The Ice Harvest (2005)

Posted on September 30, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

You’re very well aware at how poorly put together this vehicle is, when throughout the entire film, people are shot in the head with a small hole and a drip of blood from the frontal lobe, yet right in the climax when the villain’s head is blown away, blood and brain matter splatters all over Connie Nielsen. I hated “The Ice Harvest.” I hated its being. I hated its presence. Because—borrowing from a hilarious scene in “The Family Guy”—it insists upon itself. It’s so smug in its attempt to feel like a neo-noir dramedy, and fails in every aspect, and then tries horribly to shove the themes down our throats and never lets up.

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Broken Flowers (2005)

Posted on September 26, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

Never underestimate the power of karma. Don Johnston never will. Don has just broken up with his girlfriend, who urges him to get his life together and grow up. One day he receives an anonymous letter revealing to him that his son, who he’s never met, is looking for him. Jim Jarmusch’s tale of a lady killer who gets a jolt of reality facing his own mortality, is a clever and pretty interesting slice of life about a man whose life seems basically comfortable until he gets the announcement.

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The Wicker Man (2006)

Posted on September 7, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

To his credit, Neil Labute kept the original ending from the original 1975 masterpiece, and that’s something to look forward to. Why should you watch it if the film basically follows the original almost down to the tee? Well, there’s no reason. Morbid curiosity, watching Nicolas Cage continue his monotone dialoguing, or the whimsical scenery, you’ll find a reason. But what’s lost is the dark humor the original maintained, and that’s a shame. Now our detective is no longer a god-fearing bible thumping intruder who stomps around wielding his cross, he’s now just a moody, sad intruder who insinuates himself into this man hating village of women.

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Pulse (2006)

Posted on September 2, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

This is my review, I’m writing it right now, on my computer, on my black keyboard, currently I’m very sleepy, and I’m hoping to catch some sleep after I’ve finished my work, I’m writing this review of “Pulse”, a movie, that came out in theaters. Tedious? Yes. But that’s what sitting through “Pulse” was like, a remake that feels it needs to hold our hand and explain every little plot aspect to us every minute of its entire fucking run time. Tedious, no? Well, if you haven’t heard, we’re too stupid to understand a story, so Dimension has to guide us through every single character and sub-plot just because we can’t catch up.

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The Wanderer (2006)

Posted on August 31, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

We here are all basically a site for film, but our love for horror films is so evident and vocal, that we’re mostly sent horror films to review from directors—we didn’t plan it, but we’re happy for that fact. And nine times out of ten, the directors that send us their horror films are immensely talented. The talent behind “The Wanderer” is evident by the opening scenes of a young girl walking along the road, with the grainy direction never breaking from her.

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Lady in the Water (2006)

Posted on August 20, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

M. Night Shyamalan is nothing if not ambitious; I mean he creates films like a child seeking to spin his own stories in his own universe that could form a canon for aspiring filmmakers to launch from, and his vision gets in the way of his film and his fairy tale spins on its own while the film struggles to keep up. I enjoyed most of the fairy tale Shyamalan invents here involving a creature that can camouflage as grass, a mermaid, a giant eagle, and monkeys. If you’re wondering about his famous and infamous surprise ending, there isn’t one. There’s just one plot twist that’s interesting, and that’s all, so I won’t ruin much here. Continue reading →

Serial Killing 4 Dummys (Serial Killing 101) (2004)

Posted on August 3, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

This is just one of those movies that are so bad, they’re just damn good. The quality, filming locations, bad acting, and nonsensical story all pretty much made for a film that shouldn’t be taken too seriously by the audience and should be approached with an open mind. It’s pretty obvious that the makers attempted to make a real slasher, but then, halfway, decided to just make a satire, which is why this has two movie syndrome, where one half of the film feels so different from the second half. What starts off feeling like another slasher film inevitably becomes a cheesy, campy, dark comedy about killing.

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