From the man who gave us such rousing successes as “Sucker Punch” comes a new vision of Batman and Superman that’s pitch black, violent, and painfully stupid. Zack Snyder is a man with so much admiration for Alan Moore and Frank Miller, he spends the majority of “Batman v Superman” ripping them off wholesale. Snyder’s film is such a botched job he works in reverse, and takes the time out to deconstruct his vision of the iconic superheroes we haven’t even gotten to know yet. But hey, at least we get to see Bruce Wayne’s parents murdered in an alleyway once again. To make matters worse, the film is long, overstuffed, and painfully boring.
Tag Archives: Adventure
Bachelor Games (2016)
Henry is about to marry the love of his life, so he and the guys go to Argentina for an epic bachelor party/trip. Once there, there’s booze, strippers, and drugs before a sobering hike in the mountains where they meet a mystical figure called The Hunter and things get bloody.
The film is written by Chris Hill and Sam Michell who created a believable group of friends with problems and normal lives. None of the five leads are perfect; they all have issues, giving them humanity when they could have easily been caricatures like in The Hangover series. These guys are close, or used to be, and it shows through their interactions. Of course, not all the situations they are put in are realistic given the Hunter figure but having built a believable setting with human characters, the mystical or paranormal works as well.
This script is brought to the screen by Edward McGown a mostly non-fiction director. His nature documentary eye shows in how he shoots the mountains in which the five men go on a hike. Here he crafts a movie that looks beautiful and is suspenseful once the creepy figure of the Hunter shows up. He also brings his actors together in a way that works, whether they are having fun or fighting.
The cast of Bachelor Games is good with a couple of very strong performances. Jack Gordon as the groom to be, Henry, brings many layers to his character that starts off happy and then shows conflict and worry. His character has possibly the most to lose and the most to learn in the bad situation they find themselves in. As Henry’s best man/friend Leon, Charlie Bewley brings layers of slightly off, slightly creepy, womanizing, party boy with no regrets over anything he’s done. That is until he starts fearing for his life and reconsidering what is important in life. Both of their characters have interesting arcs and their performances go with that.
The rest of the cast does well too, Jake Doolan does a convincing drug-addicted bro as Terrence, Mike Noble shows sensitivity as Roy, and Obi Abili brings us an attempting-to-be happy army man with potential PTSD. However, viewers should not be fooled by these performances as almost nothing is as it appears here. The film works as a drama and as a mystery/thriller, it even works as a horror film as it has a lot of elements of the genre in it. The Hunter figure is creepy and adds a chilling element while its design is beautiful. The film has some blood but no real gore to speak of. The blood looks really good and real, even in bright light. They do not shy away from it or hide it in darkness, the violence leads to blood as it should and is clearly shown.
Also worth noting for this film is the cinematography by Lucio Bonelli who brings extensive film experience to director Edward McGown’s documentary experience to get the film to look beautiful and creates an almost dreamlike feel to the images, particularly when in the mountains. Some of the images are a bit on the over-exposed side, but it works with the settings and with the mysterious circumstances, bringing more to them and showing that creepy and mystical creatures can be just as effective in bright daylight.
While Bachelor Games is not the scariest film, it’s well-crafted and entertaining. The story has a twist but it’s early enough to not be annoying or film destroying, it actually adds to the film. The performances are good to very good; the writing brings a potentially very basic story into a more interesting one. The film is shot beautifully and makes you want to travel even with the risks shown. The whole of the film is good and worth a watch for sure.
Bachelor Games is now on VOD.
Sinister Squad (2016)
Once again The Asylum tip toes all the way to the finish line to avoid copyright infringement, offering up their own third hand version of “Suicide Squad.” Relying heavily on public domain characters and concepts, “Sinister Squad” isn’t your usual terrible Asylum fare. It’s more lackluster and tedious with a lot of the cast seemingly pushed in to mirroring the personalities they saw in trailers for “Suicide Squad.”
So star Johnny Rey Diaz is so not the Joker as a green haired maniac with odd teeth named Rumplestiltskin, while Talia A. Davis is so not Harley Quinn, as the mad red queen who is hopelessly in love with Rumplestiltskin. These stock fairy tale villains are assembled by Alice (a very fetching Christina Licciardi) who is left with no choice to call upon these baddies when their own Carabosse, who is so not Enchantress, breaks out to enact her own evil scheme. She plans to unleash the evil Death (can’t copyright Death), who with his cult, wants to either dominate the world, or garner a final form on Earth to rule over the realm.
It’s never clear what Death intends to do with Carabosse working with him, nor is there a whole lot of explanation as to where a piece of Alice’s looking glass factors in. Either way, like most Asylum productions, “Sinister Squad” is set in one place, primarily Asylum’s studios, where the entirety of the movie unfolds. Every action scene, dramatic confrontation, fight sequence, shoot out, and magic battle ensues within the corridors of the warehouses owned by Asylum, adding to the bargain basement aesthetic the film tries to side step so eagerly.
