I never read an issue of the actual comic this was based on, but judging by this often times ridiculous and stupid piece of popcorn numb skullery, the comic can’t be that good. This is the type of stuff that would appeal to a fourteen year old boy, the type of film that unfortunately plays more like a “Power Rangers” episode than an actual comic book movie with an awful fight sequence in the opening amidst a backdrop of a bad CGI forest in which Chow Yun Fat, our hero, and his master fight along a bridge as a young boy looks on. The young boy, by the way, is shown quite often, but disappears later on in the movie to play no role whatsoever, but I digress. This is one of those films with one of those odd realities in which everyone, everyone knows Kung Fu! Even the German soldier villains. I don’t know it. I can handle myself well, but I don’t know kung fu, but alas, if I lived in this reality I’d know it automatically. If only, eh?
Tag Archives: Adventure
Battle Royale (Batoru rowaiaru) (2000)
I’d heard about “Battle Royale” in the underground film circuit, and this Japanese thriller has become an instant cult classic amidst the masses of true movie fans. Violent, disturbing, and controversial, this is one hard to find movie, but it’s worth it once you find it. You can’t get it at a chain store. Adapted from the novel written by Koushon Takami, In the not too distant future, kids basically rule over the adults, terrorizing them and banding together to rebel against them. One day on a field trip, a group of students, oblivious to what is happening, awake in a classroom, when their teacher who quit after being cut by one of them appears. Confused and frightened, they’re surrounded by armed guards and soldiers and discover they’re being trapped in a game. The game is really a secret law that has 42 students captured and collared and they’re pitted against one another on an island where they must kill one another in three days.
Van Helsing (2004)
How do you ruin four of the most timeless, scariest, and three-dimensional horror characters in history? Well, if you’re Stephen Sommers you put them in a special effects-laden piece of trash like this, and then make like a politician and cop -out insisting you’re a fan of these monsters, just to cover your bases and prevent criticism for directing and overseeing this chunk of cinematic sacrilege. The best about the opening of “Van Helsing” in theaters, you ask? Their releases of Universal’s monster classics in boxed sets. Maybe it was sub-conscious guilt on part of Universal for ruining their characters. Van Helsing, my favorite literary hero of all time is resurrected for the hundredth time around ala Bruckheimer motif in this franchise wannabe called “Van Helsing”.
Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)
The Looney tunes are still funny and “Back in Action” has that sparkle of what made the Looney tunes hours of fun. Right away, we do get a glimpse of the tunes during a brief skit in which Bugs and Daffy interact in their Duck Season Rabbit Season routine, not to mention we get a lot of fun cameos. While the plot has been done before it sure is a lot of fun to see an interesting Looney Tunes movie that not only has fun but really points out a lot of great pop culture references.
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)
Roland Emmerich can pretend “The Day After Tomorrow” is more than a movie but also an attempt to show the government what may happen and all that jazz, but in the end it’s really just a creepy science fiction tale with a lot of special effects and that’s all, not to mention it’s really good popcorn cinema. If one went to the theaters during its run for a good time, they may have gotten just that, because I had a good time. In “The Day After Tomorrow”, Emmerich this time focuses on the apocalypse through an array of characters as is always the formula with him. Jake Gyllenhaal takes a leap into the mainstream as Sam Hall, a high school student coming to New York with his two friends to compete in a school competition; Sam isn’t close with his father Jack because he’s barely ever around due to his scientific work, but Jack, while in the Antarctic discovers a massive decrease in polar ice caps melting and discovers that the worlds temperatures are dropping thus causing cataclysmic results and will bring the world to a new ice age.
Hellboy (2004)
Prolific director Guillermo Del Toro who penned the previous comic film “Blade 2” and the cult psychological horror film “The Devil’s Backbone” gives some competent direction in this adaptation of the hit comic book. A young agent John T. Meyers is recruited into the ranks of Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense Facility, he’s signed on to mentor their primary weapon of choice. Given a tour of the facilities gazing on to Abe Sapien a very intelligent reptilian sea creature, he’s assigned to take care of Hellboy. Discovered as a child during World War 2 during a raid on the Nazis, he was summoned to Earth to become the evil Rasputin’s child and eventual ruler of Earth, but when US soldiers discovered him, professor Broom took him in to reform him and he became Earth’s greatest protector using his powers for evil to protect humanity.
The Hunted (2003)
Tommy Lee Jones plays Lt. Bonham, an ex agent who is now a guard for a nature society tracking animals and stopping poachers and illegal hunters. After two hunters are found gutted, Bonham is called back into duty by an old colleague who needs his help to track the killer, Aaron Hallman, an ex-agent who has begun killing hunters in the forest, brutally gutting them without mercy. Bonham instantly goes into action and begins tracking Hallman making way for a really cool fight scene at the top of the film as the two duke it out in the forest. Director Friedkin manages to direct a very dark and interesting thriller with some good camera work and smooth editing, plus he knows how to create tension and surprises.