Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet (2005)

bgodpI have a thing for Misty Mundae. She has a cute perky little body and a ghetto booty you can just sleep in for days. She has a gorgeous face that doesn’t require too much make-up and she can pull off ridiculous comedy. And if you saw her in “Masters of Horror,” she’s not a bad actress. But most of her career has been spent making some of the worst movies of all time, the lowest common denominator entertainment titles involving zombies, and monsters, all of which are so bottom of the barrel, they’re practically non-existent. “Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet” is one of those awful movies. Clocking in at barely an hour, this horrible softcore porn is basically an excuse to show display mild girl on girl.

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Troll (1986)

TROLLI remember the moment in “Best Worst Movie” where one of the stars of “Troll 2” are looking at a DVD box of “Troll” and “Troll 2” at a video store, and the clerk explains that the movie meant for the bad movie section of the shop is “Troll 2.” After finally watching “Troll” I can safely say that this absolutely unbearable film should also be in the same category as the film that ventured in to the town of Nilbog. Harry Potter and his family have just moved in to a mysterious apartment complex directly near a small wooded area. Upon discovering their surroundings, irritating little sister Wendy entering the basement, she’s captured by a troll, and the monster takes on her form. Rather than playing it cool and sneaking about the apartment building, the troll of course begins wreaking havoc acting like a hyperactive child for reasons never actually explained, and biding its time by venturing around the building making mischief.

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The Taint (2010)

After reading the press materials for Dan Nelson and Drew Bolduc’s “The Taint,” I expected almost anything to happen while watching it. And that’s pretty much what I was given when watching “The Taint.” Just about anything and everything that you can imagine happened. And some things you were too afraid to imagine happened. It’s almost impossible to describe the film that was made by directors Dan Nelson and Drew Bolduc, but it’s an experience that no one will forget after watching it. And surely enough it has Troma written all over it. It’s compelling while also entertaining. It’s trashy but it’s clever. And it’s completely abundantly moronic, but also has a wit to it that makes it entertaining.

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The Human Sexipede (First Sequence: A Porn Parody) (2010)

The-Human-SexipedeIf the pretentious shit drizzle torture porn of 2010 entitled “The Human Centipede” entertained you, or if it just made you roll your eyes at the bloated hype, then “The Human Sexipede” may just be right up your alley. “The Human Sexipede” works more as a spoof of the Tom Six film than it does a hardcore porn, and right from the get go its intent is to make us laugh. I found myself giggling through most of the parody, especially with Sunny Lane and Amber Rayne delivering dialogue that’s nothing but clunky foreshadowing. The basic premise of this version is that both American tourists are incapable of achieving sexual satisfaction. After a quick girl on girl romp involving anal probing with vibrators, and 69ing, the girls find the evil Dr. Heiter online through a personal ad where Heiter insists he likes to party.

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Going the Distance (2010) [DVD/Blu-Ray Combo]

going-the-distance.jpg-w=64Much like Drew Barrymore, “Going the Distance” is so intent on being cutesy and bubbly that it’s nauseating, and what contributes to Nanette Burstein’s romance comedy being utterly insufferable is its insistence on being two types of movies. It wants so hard to be thought of as a sleazy comedy with incessant and tedious improvisations from every single actor who gets more than a minute on-screen. It also wants to be a cutesy chick flick about a lovely geeky guy and an ambitious young girl who try to keep their romance sweltering over a long distance. And none of it works. Were it not for writer Geoff LaTulippe’s insistence on attempting to please both audiences and entertaining neither.

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There's Nothing Out There (Two-Disc 20th Anniversary Edition) (1990) (DVD)

91tJubJ-tKL._SL1500_From Troma comes the twentieth anniversary release of “There’s Nothing Out There!” a film I’d admittedly never heard of and was most surprised to see that not only was “There’s Nothing Out there!” something of a fun early nineties horror comedy, but one that was a self-aware jab at the genre long before “Scream” ever convinced audiences it did it first. “There’s Nothing Out There!” is about a bunch of high schoolers who out in to the woods for Spring break to party, drink, and bone each other senselessly. Around the same time as their arrival, an alien being has just crash landed in to Earth, and is now lurking in the woods. Is it out there? Where is it if it is out there? Why is it not in there with them?

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I Love You, Man (2009)

tumblr_lnkf4lhOGI1qzzh6g“Why does everything I do sound like a leprechaun?”

Many films since the rise of Judd Apatow have claimed to be a bromance. Particularly “Superbad.” A bromance of course being a film about the close relationship between men that involves some degree of deep love without progressing in to homosexual activity. But “I Love You Man” may just be the first true bromance that has a central plot based around the deep friendship and admiration of two men while the romance of the main character is something of a secondary element. “I Love You Man” is in its truest form a romantic comedy about two heterosexual men who realize that they love one another.

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