I really can’t understand why companies on tight budgets insist on attempting to create humongous epics on such a small pittance. “Supercroc” is part rip-off of “Primeval,” a part rip-off of “Alligator,” and a part rip-off of “Godzilla.” But mostly, it’s just an animals-on-a-rampage flick typical of low budget fare these days. And as all low budget fare, the animal in question does very little. As I’ve seen with many low budget movies, the film thinks it can base the story around our characters, so the audience won’t notice that the thing they came for only appears every twenty minutes and does very little. And this would be well and good, were the writing worth something. I mean, hell, the first ten minutes of this snooze fest involves soldiers on a mission on… I want to say a lake resort.
Tag Archives: Adventure
TMNT (2007)
Michelangelo: I have nightmares about birthday parties…
I’ll happily admit this again and again, “TMNT” was one of my most anticipated movies of 2007. Because whether I say it or not, the Ninja Turtles were just a big part of my youth. And they’re a franchise I consistently trail back to and enjoy. I loved the original movie, loved the animated series and hell, I even dug the 2003 animated series. Remember that period when they were a rock band? I digress. This franchise is not without its hitches, as every franchise is, but “TMNT” was a step in the right direction. Computer animation, great cast, and bringing the turtles back to the dark without abandoning their major audience. I’m assuming you know the story of the turtles by now, so I’ll segue into the review.
Mirrormask (2005)
“Dreams only get you so far. And then you need cash.”
When “Pan’s Labyrinth” was released last year, it was shortly compared to “Mirrormask” the basic story of a dreamy young girl who is pulled into a fantasy world. Gaiman’s fantasy masterpiece sadly only experienced a limited release in the US with a quick DVD release that fooled many in to thinking it was another ho-hum fantasy installment vying for classic status, but if you look for it it’s a basically incredible and understated bit of cinematic fantasy fare only Gaiman could have delivered. But thankfully that comparison to Del Toro’s film was very short lived. In the end, I prefer “Pan’s Labyrinth” but that’s not to say “Mirrormask” isn’t without its sheer strengths.
Shrek 2 (2004)
The question always is: was there really a need for a sequel? The answer is no, but when there’s money to be made, Hollywood will do anything to make sure there’s another film no matter how pointless, or awful if it’s mildly successful. I liked “Shrek”, I thought it was a one of a kind animated comedy that was actually funny. Then I watched “Shrek 2” and was appropriately disappointed. I went in to this movie with a lot of optimism because I liked the original film so much, but this was just a lagging effort, and it becomes painfully clear within thirty minutes in this movie that the producers and all the stars got big fat pay raises to come back for this.
Stan Lee Presents: The Condor (2007)
What Stan Lee has basically done here is create his very own Spider-Man. With the Condor, we have a basically privileged young man whose life is really in need of a boost. When his parents die, he is rendered basically crippled after being attacked, and becomes a superhero. One that talks the villains to death to piss them off. The Condor is basically the equivalent of the Spider-Man rogue Rocket Racer with a mixture of that lame superhero from the nineties: MANTIS.
Stan Lee Presents Mosaic (2006)
“Mosaic” lured me because, well, anything these days that doesn’t look like quasi-anime made just gets a pass with me, and “Mosaic” gets a pass for looking like honest to goodness animation. “Mosaic” is made up to look like a moving comic book. Wherein the recent Marvel cheap-o cash-ins, “Mosaic,” from Stan Lee’s Company “Pow” entertainment, seeks to be unique, while also possessing the same novelty of a comic, fonts and all. But don’t let the animation fool you, it’s not something I’d suggest for anyone under fifteen, basically because watching the villain break a guard’s neck, was something that drew a furrow of the brow. But hey, the writing by Scott Lobdell paired with Anna Paquin’s name really drew me to this fantasy actioner, I must say.
Aquamarine (2006)
It’s hard to really deny that Jojo and Emma Roberts have an interesting chemistry. Had the writers chosen to make “Aquamarine” a down to Earth glimpse at friendship with a mermaid, and turned away from the sickening fluff, there could have been something very emotional and clutching. But in the end, it’s really just a typical on-screen friendship. The girls are bubbly, and boring, and Roberts is your typical geeky character, etc. There’s one interesting sequence in which the two argue and bring about issues that are never confronted in the film. And I sat there wondering why the hell this was never brought up with a lengthier and complex scope. For a film that claims to be about friendship, it’s sad we didn’t see more of the depth available with the two main characters here. Jojo and Roberts’ chemistry is charming to watch, and I didn’t despise watching them yammer back and forth. Meanwhile, I could have done with more scenes featuring Arielle Kebbel as the obligatory bitchy character because… well, Kebbel is gorgeous. Need I say more?