I’m always of the opinion that there really isn’t anything new that we can do with classic fairytales, anymore. We can twist them, and reboot them, but in the end they’re really not going to feel fresh or inventive. It’s like that episode of “The Simpsons” where Marge couldn’t afford a new dress for her country club meetings, so she just kept re-designing the same dress over and over. “Jack the Giant Slayer” is exactly like that. Sure, it posits the idea that we’re being given a new tale, but in reality it’s just another take on Jack and the Beanstalk. But this ain’t yo daddy’s Jack and the Beanstalk! No sir! This is the true story of Jack and the Giants before the actual tale was invented.
Tag Archives: Thriller
Atlantic Rim (2013)
The Asylum’s answer to Guillermo Del Toro’s upcoming “Pacific Rim” is goofy, and often times inadvertently funny. But in the realm of science fiction from The Asylum, I’ve seen so much worse. The Asylum has been pretty good about their science fiction inputs, offering another solid robot movie “Transmorphers,” so I was much more open minded with this endeavor. I would take writer Jared Cohn to task for offering no build up to the action, but if he went the opposite route, I’d be complaining he took too long. So in that respect, “Atlantic Rim” gets a pass for knowing exactly what kind of film it is.
Warm Bodies (2013)
In the universe of “Warm Bodies,” zombification is a metaphor for social inadequacy. Being a zombie makes it impossible for you to talk and socialize with anyone. The rare conversations a zombie does have, is nothing but grunts and a brief dismissal of the company kept. The really bad introverts are terribly animated skeletons with a thing for self-mutilation. This is kind of a PSA for social introverts but with monsters that you can call zombies. I guess they’re zombies. They’re undead, and they eat humans for sustenance. But I just have a hard time trying to figure out which audience “Warm Bodies” is trying to pander to, if anything. It’s definitely a movie for teenagers. The movie doesn’t so much make zombification a disease, as it is a deadly form of social anxiety.
Nazithon: Decadence and Destruction (2013)
It’s nazisploitation this time around, as one of the two new Grindhouse Collections from Full Moon now sets its sights on the infamous sub-sub-genre of Nazisploitaiton and its wicked devices. For folks that love the compilations from Full Moon that were rare for a long time until being given deluxe releases on DVD in 2012, Full Moon and Grindhouse Flix have now released a brand new compilation. And it’s about those swastika donning fiends we know as the Nazis.
The Last House on the Left (1972)
Director Wes Craven’s remake of “The Virgin Spring” often gets a lot of credit, not just for jump starting the grindhouse boom, but for being influential as a veritable violent film. Sadly, “Last House” is another of Wes Craven’s films that gets too much credit. While many will argue that “Last House” has to be considered for its time period, even in context, “Last House” is a piss poor horror film with terrible production qualities.
Hatchet III (2013)
Director Adam Green’s concept for a throwback to slashers has always been a good idea. In theory. Sadly Dark Sky Films has taken a one note concept for a serviceable slasher film and turned it in to a three film series that really didn’t need anymore than one movie. I’m still not in the thought process that the “Hatchet” films are the second coming of the slasher sub-genre, because while they have their audiences, slasher films are still pretty much just a sub-genre reserved for indie filmmakers at the moment. “Hatchet” has been a consistently repetitive and tedious series that really offers nothing new. Even with the casting of Danielle Harris as a replacement for the original lead, “Hatchet” still manages to be loud, redundant, and lacking in any genuine scares.
Enter the Dragon (1973)
Bruce Lee is a legend beyond the mere definition of legend, and likely his most accessible and easily found film is “Enter the Dragon.” That’s pretty much because Lee stars in a film that garners the most mainstream premise along with some truly iconic imagery that’s never been matched. Even in spite of battling Chuck Norris in one of his films. “Enter the Dragon” is an easily found film that’s on constant rotation in American television mainly because it’s a truly entertaining film that can appeal to almost anyone. It’s a crime thriller, a martial arts film, a romance picture, and a revenge film all tied in to one.