Jackie Chan seems often bored and detached from this film, never giving the charisma he displays in his movies. It dawned upon me that he might be aging or running out of ideas as he starts using wires to help with most of his stunts. We open with him attempting to ask a sexy art dealer on a date and ultimately screw it up. I found it hard to believe that an art dealer would go out with a creepy stuttering taxi driver, so I wasn’t surprised when she rejected him like a bad habit.
“Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” sways the general public into thinking this is a sort of “Spy vs. Spy” film, but it’s not. It’s not “Ecks vs. Sever”, it’s “Ecks fights Sever for a while and then they become allies when they discover they’re fighting for the same cause”. But that would be a stupid long title, not like “Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever” which is… never mind. The film is chock full of clichés, meaningless violence, lapses in pure logic and plausibility, little to no character emphases, and plot holes galore. Antonio Banderas’ character Jeremiah Ecks is a mix of many, many tired and generic hero elements from previous action movies starring Sylvester Stallone, Schwarzenegger, and a lot of other people.
Two kids discover their supposedly uncool parents are famous secret spies. When the parents get caught by an evil genius, they must band together and rescue their parents. This is such a nice movie. Not for its action or acting, but for its simplicity. It makes so many attempts at being nonviolent even though there is a lot of martial-arts scenes, and no guns. James Bond would be proud of these kids. The two offspring of enemy secret spies turned lovers obtain the elements of being a spy, though they don’t know it yet. Alexa Vega’s character is the oldest sister and contains the physical abilities and ferocity of a spy, and Daryl Sabara’s character obtains the mental and technological abilities it takes to be a spy.
We meet Blade again, back from the original blockbuster hit from ’98 and he’s still kicking undead ass as much as ever, except now he’s in Europe. In the movie, there are these new evolved vampires called “Reapers” on the loose that are stronger, faster, smarter, cooler, and a lot more scarier than regular vampires. The thing with this species is that they don’t only feed on humans but on vampires as well. Now, a group of trained vampires called the “Blood Pack” enlists blade in helping them eliminate the potential threat. But is there more to their offer than meets the eye?
Angelina Jolie. The woman who made this movie worth watching. My, how she is a hot woman, and she pulls off the role as Lara Croft well. In fact, she’s the best thing in this movie. She is great portraying the character of Lara Croft, giving off a great sense of beauty and grace while showing great boldness and ferocity in battle. But man, was this long awaited adaptation of the game disappointing. How do you have a pitch perfect actress play the role and then offer no rewards for fans that have been waiting for this for years? I can even forgive the fact that Jolie isn’t even British.
Jet Li is an incredible martial artist but so far he’s managed to disappoint me, as he uses wires and computers to enhance his scenes, which often becomes redundant and goofy. The only two movies that I’ve enjoyed from him so far are “Lethal Weapon 4” and “Kiss of the Dragon” which was possibly the best action movie I’ve seen in years. Li is solid in his role performing with finesse. He gives great personality switches throughout the film and kept me entertained throughout the entire story.
“Cats & Dogs” centers on the high-tech, top secret war being waged in neighborhoods everywhere that humans aren’t even aware of: an eternal struggle between the two great armies of Cats and Dogs. The story follows Cat Mr. Tinkles’ plan to destroy a new vaccine that, if developed, would destroy all human allergies to Dogs, and the Dogs’ efforts to stop the Cats from executing their plan with the help of their new recruit, the heroic Beagle, Lou.