So by the logic present here, if you take a picture with a huge star, you will, in effect, become one yourself. Wondering what the hell this movie is? You’re not alone. It’s not a big coincidence “Undiscovered” has been undiscovered by almost every movie goer in America. It’s a piece of crap. Pure and simple. I mean, can you really expect quality from a film that’s relied on a steady campaign of “It stars Ashlee Simpson” to get the word out about the production? Yes, “Undiscovered” is a horrible movie, and for many reasons. But one of the reasons is that it’s so utterly insulting, even as a fairytale of stardom.
Author Archives: Felix Vasquez
Stan Lee Presents: The Condor (2007)
What Stan Lee has basically done here is create his very own Spider-Man. With the Condor, we have a basically privileged young man whose life is really in need of a boost. When his parents die, he is rendered basically crippled after being attacked, and becomes a superhero. One that talks the villains to death to piss them off. The Condor is basically the equivalent of the Spider-Man rogue Rocket Racer with a mixture of that lame superhero from the nineties: MANTIS.
The Grudge 2 (2006)
The curse gathers in the next place of death, says the opening subtitles. You just have to love how such a nice house is considered a place of death. Give me a nice house with a ghost over my current apartment any day of the week. Now that’s a horror movie. While “Ju-On” was a pleasant horror flick, I am one of many who thought “The Grudge” was simply a horrible movie. Void of any atmosphere, and completely missing the point of the original, turning Kayako into a run of the mill monster, as opposed to her actual purpose in the original. Well, here’s the sequel, and it’s actually no different. It’s repetitive, it feels like three hours, and there’s really no character you can root for.
Prison-A-Go-Go! (2003)
I have no aversion to women in prison movies. No, sir, I do not. I happen to enjoy good schlock when it’s done well, and I happen to enjoy flicks like “Cellblock Sisters.” When I caught wind of “Prison A-Go-Go!”, I was utterly intrigued. It’s not often you get a movie that’s intended to be schlock these days. Some directors just make bad movies and pretend its schlock, and many attempt schlock but fail miserably. “Prison A-Go-Go!” gets it right most of the time. “
Brick (2005)
Like much of the neo-noir that has graced our screens both in a contemporary, and period setting, “Brick” begins at the end. As we’ve seen in the device exemplified in “Sunset Boulevard,” we begin right at the tail end of the mystery. Where is Brendan’s ex-girlfriend Emily (Emile DeRavin is both unlikable, and heartbreaking)? What I can tell you is that most audiences for this film won’t even realize that Johnson is paying homage to some of the greatest noir films ever made. From outright nods to Humphrey Bogart, and films like “The Maltese Falcon,” there are many elements with the same basic premise. Johnson never fills his audience in, but they’re watching noir set in modern times.
Stan Lee Presents Mosaic (2006)
“Mosaic” lured me because, well, anything these days that doesn’t look like quasi-anime made just gets a pass with me, and “Mosaic” gets a pass for looking like honest to goodness animation. “Mosaic” is made up to look like a moving comic book. Wherein the recent Marvel cheap-o cash-ins, “Mosaic,” from Stan Lee’s Company “Pow” entertainment, seeks to be unique, while also possessing the same novelty of a comic, fonts and all. But don’t let the animation fool you, it’s not something I’d suggest for anyone under fifteen, basically because watching the villain break a guard’s neck, was something that drew a furrow of the brow. But hey, the writing by Scott Lobdell paired with Anna Paquin’s name really drew me to this fantasy actioner, I must say.
Aquamarine (2006)
It’s hard to really deny that Jojo and Emma Roberts have an interesting chemistry. Had the writers chosen to make “Aquamarine” a down to Earth glimpse at friendship with a mermaid, and turned away from the sickening fluff, there could have been something very emotional and clutching. But in the end, it’s really just a typical on-screen friendship. The girls are bubbly, and boring, and Roberts is your typical geeky character, etc. There’s one interesting sequence in which the two argue and bring about issues that are never confronted in the film. And I sat there wondering why the hell this was never brought up with a lengthier and complex scope. For a film that claims to be about friendship, it’s sad we didn’t see more of the depth available with the two main characters here. Jojo and Roberts’ chemistry is charming to watch, and I didn’t despise watching them yammer back and forth. Meanwhile, I could have done with more scenes featuring Arielle Kebbel as the obligatory bitchy character because… well, Kebbel is gorgeous. Need I say more?