I used to love “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids”. As a child I spent many days watching the Cosby Kids from their junkyard solve problems while bringing us along for the fun that ensued. It was really no surprise to me when I discovered that the adaptation was being filmed, especially with the successes of popular shows being processed in to bad movies like “Scooby-Doo”, and “Rocky and Bullwinkle”. Very few were hits, and many were utter misses, because instead of giving us a truly good story that works, they were just made to cash in on the popularity and take our money. Luckily, I never paid for any of them. “Fat Albert”–though not as awful as claimed repeatedly–is still a terrible film and was a bit of a match to sit through.
Tag Archives: Adventure
Red Siren (La Sirene Rouge) (2002)
This is a film that could work. It could work as a film, and it could work as a separate entity. As a film that involves such an elaborate plot, it could work as a purely engrossing thriller, but the problem is it doesn’t work. About half of the time, the film is beaming with potential and possibilities that are completely misfired with another half that just can’t get it at that level of sophistication. “The Red Siren” bounces back and forth with a hackneyed plot that is both confusing and un-involving while presenting sub-plots that are hardly ever developed. So much seems to be happening during this, but none of it is ever fleshed out in to anything completely coherent. “The Red Siren” could also work were it not such a shameless retread of “The Professional”.
The Batman vs. Dracula (2005)
“The Batman” is one of the only series featuring Batman that hasn’t been animated by the well known and widely accepted form of Bruce Timm’s design, and as a series it’s always been a very poor successor in simple fact that it’s only basically been invented to cash in on “Batman Begins”. The series was created and rushed in to premiere showing on the WB network months before “Batman Begins”. The series as a whole is terrible; it’s bland, lifeless, and often uneventful. “The Batman vs. Dracula” is the first animated film from the Batman franchise that didn’t feature artwork from Bruce Timm et al. But this isn’t the first time Batman and Dracula have crossed paths, any respectable comic fan knows that Batman and Dracula are pure rivals, and this makes the distinct hinting that this is the first time they’ve ever crossed paths.
Domino (2005)
Director John Ford once said that if you must choose between the fact or the legend, go with the legend, and it’s a known verity that about ninety percent of the biographical pictures ever made in Hollywood have had some or all story elements of its subjects embellished, romanticized, or utterly sensationalized. What you have to appreciate about this is that it admits without shame that it’s somewhat made up. We’re never told by really anyone which parts are fabricated, but the filmmakers sought out to remind us in the opening scenes: “Based on a true story… sort of”. It’s a clever opening that made me somewhat amused because it let me know without bullshitting me that the people are real, but the story is pretty made up, but enjoy it either way.
Into the Blue (2005)
A group of barge sailors accidentally find buried treasure on the ocean floor and come across deadly pirates. Peter Benchley’s “The Deep”? No you fool, this parade of good looking people and much ridiculousness is called “Into the Blue”, yet another remake. Take the old time storytelling devices and implement the sentiment of today’s culture by juicing it up with a cast full of pretty people with no particular acting ability. If “Into the Blue” is any indicator, the producers were more compelled to flash us than provide a story that wasn’t contrived or incredibly far-fetched. Two young people who should be models are poor in a trailer and go deep sea diving for sunken barges for cash; a plane crashes, and they discover a butt load of cocaine but cross some fierce mobsters and pirates on the way to staking their claims.
Layer Cake (2004)
Films like this make me happy I can afford to pay for them because “Layer Cake” is worth the money in the end. Taking off with a very Guy Ritchie sensibility, director Matthew Vaughn who has had involvement with one of my favorite films of the past years “Snatch” creates his own stylish monster of a mob movie with “Layer Cake”. What does the title refer to? Well, that’s basically something left for the climax, but this rampage of sex, booze, drugs, and violence make this one of the best mob movies I’ve seen since “Snatch”. Mr. X is a drug dealer/drug maker who wants to grab life by the balls.
Around the Bend (2004)
For all it is in the end, “Around the Bend” sure is trite, cheesy, and cliché, but it’s also entertaining and most of the time it’s hard to beat the combined talents of people like Michael Caine, Josh Lucas, and the ubiquitous Christopher Walken, respectively. In the spirit of films like “Five Easy Pieces” and “Diamonds”, we’re given the usual trifecta generational clashing between father, son, and grandson as they venture out on the open road to fulfill a request courtesy of their great grandfather (cue Caine). So we have this sometimes beautiful road flick involving these actors as they discover each other while being forced to stop at every KFC’s that is drawn out for them on the map left behind by Henry after his death. Though the whole road trip concept is tired, what the plot does with it is a rather original twist by having these three generations of men bond while at a fast food restaurant and occasionally coming across an oddball here or there.