Okay, readers, pop quiz from yours truly. You’re a Hollywood exec (sorry to insult you, but bear with me, I’m getting somewhere with this), and you help get a movie in to theaters that’s barely watchable, what do you do? Do you a) leave it alone to rot on shelves and move on? b) do you remake it? or c) do you give it a crappy sequel? If you chose A or B then you know nothing about Hollywood, because inevitably all this is is basically a crappy sequel to a crappy movie, the problem is while the first film was without a doubt crappy, it was mildly entertaining, but this, this is just brutal.
Tag Archives: Adventure
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)
I rarely, and I mean rarely ever give modern comedies glowing reviews, because most of the time, comedies really suck, they suck like Paris Hilton on prom night, and then I saw “Harold & Kumar”. I’ll admit, I expected this to be really bad, I was dreading watching this, and I just expected it to be as bad as “Dude, Where’s My Car?”, but when I was finished with this movie, I didn’t hate it. As a matter of fact, I loved it. You may not know it by the trailers but this is a rather intelligent comedy, and as much as it tries not to be, it’s an original comedy. Harold and Kumar are a lot like Beavis and Butthead, except smart, like Cheech and Chong sans the hippy lingo, and our two spotlight characters are stoners who happen to be rather intelligent educated people who really just smoke pot to relax after the pressures of life take hold.
Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)
While “The Prisoner of Azkaban” was a critical success, I’ve discovered a lot of the hardcore fans disliked this movie a great deal. As for the financial success it’s pretty much a no-brainer; these films are made because there’s automatically a built-in audience, but as far as critical success, critics loved the work done by Alfonso Cuaron, and I’m one of them. While it may be true I’ve never read the book, I prefer looking at it from a perspective of an outsider and this is the best installment of the franchise so far. I liked the first film, was on the fence for the less than exciting sequel, but this happens to be the best I’ve seen for this so far. As for the “Harry Potter” franchise, I’ve never clicked with this or its less than–how shall I say–sane fans, but this is a great cinematic marvel.
Rugrats Go Wild (2003)
The Nickelodeon films of late from “The Rugrats Movie” right down to “Hey Arnold! The Movie” have been awful movies without a soul or remotely memorable moments worth mentioning. So my natural hesitation towards “Rugrats Gone Wild” was basically understandable. Surprisingly I was wrong, perhaps it was because of the presence of the “Wild Thornberry’s” characters from their series that helped keep the taint from the “Rugrats” mood at bay, but this turned out to be a pretty good movie in the end. I was never really much of a big fan of “The Rugrats”, but I have always loved “The Wild Thornberry’s” being an animal lover and wildlife activist, so I was somewhat optimistic as to what may occur and this ended up being a simple fun little family film.
The Pacifier (2005)
So, call me a sucker, and have pity on me, but one of the saving graces for this was Brittany Snow. I got a thing for that gal, and she really helped me cruise through this without shutting it off and throwing it out the window. I’ve had a thing for her since “American Dreams” and she’s fun to look at during this crap fest. Meanwhile, the very funny Brad Garrett really pulls off the villain role here with his tough grizzled machismo fueled character and really does entertain where the others fail. “The Pacifier”, is undoubtedly a vehicle for Diesel whose popularity has seriously wavered. Now, attempting to cash in on his image in a children’s film, he’s not so much slumming it, but I saw it as him really just taking the comedic route ala Schwarzenegger in the much more enjoyable “Kindergarten Cop” to branch out with his career.
Thunderbirds (2004)
“Thunderbirds” is the every essence of modern children fodder I despise. From colorful distracting special effects, an utterly brainless story, really bad acting, and an end product that fails to give a child anything new to take from the experience. Admittedly, I was a fan of the original “Thunderbirds” show which, for those whom don’t know, consisted of marionettes which made up the entire cast and miniatures which made up the special effects. While those who would consider the sight of my description dumb, well then, they haven’t seen this film. “Thunderbirds” has nothing to do with the concept to begin with, and is basically one of the worst movies I’ve seen in years. The film “Thunderbirds” is supposed to be about men dressed in suits whom save the world in different sized ships, but what was once a very fun show is now reduced to being a cheesy “Spy Kids”/”Johnny Quest” hybrid rip-off with bubble gum children replacing marionettes.
Batman Begins (2005)
You’ve probably heard this a lot since this film came out, but fuck it, I feel like saying it too. They finally got it right. Finally. After long years of imagining what the Batman franchise could have been, my hopes finally come to fruition. Finally. Batman is now Batman. Finally. Batman is a dark menacing figure who doesn’t wear silver specks on his costume. Finally. Batman is a really layered character. Finally. And here’s an incredibly wild concept: Batman gets more screen time than the two villains in the film. Finally. This is “Batman Begins”, this where it started, and I couldn’t be happier. There’s this feeling from beginning to end that we’re being given something that we were missing in the old franchise. There’s depth, psychology, warmth, heart, subtext, and so much amazing storytelling, all of which lacked for the better part of the first “Batman” franchise.