Out of all the films out there “The Hitcher” wouldn’t be my first choice for a sequel, as a matter of fact, there’s not really a need for sequels these days, yet Hollywood continues to pull them out despite big budget or small budget as is revealed in this inferior straight to video sequel to the eerie chiller from 1986. It’s hard to set up a story for a sequel that wasn’t really necessary; we have B queen Kari Wuhrer as C. Thomas Howell’s girlfriend Maggie, Howell’s character Jim from the original film is now grown-up and sports a bad five ‘o clock shadow and a scratchy deep voice to better accentuate his manly persona, Kari Wuhrer plays the inept girlfriend to Howell’s Jim whom is never truly informed on Jim’s horrible past, but urges him to seek professional help… why would she suggest he get personal help when she doesn’t know what happened to him?
Tag Archives: H
Hey Arnold! The Movie (2002)
I’m a fan of the “Hey Arnold!” television animated series. I grew up with it. It’s one of Nickelodeon’s banner television shows about growing up. Sadly, what we see in “the movie,” is just a glorified three part TV special that’s mashed in to a movie. And it’s a god awful closer for such a great show. What the animated series thrived on was the large cast of magnetic characters from the neighborhood, but this fails to bring anything truly magnetic to audiences to watch. “Hey Arnold! The Movie” is a half-assed effort that does no justice all around to a truly entertaining cartoon. What many of the executives at Nickelodeon do with their products when making them into feature films is completely take away what made the cartoon so likable to begin with.
The Hot Chick (2002)
What makes Rob Schneider’s movies so bad, (among many other million defects) is that Schneider is basically unlikable and incredibly obnoxious, and when he pretends to be a girl stuck in a man’s body, it’s just plain creepy. Not only that, but he’s such a horrible actor in both comedic form and dramatic form; much of that can be seen when he pretends to be the female Jessica played by Rachel McAdams and pretty much makes no effort in copying her exact mannerisms or body characteristics. In “Face/Off”, Travolta and Cage studied each other’s facial expressions, mannerisms, and even their modes of speech which made the film mostly tolerable, but in this Schneider simply acts homosexual more than a woman.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
Based on the record-breaking bestselling series of children’s books, Harry Potter lives with his annoying family once more and is visited by a house elf called Dobby (voiced by Toby Jones) who warns Harry not to return to Hogwarts because of ensuing danger; Harry does not heed his warnings and returns once more to discover a dark force sabotaging the beloved members of the school’s faculty and freezing its victims to stone. Now Harry and Ronald must discover the source before it’s too late.
Half Past Dead (2002)
This is like the action masterpiece “The Rock”, except for the fact that “The Rock” was original, and this is just as awful as anything I’ve ever seen. After being busted in a car theft ring, two gangster friends Nick (rapper Ja Rule) and Sasha (Steven Seagal) are jailed in New Alcatraz prison where mercenaries break in and storm the prison to hold a prisoner ransom who knows the location of a secret stash of over two hundred million dollars in gold. Now they must team up with other prisoners and beat the mercenaries before they kill everyone. I got the sense this is supposed to be a futuristic film, but there’s never truly verification. The prison is re-opened due to overcrowding and it’s supposedly advanced but shockingly stone age. The prison is supposed to be state of the art and advanced but there’s a shockingly low head count when it comes to prisoners (I counted twenty-five).
House of the Dead (2003)
After the (literally) seven minute long opening to “House of the dead”, I was almost sure this would suck as I instantly lost patience with this frenzied film; man, I should learn to listen to my instincts more. I sat in the theatres watching and squirming in my seat because I had to use the bathroom, and had pre-determined I would hold it until the movie ended (not wanting to miss out). After about ten minutes in, to the bathroom I went. What’s sad is that this is not only a bad movie, but a bad zombie movie with a lot of potential to it. With a plot off of “Zombie” and “Resident Evil”, the movie had a lot of chances to become innovative and creative yet Uwe Boll takes no chances and goes by the book.
Hulk (2003)
Based on one of the most popular and beloved characters in Marvel Comics, we meet Bruce Banner, a timid and shy scientist who performs experiments on animals using Gamma radiation. An accident in his lab causes the gamma radiation to explode and exposes Bruce to a lethal dose. To the surprise of his girlfriend Betty Ross, he is fine but soon discovers that his suppressed rage, when released, unleashes an incredible large green beast known to him as “The Hulk”. An evil military scientist named Talbot wants the hulk to extract his DNA and create a race of super soldiers. All the while general Ross wants him dead at all costs. Now, Banner must confront his horrible past and come to grips with his curse all the while clashing with his psychotic father David who wants to use the hulk for his own benefit.