Aside from Licciardi, the only cast member who really rises above the tedium is Nick Principe who has a good time adding some variety to such a broadly sketched character, and tries to turn the generally boring villain in to a memorable nemesis. “Sinister Squad” is yet another knock off from The Asylum hoping to make some quick cash from easily confused foreigners, and relatives looking for a cheap present on the way to a third cousin’s birthday party. Only the morbidly curious need apply.
Now available on VOD.
Batman v Superman: Extended Cut or Why You Can’t Pour Perfume on a Pig
Pearls. Again. Bruce Wayne’s origin. Again. Joe Chill. I’m presuming. Again. I can still hear the echoes of fan boys rejoicing that “Batman v Superman” wouldn’t be another origin story, and yet director Zack Snyder allows us the thirtieth origin of Bruce Wayne, all for the purpose of squeezing in Bruce muttering “Martha.” Which is his mother. And so a thousand memes were born.
Director Zack Snyder doesn’t allow us the benefit of young Superman or Clark Kent with his mother, also curiously named Martha, because that would make sense. Plus, Snyder never worked with Diane Lane or Kevin Costner. It would be funny though to see Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Lauren Cohan playing John and Martha Kent.
Everybody Wants Some!! (2016)
Richard Linklater is of the philosophy that life isn’t planned out or a sequence of fates colliding, and bad luck giving us misery. For him, life is a series of random events, major and minute that result in pure happiness or pure sadness. “Everybody Wants Some!!” is every bit the drama and comedy masterpiece that its predecessor “Dazed and Confused” was. Not only is it an amazing companion piece to his nineties comedy, but it’s also an examination at the turbulence of youth and how being young has a lot of surprising structure and pressures behind it that can often be so much worse than adults.
Its 1980, Texas, and three days before college. Freshman Jake arrives in his new dorm, preparing to share a house with a group of very rowdy guys. Like them, Jake is a baseball player intent on proving himself on the team. Before the school year begins, and daily practices start in an effort to mold the school’s only winning sports team, Jake is taken along with his team on a three day journey of parties, drinking, and beautiful women. Linklater, much like he did in “Dazed and Confused” follows around a group of young people as they navigate through life and use music and humor to connect with one another and find kindred spirits. Music is the life blood of Linklater’s movies.
If there is such a thing as a soul, music is as close as it gets to Linklater conveying what a soul is, and how crucial music can be to igniting it. Rather than focus on a group of teens at the beginning of the summer, Linklater now follows a group of young adults in their final days of the summer, before they have to accept adult responsibility and give up the carefree days of their teens. The future isn’t as bleak as it was in the finale of “Dazed of Confused,” but the film does act as a requiem to immaturity and just being young, before it all fades away in to careers, obligations, and old age. “Everybody Wants Some!!” is a subtle look at enjoying youth and bidding it a fond farewell, all set to a very random and chaotic comedy that unfolds in to one excellent piece of cinema.
Linklater doesn’t commit to plot twists, cheap deaths, goofy romance, or melodrama, and instead zeroes in on drawing a slew of truly engaging characters, all of whom are blind to race and class, and find a means of bonding three days before school. Like everyone in a Linklater film, they use music to keep each other at eye level, and Linklater celebrates the magic of music. Not only does the film have an incredible soundtrack, but the characters live and breath through whatever music is on in the background, from singing along to “Rapper’s Delight” in a crowded car (a scene that rivals the “Bohemian Rhapsody” scene in “Wayne’s World,” easily), to the group of baseball players seducing young women at a local club with disco music and pop.
Though many will argue that “Everybody Wants Some!!” has no narrative, Linklater’s wizardry is in the seemingly random events that devise bits and chunks of plot, narrative and themes about male bonding, competition, and the thrills summer can offer to anyone open to a new adventure. Like Linklater’s previous films, “Everybody Wants Some!!” is simple, and down to Earth in scope and vision, but brings with it an incredible series of rich and complex characters, wonderful conflict, and yet another bang up soundtrack. I really hope Linklater offers up another follow up to “Dazed and Confused,” completing an unofficial trilogy. Linklater is a mastermind of storytelling who understands youth, nostalgia, as well as seeing the world through a filter where music is the universal language.
You Have to See This! Hardbodies (1984)
Since the sixties were in vogue in the eighties, you could probably build an entire sub-genre of films based on and around beaches. There were so many films revolving around guys trying to get laid in and around beaches, or living in beach houses, that it’s surprising almost every studio thought they’d cash in on this concept. There was even the silly “Back to the Beach,” an all star eighties ode to the classic Frankie and Annette beach blanket bingo comedies. Talk about childhood favorites.
This time around, “Hardbodies” is set during the best beach in the world, where apparently almost every hot woman in America go to, to either roller skate, or scamper around with their friends. The beach is filled with gorgeous women otherwise known as “hardbodies” to the local men, and main character Scotty is apparently the head of the game which involves hunting for women and getting them in bed as often as he possibly can. Scotty, despite being sex hungry, is the hero of the film that transforms from sex comedy, to dramatic romance, to sex comedy again and again you’ll likely feel confused toward the finale.
