Cloverfield (2008)

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We live in an age where we’re always watching someone. Cameras watch us, guards watch the cameras, surveillance videos keep an eye on potential criminals, we watch people on web cams, we pay to watch women undress for us, we peer into celebrities’ lives through tabloids and candid cameras, we watch reality shows built around surveillance cameras and hidden video, and we’re constantly being watched by our government who keep us monitored and at close range, so it was only natural that horror movies would grow to reflect that. “Cloverfield” is one in the “Blair Witch” formula that doesn’t try to give us a film, but more purports to give us actual home videos through the eyes of average upper class New Yorkers and keep us watching through a camera lens. Through this camera, we are the voyeurs.

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Our Favorite Big Bads!

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What do we mean by our favorite big bads? Don’t be fooled, we’re not listing our all time favorite Kaijus, because we’re not big kaiju fans. What we are fans of are giant monsters, monsters that stomp, monsters that destroy, and monsters with a point and purpose. Since “Cloverfield” is going to be stomping into theaters January 18th with incredible anticipation and mystery, we thought ringing in the anticipated film with a list of our all time favorite giant monsters would be a kick.

So we sifted through our library of movies, we googled a lot of giant monsters and we went through some of our favorites. In the end, even though we liked Gamera, and Mothra, and Mechagodzilla, and even though we passed on some like Voltron, and the beast from The Relic, we couldn’t help but feel a giant affection for these monstrous furious baddies who took a small city and made it their bitch. Some of these are commentaries on nuclear war, some of these are commentary on space travel and disrupting our oceanic settings, and some of these are just plain old mean and angry beasts who take joy from eating helpless citizens and hapless police officers.

“Cloverfield” and a mysterious giant monster wreaks pure bloody havoc on New York City soon, and we thought that it was the right time to invite some contemporaries over in hopes that JJ Abrams’ monster ends up as horrifying as these fine individuals. Lock up your children, call the army, and ready your tanks, these baddies are on the prowl!

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Repo! The Genetic Opera (2008)

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repoIn the end I felt nothing watching “Repo!” Did I hate it? No. Did I loved it? Sometimes, only sometimes and this thanks to the performances by the cast of little known or breakthrough performers who help to tell the story of a society where kidneys are a business and one boss Ritto wants to flourish. This is an age where musicals are now the basic norm and have been raking in the bucks. It’s just sad that a musical that pitches to every audience, we horror fans aren’t included. There are even thick operatic tones thanks to the dulcet tones of Paul Sorvino; it’s a grab bag for the whole lot.

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White Noise 2: The Light (2007) (DVD)

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white-noise-2-the-lightI always say that if you’re going to derive from another better and well established concept, you’d better sure as hell do it well. Or do it to the point well it feels unique. The sequel to “White Noise” is a bonafide take on my favorite “Twilight Zone” episode of all time, “The Purple Testament.” Except this time it’s updated to a man who has a Near Death Experience after attempting suicide. When he returns from the dead, he can see white auras around people who are about to die. As well he can also hear EVP’s, and see transmissions of the dead on televisions, and he’s really about to experience something he never thought was possible. “White Noise 2” is by all accounts a superior film to the original, and that’s odd considering the original had so much potential, while this sequel had the odds stacked against it.

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Anita: Swedish Nymphet (1973)

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When you get right down to it, sure, “Anita” is sexploitation, and sure in many occasions it can be pure smut, but, and this is a giant but: “Anita” can also be quite entertaining. Very much in the vein of films like “Black Snake Moan,” Wickman’s drama porn is not just a display for Christina Lindberg and her gorgeous physique, it’s an interesting study in the habits of nymphomaniacs, and the misery that can arise from sex and sexual acts when it’s made out of sheer impulse and not pleasure. Sixteen year old Anita is a girl with so much psychosis that she’s hopelessly addicted to sex and really has no grasp on restraint or discretion when it comes to getting what she wants.

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Cinema Crazed's Worst 10 of 2007

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10. Blood & Chocolate
It’s a shame that the movies with the most interesting concepts always end up sucking the most. I looked forward to “Skinwalkers” and from the looks of it, it was a failure, and the same goes for “Blood & Chocolate” a film that is just nothing more than spin off of Anne Rice’s shtick turning werewolves into cheesy Goths who battle over women and hunt people in the woods for no real apparent reason. And like a bad Saturday morning cartoon they transform by the light of a rainbow and all of their clothes and jewelry also transforms with them. There’s also the director’s attempts to mimick Parkour by having his characters running and bouncing off of walls with their feet for no reasons at all. For all intents and purposes Agnes Bruckner is still a fox, but this movie is more of her wasted potential.

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Our Top 10 Porn Stars (NSFW)

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What we define as porn is a debate and discussion that can go in circles for literal hours. What’s the norm to you may be graphic to another person, what may be utterly perverse to you may not be so bad to me, thus the position of porn in our society is a constant hot topic. What is porn? What do we define as porn? Is “Basic Instinct” porn? Is “Debbie Does Dallas” porn? Sure enough, I make no real secret of my involvement with X-Critic and how I review porn titles. I think sex should be discussed openly allowing an open forum for people to express themselves and gain a better awareness of their individuality. Puritanical society and conservative America has done everything in their power to shut down the Porn Industry and bring it to a grinding halt while also attempting to suck it dry “for the sake of the economy,” but all efforts have failed and pornography remains a multi-billion dollar industry that poses no clear threat to society.

I’m always open in admitting that I love porn and I love the business that is pornography. It’s a multi-faceted, and constantly morphing medium that’s always straight forward about the taboos it touches on. And like every fan of pornography, I love the stars of it. Over the years I’ve managed to grab a list of my favorite porn stars of all time. While the research was fun, the primary point of this list is to celebrate porn and reveal a part of this website that appreciates film whether it’s a drama, comedy, or pornography.
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