What does “Hunchback” teach the audience? Whether you’re gorgeous or ugly, if the hot girl says you’re cool, you’ll become the hero. Also, the nice guy always finishes last. Surely Quasimodo rides off in to the sunset with his crowd of supporters in the end, but who is Esmerelda going home with later that night? “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” is a bastardization from Walt Disney, where they take the tragic and brilliant tale of Quasimodo and water it down so much it’s barely an adaptation when we see it in animated force.
Tag Archives: Adventure
The Guyver (1991)
It’s hard to believe that such an amazing anime series like “Guyver” would be so poorly received here in the states. Back in 1991, my dad rented “Guyver” for us and I absolutely adored it because I thought the Guyver looked amazing. I loved the look, the concept, the costume, and his elbow blades. Not to mention the movie starred Mark Hamill and that bald guy I always see in horror movies who I always thought was cool.
Marvel One-Shot: Item 47 (2012)
The Marvel one shot short film “Item 47” is a movie set in the universe of the Avengers, that woks as an epilogue to “The Avengers” and a prologue to “Agents of Shield.” I’m sure this movie was created to test the waters by Marvel for a potential SHIELD TV series, and what with fans demanding more from this scenario, Marvel now has the upcoming SHIELD show to give fans more of the Marvel Live action universe.
The Wizard (1989)
In 1990, my brother and I watched 1989’s “The Wizard” about thirty times a day and loved the movie every single time we popped it in to the VCR. When I was seven, I dreamed of two things. I dreamed of entering a video game competition and playing Super Mario 3, and travelling around the country with the gorgeous Jenny Lewis. Mostly I wanted the second, but playing Super Mario 3 was also a great prospect. There’s no way to discuss “The Wizard” without seeing it through nostalgia tinted glasses, but while most people claim “The Wizard” is nothing but a ninety minute commercial for Nintendo, I wouldn’t so much call it a commercial so much as a mirror on the culture in the eighties. In the late eighties and most of the nineties, Nintendo simply dominated the world.
Wing Commander (1999)
How do you ruin potential for a great adaptation of the cult franchise “Wing Commander” in one fell swoop? You cast Freddie Prinze Jr. of course! The leading man with the charisma and talent of a mop stick leads the charge in this science fiction adaptation of the hit video game series, while Matthew Lillard is his spaz sidekick who screeches like a coked up C3P0 during battle, in spite of the fact that we’re told these are experienced soldiers.
Man of Steel (2013)
Much in the way Bryan Singer practiced with “Superman Returns,” director Zack Snyder displays amazing restraint and subtlety with his version of Superman. Which is surprising considering Zack Snyder is hardly ever about subtlety. This is the man behind the loud and sophomoric “Sucker Punch” and “Dawn of the Dead” after all. But with “Watchmen,” Snyder proved he could disassemble the superhero mythology and completely lands his masterpiece with his iteration of Superman. “Man of Steel” garners a ton of heart and soul, with a tale of Clark Kent’s journey for a sense of purpose and belonging in a home world that’s not his own.
Sharknado (2013)
Tara Reid. Killer Tornadoes. Man eating sharks. Sooner or later, someone was going to combine them to form the sweet piece of junk food cinema known as “Sharknado.” The Asylum almost seems proud of the title, flaunting it in film festivals and even presenting the title in big bold silver letters in the opening credits. With a title like that, you don’t even need to hear what it’s about. You just need to know that Ian Zeiring kicks ass. Who could resist this opportunity?