Once upon a time, Kevin Smith decided that he liked “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World” so much that he’d copy the cliff notes and paste them on to a recycled fossil of his former glory in the shape of “Clerks” and build himself a brand spankin’ new cult classic. Instead what we get is a movie pandering to teens that is very obviously made by a fifty year old man if he were trying to write like Diablo Cody. I imagine Kevin Smith spent much of his time writing his screenplay for “Yoga Hosers” and promising to cast daughter Harley Quinn in it if she helped with the dialogue and much of the modern colloquialisms. Meanwhile he stuck to what he knew: which is stuff about convenience store clerks, and mocking Canada wholesale. There are shelves of maple syrup in the background, and boxes of cereal like “Cheeri-EHs.” Plus, our two main characters begin their work shift (almost in a subliminal apology to the audience) muttering in repetition “Sawrry Aboot That.”
Tag Archives: Monsters
Munchies (1987)
I’m shocked New Concorde wasn’t sued by Steven Spielberg, since “Munchies” is about the closest rip off of “Gremlins” I’ve ever seen. While previous wannabes were just copying the formula of mischievous and often dangerous monsters wreaking havoc, “Munchies” goes so far as to copy the aforementioned horror fantasy right down to the monsters, all of whom bear striking resemblances to the enigmatic gremlins. Aimed toward a younger audience, but sporting a lot of raunchy humor, “Munchies” is set in a small town where young aspiring comedian Paul and his archaeologist father Cecil (Harvey Korman) find a small monster in a cave. Convinced it’s an alien of a sort, they take the friendly monster home and decide to make it their pet.
Critters 2: The Main Course (1988)
With the original “Critters,” the producers adhered to a certain kind of formula that made the monsters from space seem like twisted cousins of “E.T.” With “The Main Course,” director Mick Garris is able to go beyond the limits of the concept and widen the mythology of the Krites and their bounty hunters. What’s more, Garris is also able to get so much more creative than the first film, as well as offer a better variety of Krites, and how they’re capable of devouring humans when they crash land on Earth once more. One of the best moments of “Critters 2” involves the krites working together as a hive and forming a gigantic ball that goes rolling through town.
Critters (1986)
Stephen Herek’s “Critters” is a fun and gory horror science fiction film that knows exactly what kind of movie it is. It’s neat a mix of a monster movie and a tongue in cheek action sci-fi movie. As well it delights in doling out a lot of gruesome kills and fun nuggets of very light comedy that will arouse some chuckles, but never ruin the momentum of the movie. Up in the space in a prison space ship, the Krites have managed to escape their cells and are now on the run. They’ve taken hold of a ship of their own and are headed for Earth. The alien overlords hire two skilled bounty hunters with blank faces, urging them to find the krites before they reach Earth and wreak incomprehensible havoc on the population. With the bounty hunters on their tails, the Krites have crash land on a farm in the middle of a rural town in Kansas.
Hobgoblins (1988)
If you think you’ve seen the worst of the worst “Gremlins” knock offs, 1988’s “Hobgoblins” is the crème de la crème of the copycats. In the eighties, every single studio wanted their own “Gremlins” cash cow and very few were able to pull it off well. “Hobgoblins” seems to have absolutely no money to work with and tries to make out like a bandit with their own weak “Gremlins” wannabe. The problem is that “Gremlins,” despite the big budget, has competence, and depth, and magic, and an interesting mythology. Not to mention the monsters in the film do so much more than stand around cackling.
Lookouts (2016)
I’m very surprised by how great “Lookouts” ended up being, as often times fantasy films from independent directors never really change my idea about the genre in general. “Lookouts” is thankfully a very unique and heartfelt fantasy thriller centered on a young boy who has to grow up to become a man, and face down a monster that’s stolen almost everything in his life that he cherished. I think if “Lookouts” is ever financed as a major motion picture, we could have a wonderful epic on our hands. Based on the popular Penny Arcade comic series “May we Die in the Forest, directors David and Kristin Bousquet do a bang up job realizing a world that’s both awe inspiring and teeming with menace.
Child Eater (2016) [Brooklyn Horror Film Festival 2016]
Based on the 2012 short of the same name, Child Eater follows a babysitter as she watches the new kid in town in an old house that has a bad history. As she tries to sooth the boy she’s watching, he seems to be good to go to bed. He then decides to go exploring the nearby woods which contain a terrifying legend. Writer/director Erlingur Thoroddsen whose short this feature is based on takes his story of the boogeyman and expands it to a wider story. The creepy figure he creates is at first a looming figure, something that may or may not be real. However, clues abound to its existence and who or what it used to be before it started doing its evil deeds.