And in the distance, as the movie came to a close in an ending that ripped off the remains of “Evil Dead” so badly I gazed in wide eyed horror, a woman could be heard–laughing aloud. Is this ever a good sign to a good movie? No way, and that was a surefire indicator Uwe Boll had done it yet again, he’d made a movie that rivaled the sheer horror that was “House of the Dead,” a movie that will forever live in infamy as one of the worst horror movies ever made. Suffice it to say, if I made a drama or horror and spawned even the slightest of laughter, I’d duck out of the theater and hide in a cave. Too bad Boll didn’t do it.
It’s almost like watching teenagers act out “The Deep” on a student theater stage somewhere, because in the end, “Kraken” is basically just that. It’s a very low rent and C grade variation of “The Deep,” minus the compelling story, and wonderful characterization. And oh yes, there’s the small case of the acting and lack thereof. This low rent thief stars two people whom will garner two reactions from you. One will be “Who?” while the other will be “O-h-h-h-h-h… who?” Victoria Pratt, or as I call her “The hot chick from the crappy X-men show,” stars in “Kraken” as a marine biologist looking for an underwater treasure. Stop me, if you’ve heard this one.