The creators of “Legend” have decided to take what made the first film so good and turn the sequel and its story into another “Spy Kids” rip off. Well, not so much “Spy Kids”, but a shameless rip off of “The Mummy Returns”. Male adventurer and female damsel both evolve into settled individuals that happen to have a son who is clever, smart mouthed, and both mutter at some point a variation of “My dad is going to kick your ass” to the grizzled villain. The derivations are so damn shameless that I felt bile of sheer disgust starting this film. The fact that the creators felt the need to add a snot nosed little brat who is there simply as one giant walking cliché, to make the film more “exciting” as merely just obvious pandering to a younger crowd, is condescending, since you figure Zorro did much of that already.
Tag Archives: Adventure
The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi (2003)

Not many people are aware of it, but I’m a huge fan of the “Zatoichi” series. I love the series, and I’ve seen almost all of them, so when I was finally able to get my hands on the Beat Takeshi sequel, I was ecstatic. What made Zatoichi was that Shintaro Katsu presented such an inept and humble distinction to him that he was never thought to be a dangerous persona, but Katsu strived in making Zatoichi so unassuming, yet so utterly deadly. Katsu was short, chubby, and seemingly incapable of being able to learn any sort of arts, but once criminals crossed Ichi’s path, he spoke loudly with his rapid fire sword work. For those unaware of the character, Zatoichi is an ex-yakuza who lost his eyesight during a war, and became a masseur traveling across the land as an anti-hero.
Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
After the tepid “Troy” and the awful “Alexander”, I was hoping “Kingdom of Heaven” would be a change in pace. And I was wrong. Even with Ridley Scott at the helm, I was just so disappointed. Continue reading
Valiant (2005)
Messenger pigeons were a crucial aspect to the victory of World War 2, and an integral foundation to the survival of the soldiers on the battlefield. “Valiant” is a fun adventure story revolving around messenger pigeons during the Second World War, and it’s surprisingly entertaining. I know it’d be hip to describe “Valiant” as simply lackluster, but I had fun, I had a lot fun, and there are possible reasons for it: I love the British culture, so I have a weakness for anything involving it. I love British comedy. And I love British comedians, and the cast is filled with nothing but talented, legendary British actors and comedians. I mean with cast of Ewan McGregor, Ricky Gervais, Hugh Laurie, Jim Broadbent, Tim Curry, John Cleese, and many, many more, how could I not enjoy this film? And I did.
Superman: Brainiac Attacks (2006)
While I love Bruce Timm, and while I appreciate him bringing DC out from the stone age and into modern times, he basically ruined the Superman series, and never realized it to the full potential it was capable of. Timm, a hardcore fan of batman, relegated Supes to secondary character, and when he actually focused on Superman, he never really understood what the character was about. Even in the “Justice League” series, Timm always tried to push Batman into the center square and downsize on the Superman character. So you can imagine my sheer ease when the announcement for the new Superman animated movie would not feature Timm on board.
Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005)
About a little under a year ago, a filmmaker named Russell Emanuel sent over a film called “Girl with Gun”, about a single girl who has to balance her single life, career, and job as a hit man all at the same time. I loved that movie and it was a little under twenty minutes long. That film, an independent film, was fun, light, and breezy and managed to grasp its concept with enough entertaining novelty, that it felt too damn short. With “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”, I didn’t get that feeling. And I wanted to enjoy it, I really, really did. But I couldn’t. And why? Well, mostly because “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” takes itself much too seriously. One thing I can’t begrudge “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” for is its excellent direction.
The World's Fastest Indian (2005)
Every now and then, every so often, you just have to watch a film that makes you smile and makes you happy. “The World’s Fastest Indian” is the surefire antidote for depression or cynicism. Anderson’s film, in the spirit of coming of age stories like “Harry and Tonto” and “The Straight Story”, evolves from a story of friendship, then of a small town, then of an old man refusing to lay down and die, to a road flick, and then to an underdog sports film. And it’s just such a treat to watch everything unfold with Burt Munro played with such genuine charm by Hopkins.


