Trey Parker and Matt Stone once explained in an episode of Charlie Rose that they’d never reveal their religious or political affiliations, because they didn’t want to alienate their audience. But “Team America” is an indictment of literally every issue under the sun, from Hollywood, to the government, to Bruckheimer films, right down to crappy shows like RENT. “Team America” is at its best though when it spoofs not only Bruckheimer’s insanely over the top films, but when it spoofs blind patriotism.
Tag Archives: Adventure
It Waits (2005)
If you can believe Cerina Vincent is a park ranger, then the writers have won half the battle. Vincent plays the busty park ranger Danielle ala Russ Meyer, who is a whiney emo alcoholic mourning the loss of her friend, and seems like a well enough heroine forced to fight off a monster. Sure, she’s about as far-fetched as a park ranger as Denise Richards was a rocket scientist, but in the end I was willing to ignore the lapses in logic, and power on through. Cerina Vincent is gorgeous in a film that allows her to flaunt her curves while also playing the strong heroine battling a ferocious enigmatic beast from beyond. The concept for “It Waits” is simple. Busty park ranger fights monster in forest with her pet parrot. That’s the best way I can describe “It Waits” in one sentence.
My Date with Drew (2004)
The creator of this odd film that wants to be considered a documentary (fat chance) is an idiot. Hey, I’m sure he’s a great guy, and I’m sure he’s a kind person, and a good friend, but I’ve known good people who are idiots, and director Herzlinger is an idiot. He’s poor, he doesn’t have a job, and he’s just recently won 1,100 dollars from a game show. Instead of turn that in to something of a worthy venture, or investment, he blows it. And he’s a struggling filmmaker. What a convenient turn of events. “My Date with Drew” is a movie that you’d probably see played on television back to back with “The Surreal Life” because every single aspect of it is staged, corny, and pathetic like a typical reality show that you’d see on network television.
Herbie Fully Loaded (2005)
After a montage of earlier “Herbie” films, we continue with the “extreme” semi-remake quasi-sequel to “Herbie The Love Bug” called “Herbie: Fully Loaded”. Do people still race with Buggies? Who cares, but you just know Lindsay Lohan must have owed something to Disney to have to do this film. It’s not like Lohan’s “career” has been all about quality films, mind you, but this film has “Contract fulfillment” written all over it. Granted, it’s not one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, not even one of the worst I’ve seen in a while, but it’s pretty damn lame, even for a kids film.
Steamboy (Suchîmubôi) (2004)
Yes, I’ll be the first to admit it, and I’m not the only one to say it, but “Akira” stands as one of my favorite anime films of all time. Bar none. When it comes to my favorite “Vampire Hunter D” holds the top spot, but if you want quality, you just have to go to “Akira”. Rarely has a film been able to hold up against time. Katsuhiro Otomo’s film experienced many alterations that kept it from becoming a true classic, and I’m willing to get past all that because “Steamboy” ends up being a quality piece of filmmaking from Otomo. Though it’s not a masterpiece, it’s still a very good watch that deserves the benefit of the doubt in the end.
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)
Director Garth Jennings mimics Ivan Reitman’s style, and sick humor down to every particular inch, and until I read up on this film, I’d convinced myself Reitman directed this. For a film that starts off with a musical number involving fleeing Dolphins singing “So long and thanks for all the fish!”, it’s obvious you’re going to get something new. I thought the dolphins would be CGI and animated, but having the song play while stock footage of Dolphins run on a loop is further proof of that not taking itself too seriously hypotheses. And its hard to hate something that sports a cast like John Malkovich, Sam Rockwell, Mos Def, Zooey Deschanel, and Alan Rickman, it’s hard to go wrong, and I had fun.
Ultraviolet (2006)
I thought “Equilibrium” was a great action science fiction film that really showed that Kurt Wimmer had the possibility to create intelligent action films, but then he created “Ultraviolet”. Rule one of being in the art field, Kurt, never create copies of your previous work. People will know. “Ultraviolet” is one part Calvin Klein models gone psycho, one part music video, and one part tired genre fodder that takes basically any and every chance to keep from being original.