Tag Archives: Action

Hysterics of the Dead in 2003 with Uwe Boll

Posted on by

Streaming on Amazon Prime Video.

If you’re an avid movie goer and movie lover, most of the time you can tell when a movie is going to stink five minute in to it. Sometimes it’s from the first moment, but sometimes it takes at least five minutes. When I trekked to Manhattan to see “House of the Dead” a week before Halloween, it hit like a gut punch within the opening credits that I was not going to see the next zombie movie masterpiece. Granted, this was 2003, and I hadn’t heard of Uwe Boll. Hell, I barely had any knowledge of what “House of the Dead” was as a whole. I just know that the ads for it on MTV looked pretty damn cool.

I was at a weird mind set in 2003. I’d just come out from open heart surgery in July, and I’d spent the entire summer suffering, especially after the historic black out that took out power from most of America for twenty four hours.

Continue reading →

Headless Horseman (2022)

Posted on by

Take two cups of “Ghost Rider,” one cup of “Spawn,” a dash of “The Crow,” mix it up with only a fraction of the budget, and you have Jose Prendes’ “Headless Horseman.” The Asylum’s newest mockbuster watches like an off brand comic book movie from the late nineties. It feels like something from a studio that couldn’t afford Marvel’s “Ghost Rider,” so they opted for a character from an obscure indie label. If it seems like I’m just mocking “Headless Horseman,” I’m truly not. I was surprised at how much I didn’t hate it, as while the movie borrows from the aforementioned series’ wholesale, it amounts to some cheesy, charming fun.

Continue reading →

The Spine of Night (2021)

Posted on by

What I loved about “The Spine of Night” is that directors Philip Gelatt, and Morgan Galen King don’t shy away from the fact that their movie is meant to be a modern “Heavy Metal.” It’s an unabashed celebration of Ralph Bakshi, Frank Frazetta, steam punk, and heavy metal right down to the rotoscoping animation that is used to bring the film’s vision to life. The animation is right on par with what you’d expect from the master Ralph Bakshi but I was happy that the pair of directors who write the film kept true to the story that they were telling through the very end.

Continue reading →

Expend4bles (2023)

Posted on by

Sylvester Stallone’s “The Expendables” was a fun novelty. In 2010. It took all of the big action stars from the eighties, striking the pleasure spots of Gen Xers and got by on its gimmick–for a while. It began life as “The giants of action cinema! All here! All kicking ass!” right down to “Well, here are people that have been in a few action movies.” With the series only four movies in, “The Expendables” has cashed in all of its nostalgia points. It’s now ironically transformed from a loving eighties homage to the one of the numerous clumsy, stale, action vehicles that many eighties action stars resorted to headlining in the late nineties and early aughts. 

Continue reading →

Bad Movie Monday: The Gauntlet (1977)

Posted on by

I was debating which movie to review this week. Normally, I always have a few titles floating merrily in the back of my mind. However, more often than not, I don’t write anything about them because they just don’t speak to me. They don’t stand out. A movie really needs to go that extra mile, and either be a lot better or a lot worse than I expected, in order to elicit a passionate need to discuss it in me. So I was in a bit of a pickle. I just couldn’t think of anything really worthwhile to review. Then, last week, my friend brought Clint Eastwood’s 1977 Cop Thriller THE GAUNTLET to Bad Movie Monday and I knew as soon as the end credits started rolling that this was the movie I was going to write about. Good God Almighty.

Continue reading →

Bad Movie Monday: Winterbeast (1992)

Posted on by

My favourite kind of bad movie is the kind that has such crazy twists and turns, and is so borderline incomprehensible, that it makes me go “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” when the end credits roll. The kind of movie whose editing seems to have been done by a drug addicted colour blind monkey with ADHD and two left hands. The kind of movie that doesn’t dwell too long on little minute details like acting or writing, or having scenes be in order. The kind of movie that feels like it was made by aliens trying to imitate human emotions, badly. So, with this in mind, today’s review is for a movie that embodies everything I love. WINTERBEAST is one of the more bonkers Bad Movie Monday entries that I’ve torture… I mean, entertained my friends with in a long time.

Continue reading →