Rule number one: Casting one of the most irritating actors of all time in a sequel to one of my favorite movies of all time is not a wise move, and is right earning of an old fashioned smack down. The newest craperrific sequel to one of the best films I’ve ever seen earns itself a place in my shit list casting Eddie Furlong as the hero. Furlong is just not hero material, and that’s one of the many mistakes of “Wicked Prayer”. It’s bad enough everyone here looks bored as hell, but Furlong’s character Jimmy Cuervo is a boring man who has no characterization.
Tag Archives: Horror
Suburban Sasquatch (2005)
I don’t care if you’re independent or big budget, all-star or aspiring actor, first time director or veteran director, comedy is hard, it’s very hard, and more often than not, chances are you’re just not going to ace a comedy film. “Suburban Sasquatch” misses the target in every conceivable manner, because it’s never coherent or fluid. It never follows a coherent storyline, and even the worst of horror comedies make sense. Not a lick of what’s here makes the slightest bit of sense. “Suburban Sasquatch” really has a lot going for it, but never delivers in what it promises. The dialogue is inaudible, the characters are boring, and the plot rarely ever holds together.
Serial Killing 4 Dummys (Serial Killing 101) (2004)
This is just one of those movies that are so bad, they’re just damn good. The quality, filming locations, bad acting, and nonsensical story all pretty much made for a film that shouldn’t be taken too seriously by the audience and should be approached with an open mind. It’s pretty obvious that the makers attempted to make a real slasher, but then, halfway, decided to just make a satire, which is why this has two movie syndrome, where one half of the film feels so different from the second half. What starts off feeling like another slasher film inevitably becomes a cheesy, campy, dark comedy about killing.
Frankenstein's Bloody Nightmare (2006)
“Frankenstein’s Bloody Nightmare” basically has its head on tight with intentions of being both experimental and surreal, and in many respects, Director Hand knows how to convey both a nightmarish and surrealist theme with a hazy picture that drifts from plain and sterile to multi-colored and intense. Hand’s film has a very noticeable Lynchian feel as yet another take on the Doctor Frankenstein character. Hand’s film is a pure mixture of sixties psychedelic grind house exploring the sheer utter madness behind a man seeking to help his wife.
Final Destination 3 (2006)
Not surprisingly enough, the whole “Final Destination” franchise has become like a carnival ride, too. You get on, you sit down, and watch the magic happen, and then watch people die in the most gruesome fashions imaginable, and then you shut it off and somehow feel content with your exercise in sadism. Death once again proves to his master that he’s kind of a moron, because every film involves someone guessing his tricks as he causes a death like a game of “Mouse Trap” personally created by Rube Goldberg at his most sadistic.
Rottweiler (2004)
Why even call this “Rottweiler”? That’s what I’m interested in discovering. What’s the point? I’m confused as to why the director and screenwriter and Lions Gate Films felt it necessary to call this film “Rottweiler” when we only ever see the actual eponymous robo-mutt every so often. Instead of featuring the same old laboratory creature gone wild plot, “Rottweiler” instead focuses on a chain gang that breaks out of a prison. The lone fugitive named Dante is on the run from the robotic Rottweiler which happens to be cannibalistic, vicious and has one objective: to tear the on the lam fugitive a new one.
The Beast of Bray Road (2005)
At the start of “Beast”, a young bar patron drifts away from her friends after closing hours and is stalked and mauled to death by a werewolf. The beast grabs her, tears her apart, and howls into the sky. I enjoyed that. But, for no other reason I can imagine but to piss me the hell off, director Scott feels that even though we had that good opening signaling grand things, we could have done without it for another thirty or forty minutes, which in common sense land is a large portion of a film that doesn’t even hit the two hour mark, and that makes zero sense.