Shocker (1989)

Posted on October 21, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Wes Craven creates Freddy Krueger. Again. This time rather than invading the meta-reality of dreams, maniac Horace Pinker can travel through televisions. That said, “Shocker” is basically like “Nightmare.” There’s a maniac, a main character linked to him through dreams, a secret that the main character’s neglectful parent is hiding, a major supporting character that dies thanks to the maniac that allows the main character to face off against the maniac, and a final showdown where the main character turns the tables on the maniac.

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Labyrinth (1986)

Posted on October 20, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Director Jim Henson’s “Labyrinth” is one of the many epic fantasy films of the eighties indirectly influenced by George Lucas’ “Star Wars,” and while it never aspires to be anything more than a standalone tale, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t possess epic potential from beginning to end. Director Henson unfolds a very unique and entertaining tale of a young girl who learns how to grow as a person through a menacing adventure through a massive labyrinth. Much in the realm of “Alice in Wonderland,” or “Wizard of Oz,” young Sarah finds herself confronting many monsters and menaces, and becomes a hero in the end.

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Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)

Posted on October 20, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

It’s pretty sad that at the end of the day, director Sam Raimi had to waste his talents on what is basically a regurgitation of the classic “Wizard of Oz” 1939 film adaptation. He doesn’t even get to think outside the box and offer up his own vision of Oz. Basically, “Oz the Great and Powerful” is yet another version of the movie, but in the view of the all powerful Wizard. The Wizard of Oz is one of cinema’s great macguffins, a big goal the characters work for in the 1939 movie, that they find out was nothing but smoke and mirrors.

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The Children (2008)

Posted on October 18, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

As much as I wanted to love Thomas Shankland’s horror film “The Children,” it’s yet another genre entry that’s all build and no bang. In fact the first hour of the whole film is nothing but build-up and off screen chaos, and there’s almost no pay off to anything that occurs. Whenever Shankland has a chance to blast the audience with carnage and havoc, it’s all so abruptly ended. You assume a movie about a mysterious chemical that turns children in to rotten maniacs merciless in their pursuit to murder adults would be straight forward and frantic. In reality it’s very slow, and there’s nothing straight forward about anything here.

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Disturbing Behavior (1998)

Posted on October 18, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Director David Nutter and writer Scott Rosenberg take a page from Ira Levin’s “The Stepford Wives” to offer nineties kids a modern take on the author’s novel. Who am I kidding? The pair rip chapters from author Levin and basically just retro-fit it for a modern audience, when all is said and done. “Disturbing Behavior” is basically “The Stepford Wives” except replacing the commentary on conservative men adjusting to the rising tide of feminism, we’re given a town of parents so unwilling to work on their kids they’d much rather just operate on them to make them in to model citizens.

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Pinocchio’s Revenge (1996)

Posted on October 18, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

With “Pinocchio’s Revenge,” it feels as if Director and Writer Kevin Tenney concocted an entire script based on a serial killer whose spirit inhabits his beloved Pinocchio doll and begins wreaking havoc on a hot mom and her daughter. And then mid-way he thought that perhaps it’d skirt legal issues, and then he suddenly transformed it in to a dull whodunit dramatic thriller. That’s the only way I can figure the logic for the title, at all. There’s no actual revenge, and in the end there’s not a lot of reasoning for Pinocchio to commit these crimes. But at least there’s still the hot mom.

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Scary Movie 5 (2013)

Posted on October 17, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

As usual, the way to conduct spoofs and satires these days is to base them around familiar material and deliver reliable jokes that anyone could really write. Most comedy is based around the formula and the “Scary Movie” series has made money off of familiarity. “Paranormal Activity” is popular, so that’s up for grabs. Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan are headlines so they have to be included. Snoop Dogg is still notable, so why not throw him in there? Ashley Tisdale is still a very popular star, so she’s a natural replacement for Anna Faris. And hey, people still kind of, sort of remember “Black Swan” and “Inception” so why not throw those in there for filler?

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