Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)

talladeganights_magic_manBobby is a boy who dreams of becoming a racer, and when he finally gets the chance, he becomes one of the most popular racers in the industry. That is until he has a break down after a crash and now must rebuild what was taken away from him. Ferrell’s foray into adult comedy once again is a weak and mediocre one, and for every one hilarious joke that “Talladega Nights” hits with audiences, there are about four or five that really fail to be as funny as it could be. McKay’s film is too aware of itself, and instead of playing it deadpan while delivering the gags and jokes, it desperately tries to gauge laughs from the audience, including every such nuance and quirk it can just to assure itself that we’ll laugh.

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Not Until You Dance (2005)

nuydBeing a best man is hard enough, but having to subdue to the duties required of you be they tedious or ridiculous is the part of the job that really makes it an unappealing aspect. Bored by his best friends wedding, a young dog is told he can’t leave the wedding until he can dance.

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Snakes on a Plane (2006)

snakes-on-a-plane-2006Samuel L. Jackson has just bought himself a heaping helpful of infamy and prestige shamelessly bragging about and spearheading one of the most ludicrous ad campaigns ever enlisted for such a ridiculous movie. I admit I was one of the many who thought the hype, jokes, spoofs, et al were all overblown for what could have been a mediocre big budget crap fest. But you know what? When all was said and done, I’d rather have a fun ridiculous original film, then another remake of a childhood classic. And that’s what invariably won me over on “Snakes on a Plane”.

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Kisses and Caroms: Uncensored Director's Cut (2006)

kissesandcaromsThis is the day in the life, the day in the life of some clerks. These clerks work at a local store which never gets much business yet they still manage to experience many crazy customers and have stories to tell. No, this isn’t a Kevin Smith movie, but “Kisses and Caroms” really wishes it were. I like the fact that people tend to think every profession sports a slew of assorted characters and various nuts, but that’s just not life; life is not filled with nuts and outlandish weirdo’s who trot in and out to give you a hard time. Thanks a lot Kevin Smith, you prick. So instead of a video and convenience store we instead focus on a group of clerks who work at a billiard store.

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Lady in the Water (2006)

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M. Night Shyamalan is nothing if not ambitious; I mean he creates films like a child seeking to spin his own stories in his own universe that could form a canon for aspiring filmmakers to launch from, and his vision gets in the way of his film and his fairy tale spins on its own while the film struggles to keep up. I enjoyed most of the fairy tale Shyamalan invents here involving a creature that can camouflage as grass, a mermaid, a giant eagle, and monkeys. If you’re wondering about his famous and infamous surprise ending, there isn’t one. There’s just one plot twist that’s interesting, and that’s all, so I won’t ruin much here. Continue reading →

John Tucker Must Die (2006)

Dear Brittany Snow,

I love you. And I want you to know it. I’ve loved you since “American Dreams”, and have ever since. I’d gladly listen to a continuous loop of “Secret Lover” as sung by Kevin Federline, and William Hung just to have the chance to eat grapes off of your ass crack and confess my unrequited love to thee while you parade yourself in the red silk lingerie you’re featured in midway. Yes, this is true. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. You say creepy, but I say lovelorn. I’m only human, damn it!

And we’re back.

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Monster House (2006)

MV5BMTQyNzM3MTYyMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMjYyOTY2._V1_SX640_SY720_It’s amazing what great voice acting, engaging characters, and wonderful animation can do for a film, isn’t it? When all is said and done “Monster House” is enough of a horror film to please the open-minded horror fan, and enough of a children’s film to keep them utterly entertained. I admit to writing off “Monster House” upon its arrival, only because while the film is wonderful, the story isn’t exactly original (ahem—Robert Wise’s “The Haunting”, anyone?), but the combination of a strong script, and truly down to Earth characters make “Monster House” a short but very entertaining piece of horror fantasy that reaches down into really human themes of loneliness, death, and puberty. What many will enjoy about this film is that it’s very much in the spirit of classics like “The Monster Squad” and “The Goonies”, in which we have a small group of kids whom are also outcasts that have to take on a giant obstacle when no one will stand in and help them out.

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