The Invincible Iron Man (2007)

Posted on March 6, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

You have to give it to Marvel Comics. While DC refuses to allow certain freedoms to separate properties of their characters for fear of “confusing fans” and undermining our intelligence, Marvel Comics openly allows their characters to be portrayed in different mediums. Even with a big budget film adaptation in the works, with Robert Downey Jr. starring, and John Favreau directing, they still allow this animated adaptation to be released to fans. Because, we can tell the difference. We just can. We’re not as dumb as WB and DC perceives us to be. One of the better improvements upon the Iron man animated film is that it bears no real connection to the previous “Ultimate Avengers” series of films. Meanwhile, the story of Tony Stark and Rhodey is played with a level of espionage and suspense of your typical spy film, shying away from any sort of camp. Here Stark is hardly ever referred to as Iron Man, and the character is more of a presence, and less a superhero.

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The New World (2005)

Posted on March 2, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

The story of Pocahontas just isn’t interesting. There’s nothing about this pseudo-historical tale about a young woman who became civilized that attracts it to me. With “The New World,” there’s no new angle presented to the audience, no new exploration of other characters, and the soapy drippy romance is still present and accounted for. “The New World” just didn’t live up to the hype that preceded it, and that’s because Malick anxiously looks for a new method of telling this yarn and pretty much never achieves his goals in that respect from the get go.

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Poseidon (2006)

Posted on February 5, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

From the beginning, “Poseidon” sets up pins for the potential humongous tidal wave to knock down one by one, and it couldn’t be more obvious if they tried. There’s the over protective father who built the ship, there’s Kevin Dillon playing the worm once again, there’s the independent daughter of the ship’s builder whose boyfriend has an “I’m fucked” sign over his head from minute one, there’s Freddy Rodriguez as a waiter who is hauling his wife aboard secretly. Gee, they may as well have targets on their asses. It’s interesting to note, Rodriguez, one of the few minorities in this corn fed remake, receives the most gruesome, and early death of the entire cast. Curious.

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Cars (2006)

Posted on January 24, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

Maybe it’s because Pixar seems to be attempting to appeal to the NASCAR crowd, maybe it’s because Pixar seems to be glorifying a “sport” that’s really just cars driving around in circles, or maybe it’s because Pixar has created a movie that is preaching about the good days of society when it was more innocent, from a company like Disney that’s basically sterilized and dominated the world with its utterly sickening spree of overpriced merchandise. Turn any corner in Times Square in New York and you’re guaranteed to see something from Disney. And that’s not a coincidence. Disney is the cause of many problems in America, one of which is their sheer monopoly on companies and media, and the contribution to the overall vast consumption that’s ruined how Americans think.

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)

Posted on January 18, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

To pretend “The Curse of the Black Pearl” possessed an elaborate, epic story rich in characterization and subtle dialogue, would be to set up all sorts of pretensions. “Dead Man’s Chest” is in the same vein as the former, only slightly more intent on showing its blatant grab for big bucks. Disney ran out of ideas, turned to make their rides into movies and got lucky. Big whoop. “Dead Man’s Chest” is fun, though, and I can’t sweat them for that. Verbinski’s direction is on par as usual, and “Dead Man’s Chest” is a gorgeous epic, with some of the better action scenes that trump the original’s.

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Jackass: Number Two (2006)

Posted on January 9, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

Bam: I’d rather rip my dick off and throw it in the river, than do that again.

It’s no big new flash, and not a shock that “Jackass” and everything about it, has never been a favorite of mine. I despised the show, despise the talentless asses involved in it, and I loathed the first film. Say whatever you want about me, but I just don’t get what the appeal is about this series. I’m curious when stupid chic became so popular, and why “Jackass” is consistently popular. I just don’t get it, I admit that. But then again, “Jackass: Number Two” had me near tears the entire time. Shocked? You know you are. Close your mouth and keep reading.

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Howl's Moving Castle (Hauru no ugoku shiro) (2004)

Posted on January 8, 2007 by Felix Vasquez

“Howl’s Moving Castle” is probably one of the weaker entries from Miyazaki. Miyazaki’s films have one thing for them that you can not deny. Originality. “Howl’s Moving Castle” is original, and it’s brutally entertaining, and that’s why I enjoyed this very much. Sure, I was watching the American dubbing (accidental, give me a break), but “Howl’s Moving Castle” possesses more unique fantasy elements and plot progression that really kept me in awe constantly. A scarecrow that follows our heroine like a lovesick dog? An old dog that weighs a ton? A little boy who masquerades as an old man? And a heroine who turns into an elderly woman sporadically? You take a look at Miyazaki’s universe and you’re nothing short of breath taken the entire time.

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