Dear North America,
Thank you. “Disaster Movie” barely cracked the top seven in the box office. Thank you. I Was tempted to sound like one of those newspapers by declaring “Disaster Movie” a true disaster, but such Oscar Wilde wordplay (Yes, I referenced Randall Graves) is too good for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. These are the men who felt having a character named McLover was funny. And you proved me wrong in declaring your utter stupidity. There’s a lot to be said for morbid curiosity and you weren’t curious about “Disaster Movie” were you? No.
It used to be a simple case of “If you don’t like it, don’t watch it.” Hell, if I don’t like a show, I just don’t watch it, but hear me out. With “Smallville” it’s different. At one time it used to be an excellent show, one that promised to be all about Clark Kent and his transformation in to Superman. Then somewhere on the fourth season, it was sold down the river and this show about Clark became a show about everyone else but Clark. I’m a hardcore true to the blood Superman fan and it’s not as easy as “If you don’t like it, don’t watch it.” I still sit and endure “Smallville” to this day because I pray and hope that it will return to its former glory of being about something.
One of the more entertaining moments of “Next Avengers” involves the eventual emergence of the Incredible Hulk from the eccentric form of Bruce Banner, now a scientist in hiding. Watching the Hulk smash these cheesy robotic copies of the avengers was quite cathartic, and it’s also refreshing to see the team stick to the mold of Ultron as we know him, a corruptible and despicable technological force who will prove to the be prevalent menace if a series pans out. I also really enjoyed watching the original Thor talk to his daughter Torrum in the climax; it’s a surprisingly touching moment that may sell me on watching this with my nephew.
The world is in shambles. The country is on the brink of depression. Millions are out of work. Violence is now considered entertainment. Convicts are now reduced to television stars for our own sick amusement. And we’re now on the brink of revolting against a corrupt disgusting government run by a madman. But enough about modern times, right now we have “Death Race”! A film that barely covers any of those issues beyond using it as a back drop for the basis of the death racing, where as Corman’s original was so ahead of its time, it perfectly encapsulates what this generation is all about and it was made in the seventies!
People bitch about how video games get a bad rap, but these days so many action movies are built around this concept that make them live action video games. It’s impossible not to hate on video games when so many action movies want to convince us that they really could be if a studio tried hard enough. Take “Redline” a movie thankfully obscure due to a poor release date and terrible publicity, but is really just constructed like a video game. We have cut scenes, colorful characters, bosses, and various drivers all of whom are introduced with profiles and name inserts by heroine Natasha who takes great pains to give us back story without the script ever having to do the work to good old fashioned storytelling.
