it anymore. And it’s a pretty good indicator that Ford also hasn’t made a watchable film in a good while. The worst aspect of “Firewall” is that we’ve seen this a thousand times. And a thousand more times. There’s your poor workaday shlub taken hostage in his own home. And the checklist: Family disharmony, check! Spunky oldest daughter, check! Wise doting wife, check! Wide eyed youngest child who plays a big role in the climax, check!
Author Archives: Felix Vasquez
The Invincible Iron Man (2007)
You have to give it to Marvel Comics. While DC refuses to allow certain freedoms to separate properties of their characters for fear of “confusing fans” and undermining our intelligence, Marvel Comics openly allows their characters to be portrayed in different mediums. Even with a big budget film adaptation in the works, with Robert Downey Jr. starring, and John Favreau directing, they still allow this animated adaptation to be released to fans. Because, we can tell the difference. We just can. We’re not as dumb as WB and DC perceives us to be. One of the better improvements upon the Iron man animated film is that it bears no real connection to the previous “Ultimate Avengers” series of films. Meanwhile, the story of Tony Stark and Rhodey is played with a level of espionage and suspense of your typical spy film, shying away from any sort of camp. Here Stark is hardly ever referred to as Iron Man, and the character is more of a presence, and less a superhero.
Sidekick (2005)
I’ve been a comic book fan since I was a very small kid. Before I could read they were great to look at, and I’d have someone tell me their names, when I learned to read they were fun to dive into, even if I didn’t always understand the stories. When I became older, they were fun to read because the stories were so damn good depending on what comic you read, and when I became a man, I learned subtext, commentary, and undertones for the better, and I sought out deeper material. Either way, comic book fandom is a hobby that evolves over time, and de Graaf has the right idea of the love for comic books. There have been many an homage to the Superhero genre, but “Sidekick” is a completely different one altogether.
Alexander Revisited: The Final Cut (DVD)
“Why a third version of Alexander? The best answer I can manage is, I couldn’t get it out of my system. It’s a film that’s been haunting me since the theatrical version first appeared in November 2004 in the U.S., followed by a Director’s Cut on DVD in July 2005.” – Oliver Stone
Jesus Christ, Mr. Stone, why? Why can’t you just leave that gaping wound alone? Why can’t you just let it heal? Why can’t you just leave well enough alone and accept that you made a really bad movie? You made a bad movie! There was no homophobic conspiracy, no boycott against you. You made a neo-“Caligula,” a film that takes itself so seriously it can’t even realize it has a huge “Kick My Pompous Ass” sign on its back. While we chortle in the distance, you’re still hung up on this figment that we just can’t accept a film about a hero who is bisexual. So, you grace us with three cuts of the same crappy film. Stone, know when to stop breathing air in the infectious cavity. You win some, and you lose some. You lost big with “Alexander” and you only help increase the sentiment with this “final” cut. You’re off your game, face it. And worst of all, Stone wants to cater to his audiences rather than accept defeat. There was the original cut (175 min.), then the trimmed down cut which increased the action and pulled back on the homosexual overtones (167 min.), and now there’s this “Final Cut.”
The Dark Ages
It’s hard to look at “The Dark Ages” without noting the sheer sense of irony engrained within the documentary. It was a time of sheer ignorance and disease, a time where the poor were drawn into war, where wars of faith were fought for years, while tyrannical rulers fought wars based on their faith. It was a time of great violence and poverty… and that’s just been in the last seven years. I had to take that joke, because it’s just too true to deny. “The Dark Ages” is a fascinating documentary chronicling the dark ages. It was a time where slaves revolted against their masters, and the Roman Empire fell to the grasp of warriors who began to dominate the land with bloodshed.
King of Cars: Season Two
Gearheads will utterly adore what surprises “King of Cars” holds in its grandiose arena of selling cars to unlikely buyers. In the two episodes viewed, the king of cars holds a bid on potential buyer, hosting a big war in a selling room trying to hook in potential buyers pumped up hip hop soundtrack and all. You have to appreciate the showmanship behind “King of Cars” turning a car dealership into somewhat of a spectacle. Fans of the series will find this doesn’t stray from what made the first season such an entertaining watch and it’s an interesting series.
The New World (2005)
The story of Pocahontas just isn’t interesting. There’s nothing about this pseudo-historical tale about a young woman who became civilized that attracts it to me. With “The New World,” there’s no new angle presented to the audience, no new exploration of other characters, and the soapy drippy romance is still present and accounted for. “The New World” just didn’t live up to the hype that preceded it, and that’s because Malick anxiously looks for a new method of telling this yarn and pretty much never achieves his goals in that respect from the get go.