Roseanne: The Complete Seventh Season (DVD)

Number Seven is one of the weaker seasons of “Roseanne” since most of the season basically focuses on the less interesting characters and places a great emphasis on the endlessly irritating romance between Darlene and David. For a good portion of season seven, actress Sara Gilbert spent time acting in theater and going to college, so she’s pretty much a non-presence for a quarter of season seven, while the writers miss the boat by focusing more on Chalke’s Becky, choosing to turn her in to a mere side character who appears periodically. Instead, the writers make the misguided choice of placing a good focus on the storylines on DJ’s life.

As well as the relationship between David and Mark. The two characters garner much dysfunction and have a troubled life filled with resentment and hatred, but their arc is pointless and incredibly boring. This is time that should be filled devoted to developing Becky and Darlene, and instead there’s just a deeper and strong look at the dynamic between brothers Mark and David. To add more confusion to the mix, there’s the stunt casting of Traci Lords, who appears for a number of episodes as a walking talking plot device and disappears once the show gets back in motion with Sara Gilbert and Sarah Chalke coming back as the characters they originally played.

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Army of Darkness (1992)

xHU2TXQWhen last we saw Ash Williams in “Evil Dead II,” he was at the butt hole end of a massive portal to hell and could do nothing but hope and pray for the best. In spite of battling the demonic menace in his deserted cabin in the woods for the second time, he unfortunately could only hope the demonic menace within this wormhole would display mercy on him. Or at least let its guard down long enough to allow Ash an escape. Little did he know he’d land in 1300 AD among a culture of people desperately in need of a savior.

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Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987)

The sequel to “The Evil Dead” is once again what happens when Sam Raimi has little and can do so much with it. As director, Raimi finds new ways to enthrall the viewer and add a new appendage to the “Evil Dead” series without ruining the former film. “Dead by Dawn” acts as a sequel and a pseudo-remake, that recaps the original film in a brevity, and then proceeds to follow along with the journey of Ash Williams. Becoming the accidental hero in many ways, Ash is a man tasked with fighting the demonic beings of the necronomicon, not because he chooses to, but because he simply can’t escape their grasp.

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That Thing You Do! (1996)

It’s strange. Even with the involvement of the ever charming Tom Hanks as the director and writer, and a film that features him as a prominent supporting character amidst a slew of up and coming young stars (including Charlize Theron), “That Thing You Do!” is still just an average movie. It’s simply nineties mediocrity. It’s never a remarkable musical comedy, nor is it abysmal. It’s merely a movie you watch and never plan to re-visit again unless you’re absolutely bored.

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The Sandlot (1993)

If you’re going to crib from Stephen King’s “Stand By Me,” then you’d better do a good job of re-tooling it. Thankfully, and miraculously, David M. Evans directs one of the best coming of age dramedies in cinematic history. “The Sandlot” is a film that takes the “Stand By Me” premise and adds a baseball-centric theme to the story that becomes the crux of everything the film is built on. It’s the reason characters are able to connect, it saves characters from immediate danger, and it’s the macguffin for the entire movie. “The Sandlot” thankfully doesn’t shove the baseball Americana themes down the audiences throat, but instead focuses on the characters featured in the film as actual characters with complexities and flaws that decide whether they succeed or not.

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Tank Girl (1995)

tank_girl_picYeah, this is why studios didn’t take comic book movie seriously for a very long time. “Tank Girl” is god awful. I’m aware her comic is very popular, and Tank Girl the character is considered something of a feminist icon of a sorts, but “Tank Girl” is swill. It’s bottom feeding swill. It tries to exude this sense of hipness and edge, but instead feels like it doesn’t take the material seriously. Lori Petty (who has the charm of a spastic Ritalin addict) attempts to play the sexually ambiguous Tank Girl as tongue in cheek but she just comes off as a clown who has no grasp on the material.

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Skyscraper (1996)

It’s hard to believe, but at one time someone thought turning models and porn stars in to action heroines was a good idea. Tracie Lords, Shannon Tweed, Pamela Anderson. All gorgeous women in their own B movie straight to video fare that never panned out beyond B movie straight to video fare. The worst of all has to be someone’s shocking brainstorm that perhaps the plus size dumb as a post model Anna Nicole Smith could somehow become something of a cult action movie star.  It’s bad enough Smith could barely pose for a photo shoot without looking forced, but making her act? Could she even walk and talk at the same time?

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