Star Wars, Episode Three: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

I am a hardcore “Star Wars” fan, I love the lore, the amazing mythology and It’s taken hours before I could summon the emotions I took from this last installment in the “Star Wars” franchise and somehow manifest it in to words, and surely this last “Star Wars” movie was an emotional experience for me. When I stepped in to the theaters and watched the theme blast from the speakers I felt a swell of emotion build up in my chest–maybe it was gas, who knows?–but regardless, this was quite possibly the biggest experience I’ve had in theaters in years. I liked the “Star Wars” prequels, I thought they were okay, but they still just did not add up to the original trilogy and Lucas did a poor job of displaying Anakin Skywalker’s descent in to the dark side.

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Blade: Trinity (2004)

q7kJbnwThis review is being written at a good time for me, not only because I dug the last two Blade films, but because of the lawsuit Wesley Snipes has just waged on the studios about this movie. Snipes is a known diva, if you’ve read the past issues of “Fangoria” and “Starlog”, though his co-stars and director Goyer don’t openly admit it, Snipes is known for being a diva, and now he seeks retribution for a movie he claims he didn’t want to make, for starring along side people he didn’t want to star with being directed by a director who he says was forced on him. Regardless, I didn’t think “Blade 3” would live up to the first two. People often say there’s hardly any sequels that are as good as the first film, but I have something better for you. How many second sequels are better than the first film?

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AVP: Alien vs. Predator (2004)

avp-alien-vs-predator

This is it, the two bad asses of science fiction cinema finally clash. Fans have been waiting years for the chance where we’d see them finally go head to head, and we get… this. In the right hands, with the right people, “Alien vs. Predator” had the potential to be a balls to the wall action packed epic, and that’s what’s sad. Anderson is not a good writer, decent director, but no good as a screenwriter. There’s not a lot of set up until we get to the actual plot at hand. Anderson surely wastes no time in taking us to what is the actual point of the movie. But it wouldn’t have hurt to spend time with the characters before we got into the action, which would have made us care more for these people who were basically trade offs. I didn’t really care who died or who lived because there’s nothing for us to care about in this movie.

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Barbershop 2: Back in Business (2004)

barbershop2“Barbershop 2” is really disappointing with the gloss of a bigger budget and less heart, less character emphasis, and a plot that is so hokey, I could barely get over how I would have rather been watching the first film than this. Like right out of an old fashioned sitcom, Calvin’s barbershop is met with new competition from Nappy Cutz, a larger chain of barbershops that just moved in from across the street. Now, the writers could have gone for the more conventional and cliche and have them compete with the beauty shop, but then that would be a battle of the sexes and we wouldn’t want to get all predictable, now would we? Now as you can guess, Nappy Cutz is a better barbershop with a fancier design and Calvin is looking for a way to compete with their growing number of customers.

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Species III (2004)

key_art_species_iiiAfter the sequel to Species, the army is now transporting her body to the morgue for testing, but discovers she’s not exactly dead and has given birth to two offspring. Sil, the original species (cameo by Natasha Henstridge) is killed, but not before she gives birth to a child which is stolen by a soldier and taken in. The name of the child is Sara a brand new species/half-breed. Sara is played by the beautiful and angelic Sunny Mabrey, who pulls in a good performance as the new creature forced to discover the world. She presents the same sexual appeal predecessor Henstridge did, and is just as threatening.

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Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Though the film is clearly lacking in many things, what it doesn’t lack is an opening that is bland. I liked the beginning more than the film as a whole, mainly because it succeeds in setting forth what is about to happen despite robbing us of terror. The opening is very close to what the opening of the remake of “Dawn of the Dead” was except it doesn’t take the same risks and supply the same frantic nihilism, however it does succeed in tension from the workers going back into the hive being overrun by zombies, right down to the calm neighborhood interrupted by a car crash which essentially sets the stage for the “plot” of the missing daughter of the scientist of the hive and fades away to Jovovich in her delicious glory on the stretcher where we last left off from the ending of “Resident Evil.”

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Starship Troopers 2 – Hero of the Federation (2004)

starship-troopers-2-hero-ofWhat occurs in “Starship Troopers 2” is an odd thing, something that happens very rarely in franchise land. First off, I’ll be the first to admit that the sub-title “Hero of the Federation” makes no sense to me. What is it supposed to mean? Is it supposed to refer to the character Dax? Regardless, I would have preferred something like “Dark Corruption” or something to that effect, something that refers to the plot. What’s odd is, this is so very different from the first film, and that was perplexing to me. I’d read about this movie and about how dark and murky it would be from the original film, but I didn’t expect anything like this. I thought the original film was decent for what it was; a balls to the wall action film without a brain in its head, but I liked it, and I even liked the obscure dark animated series “Roughnecks”, so it’s safe to say the writer strays away from the original formula that made the Verhoeven directed original so successful and decides to take its own route in storytelling.

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