Despite the slick and grim tone of “Deuce’s Wild,” Scott Kalvert’s attempt at a gangster picture is the worst film of 2002. And it’s likely one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. We get a nonsensical, clichéd movie with a contrived plot and go-nowhere characters, all of whom are nothing but comical walking clichés with writers Paul Kimatian, and Christopher Gambale showing zero restraint in predictability. How do you waste such a dynamic cast on such a putrid waste of film?
Admittedly, I was scared a little when I saw Dean Devlin’s name in the credits, but his influence seems surprisingly restrained and minimized only to special effects. “Eight Legged Freaks” is a loving and raucous homage to the fifties giant features and a rather great one at that. Rather than try to depict a stern narrative about a spider invasion, director Ellory Elkayem embraces the silliness and instead provides a pulpy monster movie with vicious violence, and some damn good dark comedy.
What happened to you, Cuba? The Oscar Academy should ask for their Oscar back. Cuba Gooding tries his hardest at physical comedy and shtick, but fails miserably. He often gives these off-key and ridiculous facial expressions, often looking like a fool. When he tries to be sincere, he also comes off as an idiot. The scenery looks so artificial, despite the fact it takes place in Alaska. Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Macguire, Boat Trip) plays Ted Jones a famous Miami dentist who enjoys his commercial wealth and success.
I went into this movie with generally low expectations, I mean with a movie that was shelved constantly for nearly four years and re-shot numerously, I had no doubt this would be a flop. Those expectations seemingly helped this movie, because I was pleasantly surprised. Probably the most intriguing part of the movie is Barry Pepper’s character that wants badly to be one of the guys in the mob but can’t find the strength to pull a trigger. He pulls the Brooklyn accent off well, and never goes over the top. He’s a regular guy who wants to work like everyone else but can’t quite get past the name. He tough and intimidating and very likeable as well. Seth Green is his usual self but is likeable all at the same time; he’s annoying and irritating but he serves his purpose as the character.
Artist: Includes tracks from various artists including: The big man: Rob Zombie, The Ramones, Buck Owens, and great spooky sound bites from the movie.
Tracks: 1. Howdy Folks 2. House of 1,000 corpses- Rob Zombie 3. Saddle up the Mule 4. Everybody Scream- Rob Zombie 5. Stuck in the mud 6. Holey Miss Moley 7. Who’s gonna mow your grass? – Buck Owens 8. Run, Rabbit, Run- Rob Zombie 9. Into the Pit 10. Something for your men 11. I wanna be loved by you- Helen Kane 12. Pussy Liquor- Rob Zombie 13. Scarecrow Attack 14. My Baby Boy 15. Now I wanna sniff some glue- Ramones 16. Investigation and the smoke house 17. The Bigger the Cushion 18. I Remember You- Slim Whitman 19. Drive out the rabbit 20. Mary’s Escape 21. Little Piggy- Rob Zombie 22. Ain’t the only thing tasty 23. Dr. Satan 24. Brick House 2003- Rob Zombie featuring Lionel Richie and Trina 25. To the house
Arnold Schwarzenegger plays firefighter Gordon Brewer, a family man who witnesses his wife and son get murdered in a terrorist bombing. When he sees a Colombian ambassador refer to their deaths as “Collateral Damage”, a term meaning that their death is all part of war, he get angered and vows revenge on the mercenary who committed the crime. With the help of his wits alone, he travels to Colombia to track down and kill the terrorist crime lord known as “El Lobo”. Arnold Schwarzenegger does his best with what he’s given with in this movie and doesn’t overact his part like in his frequent movies. He’s a likeable character in this movie, and for once is a relatable character.
I enjoyed the whole depth behind this movie. This is a family who aren’t very close to begin with, and each character is completely opposite to the next one. Kate Hudson is enjoyable as the flirtatious man-eater. Her plot was probably the best one as she manages to fall head over heels for this snake. Frances O’connor gives a radiant performance as the meakish bookworm of the family who also becomes interested in Adam and gets involved in a lurid affair with him. Adam is also a very interesting character; I think Adam is more of a symbol in this movie than an actual character. He is the quintessential man that each of these people picture and often he gives them what they want or desire through intricate planning. We never truly learn anything about him and whenever he does talk about his past, his stories are altered for the people he’s with simply to charm them and win them over through pity and sentiment.