Category Archives: Movie Reviews

The Devil Inside (2012)

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404Tell me if this exchange sounds idiotic to you:
“I think I might have AIDS someday, doctor.”
“We may never know. I know one solution.”
“What is that?”
“Let’s give you AIDS and see if you have it.”
“I’m in!”

So if a girl is afraid she may be possessed one day like her mother, why on Earth do you bring her along on a dangerous possession ritual that may take the lives of all involved? What does that even prove? “But Felix, we wouldn’t have a movie if she didn’t go along.” Then why even call this a found footage film? Why not just stage it as a feature film?

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Hansel & Gretel (2013)

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123123123The rationale behind the villain Lilith in “Hansel and Gretel” makes no sense. She traps Hansel and Gretel in a bear trap and lures them to her house, she feeds Hansel a meat pie, and traps him in her basement to make him in to her pie, and then asks Gretel to take control of the shop and run it for her, in spite of the fact she’s about to turn her brother in to a meat pastry. She then gets angry when Gretel refuses? Turning her relative in to food is not exactly incentive for her to stay and help you in the shop. And did she continue to intend turning kids in to meat pies if Gretel took hold of the shop?

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The Perks of Being a Wallflower (2012) [Blu-Ray/Digital/Ultraviolet]

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Curiously enough I spent most of 2012 ignoring the release of Stephen Chbosky’s “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.” Granted, the trailers for it were interesting, but they never actually sold me to the film’s potential. When I finally sat down to watch “Perks,” I was shocked to discover that the film was not only a modern masterpiece, but a completely unorthodox teen dramedy that treats its character not as niches for marketing merchandise, but as actual human beings.

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Fun Size (2012) [Blu-Ray]

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OcVAplgCharming and gorgeous Nickelodeon Pop starlet continues her gradual foray in to the movies with her Nickelodeon fueled “Fun Size.” Set during Halloween night, Victoria Justice heads up a charming and often raucous comedy with the equally charming and gorgeous Jane Levy in one of the classic Hollywood formula comedies: The It All Happened One Night film. Set in the vein of a real time during one fun night of Halloween, big sister Wren, as played by Justice is tasked with taking her little brother Albert out for a night of trick or treating. Wren, just getting over the death of her dad, has to deal with her mom’s dating habits, while longing for her upcoming trek to college. Younger brother Albert is a rambunctious and unpredictable young boy who begrudgingly goes out with Wren and her flirtatious best friend April.

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The Hourglass Figure (2012)

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hourglassIn terms of plot, “The Hourglass Figure” really isn’t anything I haven’t seen before. It feels like a re-iteration of the Twilight Zone story “A Special Kind of Stopwatch” later remade in the eighties with a domestic twist called “A Little Peace and Quiet.” The premises are basically the same in tone and emotion. A busy and over worked house wife finds that she can get the quick fix to peace, quiet, and rejuvenation with a supernatural time stopping device.

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Movie 43 (2013)

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Maybe they were right after all. Maybe in order to be successful in Hollywood you have to sell your soul. Maybe the entire cast of “Movie 43” made a deal with Lucifer trading success for their souls. And then one day Lucifer had a great idea for a comedy movie. And then rather than doom every one of these stars to eternal damnation being raped and tortured by demons for all of time, he collected on their souls by making them star in his idea for his comedy movie entitled “Movie 43.” He sent them his script idea and they could really do nothing but agree to star in this movie collectively, rather than rebel against their dark lord and master that granted them the price of being household names. That has to be the explanation for “Movie 43.” Damn, that just has to be. The notion that the stars of “Movie 43” thought this could have been a good comedy at all is unfathomable and incredibly mind-blowing.

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The Aggression Scale (2012)

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Director Steven C. Miller is quickly becoming one of my favorite genre directors of late. Premiering with the solid zombie film “Automaton Transfusion,” his films seem to have a grit and guerilla style that often add a sense of urgency. His treatment of “Silent Night” skirted the edges of camp and slasher, while his latest “The Aggression Scale” is a definite step up. Though the film can sometimes show its low budget, director Miller makes great use of marvelous editing along with limited scenery to create an intense and absolutely excellent home invasion thriller.

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