Scotty is a slacker and ladies man who roams the beach with his best friend Rag looking to score with gorgeous women. They’re called “Hardbodies,” and he’s more than successful in bedding his fair share of beach bunnies. After being kicked out of his apartment by his ruthless landlord, Scotty luckily meets three middle aged men who hire him to get them in to hot parties and hook them up with as many gorgeous women as he can. All seems to be going well, but when Scotty begins falling for sexual conquest Kristi, he’s torn between endless one night stands, or being in his first real committed relationship.
Scotty is your typical smooth talking slacker from the eighties, who spends most of his time running around the beach and trying to talk women in to bed with him, along with his best friend. He is also a part of the beach’s patrol, so he’s in charge of throwing out riff raff and helping other people have a good time. He even craftily throws out a group of perverted losers by siccing a biker gang on hem.
Partying of course doesn’t do much for his lifestyle, as Scotty is about to be kicked out by a merciless landlord that is more than happy to kick him out on his butt. Just Scotty’s luck a trio of middle aged businessmen has moved in to a local beach house and wants to have a good time and are willing to hire Scotty for the chance at tail. Scotty begrudgingly agrees and spends a good portion of the movie trying his best to hook the trio of men up with gorgeous women, all of whom have some sort of motive for the swingers.
This involves a ton of montages of the men hitting on beach bunnies and often bungling in their attempts, and throwing a wild party that involves a large amount of topless shots and sexual innuendo that is quite entertaining. At one point Scotty invites a tall gorgeous aspiring model to meet an agent at the party, and despite her anger at his lie, he convinces her to go to his room and take pictures anyway. Soon enough a crowd of women are in Scotty’s room competing for photo ops, apparently for the chance to be featured in the dictionary next to the word “Gullible.”
You could sum up the movie in one simple sentence, but “Hardbodies” has a lot of plot to it, and a ton of sub-plots that the writers work hard to resolve with enough believability. Along with Scotty working with the trio of men to get them laid, he’s also committing to Kristi, an intended one night stand he begins falling in love with. He also tricks a female rock band in to playing his party and falls in to success when the band garners interest from a professional promoter.
There’s also a large amount of focus on one of the older men Ashby, who begins a raunchy affair with kinky Michelle (as played by the obscenely sexy Kristi Somers), that transforms in to a romance. Their sub-plot contributes to a lot of the better moments of “Hardbodies,” including her bouncing on him while he’s half asleep, and a very heavily implied oral sex scene.
One of the banner scenes involves Michelle challenging Ashby to keep playing his guitar while she commits to her “act,” resulting in a rather hilarious reaction from him as he struggles to finish his guitar melody. If that’s not enough there’s another fun sub-plot with Courtney Gains, who plays Scotty’s loyal best friend Rag. Rag is your typical eighties goofball best friend who spends most of the movie also trying to get laid, and eventually manages to win the heart of a woman.
“Hardbodies” goes off the rails mid-way in favor of Scotty’s fight to keep his relationship with new girlfriend Kristi. After constantly striking out and harassing a girl to the point of sexual assault, the leader of the middle aged trio Hunter, gets in to a fight with Scotty and makes a play for Kristi. Soon enough, Hunter and Scotty are at war with one another for Kristi’s heart, and Scotty begins striking back at the player with a series of carefully orchestrated pranks that do him in.
While the endless sub-plots set up do make “Hardbodies” needlessly crowded with story, it revels in its simple premise based around getting women naked as often as possible, and featuring a lot of “hardbodies” walking around for the camera. We also get some past storylines showing up in the goofy climax, involving the skuzz bag beach crashers from the first half of the movie. We even get an obligatory old woman fainting at the sight of her naked middle aged son posing for the women in the party.
As an added bonus there’s the liberal use of the original “Partytime” by 45 Grave.
There was apparently a “Hardbodies” sequel set in Greece, but since it was IMDB Bottom 100 fodder at one time, I doubt I’ll get to it any time soon. For pure 1980’s raunchy beach blanket nonsense, though, there’s at least 1984’s “Hardbodies.” You’d be a fool not to respect the film’s trademark hot rod water bed.
The Shallows (2016)
Jaume Collet-Serra‘s survival thriller feels like a movie that was written in 1980 and just now saw the light of day as a vehicle for Blake Lively. It doesn’t have any of the beaming self importance of “Open Water” or “127 Hours,” which makes it a lot more fun than it has any right to be. Lively is gorgeous and charming as American tourist Nancy Adams, a medical student still reeling from the death of her mother after a long losing battle with cancer. Taking a hiatus from work and all of her responsibilities, she travels to Mexico to relax and surf on the beach. While waiting for some waves, she’s attacked by a massive shark that knocks her off of her board, and leaves her to plunge in to the tide where she cuts her leg open, hobbling any and all efforts to swim back to shore.