I love how studios assume that just because you stuff a moderately funny man like Ken Jeong in a hip moderately entertaining show like “Community,” you’re destined for comedic greatness. They thought they could work Jeong in for easy laughs in “Vampires Suck!” and they failed. And lo and behold he shows up in the first five minutes of “Big Momma’s” playing–what else–a crazy Asian man who happens to be a disgruntled postal worker. No one in “Big Momma’s” acts like an actual person you’d see on the street. No one would actually chase down and violently tussle with a mailman but hey, Martin Lawrence is grasping at straws in the final film series he really seems to be holding on to for dear life.
Tag Archives: Mystery
The Sinister Eyes Of Dr. Orloff (Los ojos siniestros del doctor Orloff) (1973)
Normally I’m a big fan of Jesus Franco’s work as they often border on the delightfully sadoerotic where reality and fantasy are often blurred and dissolve in to bouts of acid like dreams and flashbacks. “The Sinister Eyes of Dr. Orloff” is sadly one of the bigger bores from the Franco library and one that feels like a thirty minute premise stretched in to almost ninety minutes. Factor that in with a goofy villain relaying a hopelessly convoluted devious plot, and you have what is essentially just a glorified Spanish novella that is a take on Svengali.
The Puzzle (2008)
For what it intends to pull off, director Davide Melini’s short thriller is entertaining and bold in that it can tell a story in under five minutes and still feel complete and spooky. There isn’t a lot of explanation toward the puzzle or why the puzzle is so prophetic, but then I doubt the puzzle is supposed to be taken as a literal plot device. Instead it’s supposed to be more a metaphor for what the woman in this tale realized much too late. Besides, if we saw our fates, could we do anything about it? In our attempts to change fate would we instead just walk right in to it unwillingly?
Suicide Girls Must Die! (2010)
I think deep down Sawa Suicide just assumed that horror fans alike would universally embrace “Suicide Girls Must Die” for the simple fact that it’s a horror movie with a lot of hot girls from the actual website. Granted, I am a huge fan of the Suicide Girls (seriously, these women are insanely beautiful) but just because something is even slightly popular, it doesn’t mean it warrants a movie. And you can hide all of the flaws and cheese behind the fact that it’s a horror film, but even so. The fact that anyone assumed this would be even the least bit entertaining is beyond me and displays a bit of hubris in the notion that the Suicide Girls attachment would mean rave reviews.
F (2010)
I think in the end audiences will find the finale of “F” to be rather infuriating for the simple fact that while director Johannes Roberts doesn’t create a very conventional horror film, he also doesn’t opt for a conventional final scene. And viewers awaiting a huge showdown or some sense of comprehension to the extreme events that have occurred throughout the running time of “F,” many will find that it just doesn’t come to a close as many will be expecting. We live in a world where movies explain everything and anything they can. “F” chooses to leave most of its premise a mystery and keeps the motives of its almost supernatural legion of villains a mystery even after the credits have finished rolling.
Shutter Island (2010)
“Which would be worse, to live as a monster or to die as a good man?”
When I was finished with “Shutter Island,” I understood what director Martin Scorsese was pushing for in the area of a dark and complex journey of a man in to the bowels of a mysterious island. I understood that deep down Scorsese had an ambitious and admirable hunger to bring to us a modern “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari,” but ultimately, his efforts fail to bring a work of art that’s grandiose but low key in its effort to make a commentary about the human soul and the psyche. While the character of Teddy Daniels ends up becoming a truly tragic and complex individual, the caveat with “Shutter Island” is that everything surrounding the character of Daniels ends up becoming rather lackluster and limp. Especially when the surprise twist is given away so easily in the original trailers.
Black Christmas (1974)
We never did find out who Billy was, did we? Was he a disgruntled ex-boyfriend? A humiliated crush? Or perhaps just a lunatic who drifted into the sorority house one night before Christmas? It’s always more frightening to be left with questions, isn’t it? Why do killers always have to have a motive or connection to the characters? Do real murderers always make sense? From the first frame director Bob Clark leads us through a labyrinth of absolute red herrings advising us to pay attention, notice the clues, and really focus in on where he’s going with “Black Christmas.” For years I heard many people trying to figure out who Billy is and what his intent was toward this group of young women in their sorority house one Christmas. How is able to get in and out without notice? How is he able to sneak back and forth in this house without being seen?