Frankenstein vs. the Creature from Blood Cove (2005)

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What I always enjoy is the schlock brought upon us by new directors that take it upon themselves to carve their own pastiche with films that both spoof yet pay respect to the films of old that audiences are no longer interested in. What William Winckler does or tries his hardest in doing is both spoofing the classic horror film while paying his own homage telling this story that is both simple but entertaining. “Blood Cove” is often cheesy and goofy, but that’s the intent, its low tech in many respects with the creature’s monster suit and the Frankenstein make-up.

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Masters of Horror: Dreams in the Witch House

Perhaps I set myself up for this, perhaps the first episode just had me on this orgasmic euphoric high only set to be lowered by anything. Director Stuart Gordon of “Re-Animator” takes center stage this time in the second episode of the series with an entertaining albeit disappointing installment based on HP Lovecraft’s story of the same name. I’ve never read a story from Lovecraft, but I know he’s an immense influence for many horror masters that borrow the elements from his story for their own. Gordon manages to create a very entertaining installment for Masters of Horror that’s sometimes surreal, many times whimsical and all times filled with dread.

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Alien 51 (2004)

alien-51-vhs-front2[In reference to our main character Cleo]
Randy: Does she seem a little off to you?
Officer: She’s hot, Randy. She can be as off as she wants.

It’s a pretty safe bet that “Alien 51” is quite possibly one of the worst science fiction monster movies I’ve ever seen. I challenge you to find something else so creatively impotent, so utterly derivative, and so nonsensical as the movie I spent ninety minutes drudging and fast-forwarding through. Nothing in this film makes the slightest lick of sense, and it’s clear that either the script was horribly done, or the directors lost so much money, they literally spent the second half simply winging it, coming up with a remaining plot that is so stupid. You know a movie is desperate when it’s biggest star is Heidi Fleiss, you know a movie is desperate when it boasts “Starring Heidi Fleiss”, and you know a movie is desperate when its big attempted draw-in was a has been model who appears as a mustache twirling villainess.

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Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed (2004)

I recently re-watched the slowly growing classic “Ginger Snaps” and while the re-watch quality hasn’t been kind to it, it’s still a damn good werewolf film. What “Ginger Snaps 2” does is offer a much different approach to the story which may or may not bode well with audiences. You can say whatever you want about this sequel, but in the end you can’t call it repetitive or prosaic. It’s a completely different sort of concept and narrative yet manages to extend the story from the first which is what a sequel should be. One of my many ever recurring complaints about film is that sequels always tend to repeat the first film instead of extend or add on to the original story told, and “Ginger Snaps 2” doesn’t fall prey to that trap. In the end, it’s ultimately not better than the first film, or even the sub-par final film, but it still ends up being an engrossing piece of werewolf fodder that adds to the mythos and does away with the werewolf/period allegory and presents a more upfront premise.

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Masters of Horror: Incident on and off Mountain Road

The pilot episode of “Masters of Horror” pretty much brings to the table what I was expecting. Gore, good acting, and plot twists. and it’s just what I got, thank god. The story, compacted within a fifty minute window, is smart enough and well written enough that it doesn’t feel rushed. The plot for the pilot is simple enough to be squeezed in to a small segment, yet manages to give us enough character depth and subtext we would desire. Not to mention some brutally gruesome images of torture that make the viewing all worth it. Bree Turner (I think I’m in love) gives a good performance as Ellen, a young woman who crashes in to a deserted car in the middle of a road.

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Night Watch (Nochnoy Dozor) (2004)

night-watch-02And then when they said there’s no more original ideas, out comes “Nochnoy Dozor”. If you’re unfamiliar, “Nochnoy Dozor”–or “The Nightwatch”– it is a Russian fantasy epic, the first of a planned trilogy that just finished smashing box office records in Russia becoming the highest grossing film of all time there beating out “Spider-Man 2”.  Though it’s not as if Russia is a Mecca for light-hearted epics, “The Nightwatch” has made quite an impact there, and will soon be released and then remade here in the US. Before the Hollywood butcher shop decided to hack their way in to a crappy remake, I decided to grab a hold of the original film, and I wasn’t disappointed.

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The Batman vs. Dracula (2005)

“The Batman” is one of the only series featuring Batman that hasn’t been animated by the well known and widely accepted form of Bruce Timm’s design, and as a series it’s always been a very poor successor in simple fact that it’s only basically been invented to cash in on “Batman Begins”. The series was created and rushed in to premiere showing on the WB network months before “Batman Begins”. The series as a whole is terrible; it’s bland, lifeless, and often uneventful. “The Batman vs. Dracula” is the first animated film from the Batman franchise that didn’t feature artwork from Bruce Timm et al. But this isn’t the first time Batman and Dracula have crossed paths, any respectable comic fan knows that Batman and Dracula are pure rivals, and this makes the distinct hinting that this is the first time they’ve ever crossed paths.

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