I really disliked the first film, I mean for a franchise that had the ability to be a winning formula, it’s sad the studios completely botched it with a low grade, sub-par, and lackluster film. Sure, it had a sense of entertainment, but that only a hint of it, and it attempted to become a feminine “Indiana Jones” while instead transforming in to a poor man’s “Indiana Jones”. When a video game with controllable characters has more life in it than a movie with real actors, that’s just pathetic. With “The Cradle of Life” I didn’t really expect anything different in terms of quality and depth of story. Angelina Jolie is cute, but hardly has the charisma needed for Lara Croft, and “The Cradle of Life” proves it. And surprisingly Jolie is not sexy here.
Tag Archives: Adventure
Shark Tale (2004)
I’m as to Will Smith’s real appeal these days. Every role he’s in, he basically plays himself, and in “Shark Tale”, Will Smith plays Will Smith… as a fish; How incredibly original. Oscar, his character is very superficial. He has no real redeeming qualities, is more based on his personality than actually making him a three-dimensional character with traits, and never really convinces me that I should like him, and I ended up liking Lenny (Jack Black) much more. Every other character is just there to pop jokes in now and again.
Assault on Precinct 13 (2005)
Hidalgo (2004)
“Hidalgo” is often times a very fun and exciting throwback to old time serials, with a guiltless innocence that is family fun through and through without the taint of colorful characters. And it is a lot of fun from beginning to end with a great story that everyone can really become involved in. Based on the supposedly and debatably true accounts of Frank Hopkins, an adventurer who risked tooth and nail during an epic race across the desert. Though it can be debated if the events depicted here ever really happened, what we see on-screen most of the time is a lot of fun as post-Aragorn Viggo Mortensen takes the reins of adventure hero this time and really packs a punch as the anti-hero Frank who is haunted by the slaughter of his people, and is in a bitter battle with his conscience over his heritage as a Native American.
Troy (2004)
“Troy” is ultimately the prime example of how such an immense concept ripe with possibilities and potential can be so botched in the wrong hands. While an achievement in visuals, “Troy” fails in every other aspect including its writing and storytelling. Peterson excels at creating a half hour too long epic with just no point in sight. The film has so much going for it, but quickly blows it as we drudge on and on for three hours without any real substance nor do we take anything away from this demanding experience. As they say, if a film is great, three hours can fly by, but with a poor film, three hours can drag on, and this did indeed drag on with melodrama, romantic sub-plots and everything that drags this down. I love the legend of Helen of Troy and the face that launched a thousand ships, but this is not what I was hoping for, and it doesn’t pay homage to its true storyteller.
Little Black Book (2004)
Why must we sympathize with a stupid character? Not a “ha-ha” stupid character, but an “Oh my god what an idiot” stupid character? We can’t, so we don’t. But Murphy is so cute, you’ll say. Who gives a crap? She’s kind of goofy looking, but that’s not my point. Why should we give a crap about this character who is so utterly irritating and obnoxious we are forced to sit through a two hour (!) movie about her “adventures” to discover her boyfriend is a lying, cheating, shit-for-brains? Shit-for-brains, meet shit-for-brains, because that’s what this movie is after all is said and done.
Catwoman (2004)
Funny thing about bad movies. They can reflect either the utter refusal to be resourceful from a filmmaker, or they can mirror the utter vanity of its makers. Such is the case of “Catwoman” a film touted as a bonafide hit before we saw the true horror. Bad movies with large budgets, and big stars ensuring a hit regardless of pre-conceived notions and even ensuring a good film after the general reservations from looking at the monstrosity that is the Catwoman costume. Films like these, from the standpoint of a movie-goer, and a comic book fan make me blood thirsty, and I revel in bringing out the claws (Pun not intended) and knocking it down a notch. There is NOTHING redeeming about this film, there’s nothing here that I can point out was a mild positive aspect. This is a film that screams sheer vanity from its star and filmmaker, and is truly thirty minutes longer than it has the right to be.