Pie Tins & String: Celebrating "Plan Nine"

“My friend, can your heart stand the shocking facts of grave robbers from outer space?”

In some plane, I can see why Ed Wood would turn to Criswell for advice on the future. The man is so insane and incoherent and yet so stern in his predictions that he’d naturally be deemed something of a deity or messiah to someone as nutty and eccentric as Edward D. Wood Jr. In fact if I could meet someone alive or dead, I think I’d love to sit down with Criswell and pick his brain while munching on some acid, because I think my head is doomed to explode from the utter inanity and absurd circular logic this man will inevitably spew for hours on end if given the opportunity.

For many, the most infamous and most attractive aspect of “Plan Nine” is Criswell, an element of a science fiction movie so unnecessary it’s astounding to sit and watch. Criswell serves no purpose to the overall narrative of “Plan Nine” beyond narration, and even then there’s really no need to explain everything before our eyes.

Continue reading

Our Top Ten "Treehouse of Horror" Episodes!

Treehouse_of_HorrorIn spite of what you may think of the current state of “The Simpsons,” the fact remains that the show is a dynasty and the annual “Treehouse of Horror” episodes however bland or mediocre they have become are a tradition and one that garners good ratings for FOX every year. “Treehouse of Horror” began as a little nod to Halloween with spoofs of The Twilight Zone and classic urban legends and soon rocketed in to something of an event for the entire crew of The Simpsons to satirize and poke fun at classic horror movies to great episodes of The Twilight Zone. Zombies, King Kong, Robots, Monkeys Paws, Aliens, Witches, Frankenstein, haunted houses, nothing was off the table, and this allowed the creators of the series to throw a party every year for us horror fans to show us what they can do when they rode off the rails of the storyline and allowed for some fun to be had and blood to be shed.

Though none of the new installments have actual tree houses, the origin of the yearly gimmick began with “Treehouse of Horror” where Homer, deciding to scare Bart and Lisa, begins listening in on separate horror stories told by Bart and Lisa in a treehouse, both of whom tell the scariest stories they can think of in an attempt to scare each other. What begins as mocking laughter soon transformed in to Homer going back to bed that night realizing he couldn’t quite go back to sleep thanks to the effectiveness of a good horror story, properly told by two little children with a lot of imagination. While none of them are at all really disturbed by one another, Homer has learned that a good horror story can do wonders for inducing insomnia. Horror is best when imagination is at play, and “Treehouse of Horror” took what was a one and done little nod to Halloween and turned it in to its very own gimmick going balls to the wall every year devising some of the best moments in the series barnone.

Here are ten of our favorite moments from “Treehouse of Horror,” episodes brilliant, hilarious, and just plain memorable.

Continue reading

Zombie Girl: The Movie (DVD)

32GLTGEJustin Johnson, Aaron Marshall, and Erik Mauck’s 2009 documentary from R Squared is probably one of the most simplistic stories ever told but also proves to be fodder for one of the best independent documentaries I’ve ever seen, a film about an enthusiastic little girl who loves movies and is doing everything in her power to make a zombie film, the film community of critics and movie buffs that embrace her for her enthusiasm, her mom willing to do whatever it takes to feed her daughter’s ambition–as long as she goes to school, and the movie that became a cult classic in its own right because of its charming production qualities and overall creativity.

Continue reading

Halloweentown High (2004)

While “Halloweentown High” really isn’t the most subtle of films with monsters and knights acting as symbolism for civil rights, it does excel in fully realizing the character of Marnie who is no longer a student and now just a matriarch of other students looking to make their way in to the human world. Kimberly J. Brown is as good and charming as ever in the role of heroine Marnie who takes it upon herself to play civil rights leader by insisting some of the monsters from Halloweentown should be allowed to go to human school for the sake of diversity and equality. The catch is by Halloween if she hasn’t made progress, her powers will be stripped away. This allows for a more open forum for new characters, all of whom have their own likable traits and quirks. One if a goblin, another is a werewolf, another a wood nymph, and so on. Marnie plays more of a protector this time watching over the new exchange students, and falling for a new guy named Cody.

Continue reading

Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge (2001)

While 1998’s “Halloweentown” was a very cute and entertaining little Halloween movie, the sequel “Kalabar’s Revenge” is much darker and slightly more adult in tone and atmosphere this time around. What’s interesting is you can sense the seeds for “The Witches of Waverly Place” within this sequel, and it’s not a far off prospect that what with Kimberly J. Brown getting older with each movie, Disney wanted to pass the wand over with a new franchise about magic and wizards.

Continue reading

Killer Cup 2: The Killer Cups Strike Back! (2004)

killercup2Oh god! They made a sequel! And it’s longer this time! A group of young people are going on a camping trip and have taken along the bare essentials like food, water, and styrofoam cups! The foreshadowing here is about as clunky as you’d expect with one of the characters making a point of declaring how big one of the cups are. Apparently it’s the master cup or chief general cup. In either case, what begins as a night of drinking and joking around (one of the campers even pretends to be bitten by the cup in a high-larious “gotcha” moment), soon all of the cups band together to strike back at the partiers and inflict carnage upon them.

Continue reading

Killer Cup (2002)

killercup“Killer Cup” is about killer cups! What? You were expecting more? Alright fine! A.Normale’s short horror film entitled “Killer Cup” is pretty much a situation about what you see being what you get. Set to an obviously not copyrighted score by Rob Zombie, “Killer Cup” sets down at any school in the world where we view the plight of the Styrofoam cups used for tearing, smoker’s ashes, sunflower seeds and the like. Clearly, this is Michael Moore’s prologue to an upcoming environmental documentary right?

Continue reading