Dear lord is Yuliya Mayarchuk a goddess. A being of sexual ferocity, she’s emanates sensual daring, and innocence that make her the perfect woman to head up this rather entertaining sex dramedy. Every director seems to have a fixation on some part of a woman’s body, particularly directors of erotica. Director Tinto Brass places great emphases on the woman’s behind, often preferring to show the woman’s cleverly framed rump beyond all else.
Tag Archives: Adventure
Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Such a simple premise should have delivered a bland and somewhat forgettable animated film, but what Dreamworks manages to pull together is not only impressive, but surely one of the best films of 2012. “Rise of the Guardians” is a testament to the magic of folklore and the strength of belief. Though it’s not an outright declaration of theism, “Rise of the Guardians” places a lot of power on the strength of belief on sentient beings and what they can do for those that place importance in them. “Rise of the Guardians” is a film that all audiences will truly enjoy that manages to unite some of the most iconic magical beings to form the ultimate super team.
Uncle Buck (1989)
Even during his days on Second City, John Candy was one of the most restrained and brilliant comedy personalities of his time, a man who had genuine wit and charisma, and garnered laughs by his quick timing alone. Before Chris Farley presented the assumption that in order for a large man to be funny he had to take falls and be the butt of violent physical gags, John Candy had a class to his humor that showed the heavy guy didn’t have to always be the subject of vicious antics and mean spirited humor. Sure, in “Uncle Buck,” Candy does take his hits and falls, but the entire movie is based more around his charm, razor sharp wit, and ability to improvise at the drop of a hat. Not that Chris Farley wasn’t a laugh riot, but heavy men could do more than provide laughs for the more attractive people in the movies.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)
If this sequel had any balls, they’d take the reins of Johnny Blaze and hand the character over to someone talented like Idris Elba. At least then there’d be an interesting angle to this wretched sequel to a painfully mediocre movie that barely anyone remembers. Nicolas Cage once again proves he has no business being in film, reclaiming the role of Johnny Blaze, the balding mid-fifties biker who was cursed as Ghost Rider after making a deal with the devil. In case you didn’t know that, there’s five minutes of bad exposition along with Cage narration explaining the entire mythology of the Rider and what he does in particular, cue terrible animation. Most of the time during the opening animation, Cage sounds like even he doesn’t take this garbage seriously, and spend most of it making light of what is supposed to be a terrifying and mystifying character in the comic book universe.
The Lord of the G-Strings: The Femaleship of the String (2003)
I still don’t quite understand the appeal of Seduction Cinema. Hell, even I find the movies they release to be entertaining and appealing. The women are hot, sure, but this is the age of the internet where pictures and videos of hot women are at your finger tips in seconds. And surely there are more hardcore films out there with hotter women. Surely, it can’t be the sex scenes since all of the sequences involve light kissing and mild petting. Watching a movie from Seduction Cinema is akin to getting your crotch rubbed over thick pants.
Pac-Man: The Movie (2012)
It’s rare that fan films can present a premise for a simple concept that can be stretched in to a feature length film. It’s also rare that a fan film that can pay tribute to a beloved icon while also adding a creative twist to it that gives it a special flair that fans would love. “Pac-Man: The Movie” by James Farr changes the concept of Pac-Man while also adding a new flavor to it that works wonders. Pac-Man is, of course, the iconic video game from the eighties about a yellow disc eating pegs and avoiding various colored ghosts. What director Farr and Steelhouse Digital do is add a science fiction twist to it that’s not only incredibly entertaining but pretty damn brilliant.
Prehysteria! (1993)
Hey, during the big dinosaur craze of the nineties, owning your own dinosaur was something almost every kid dreamt of. Owning your own miniature dinosaurs was just the icing on the cake that Charles Band and Full Moon pinpointed with accuracy. Sure “Prehysteria!” is one of almost two dozen films in the Full Moon library about miniatures of some kind, but “Prehysteria!” succeeds in being a novel family film. Granted, it’s cheesy as all hell, but in the context of the nineties, it gives kids their ideal fantasy: Owning and befriending their own pet dinosaurs. Dinosaurs with their own sweet personalities, to boot!