Category Archives: Full Moon Friday

Zombies vs. Strippers (2012)

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So what do we learn from Zombies vs. Strippers? Zombies who moan “brains!” aren’t specifically limited to eating brains, strippers crave anal sex even during a zombie raid, cameramen will stay focused on a TV host even if they’re being mauled by the walking dead, watching someone eating someone else’s fingers doesn’t set off alarms that something is wrong with them, pole dancing is actually a hidden form of martial arts, cops are nowhere to be found in the city, zombies will pounce on extras but slowly creep up on principle cast members of a movie, strip clubs only play songs without lyrics, strip clubs only employ four strippers at a time, and when you’re bitten in the butt you won’t notice until much later on. All things considered “Zombies vs. Strippers” is a pretty crummy movie.

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Full Moon's Grindhouse Collection: Filmgore (DVD)

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filmgore“FilmGore” is one of the many horror compilations grindhouse fans will get a kick out of, as it’s not only a compilation of the some of the most famous and obscure horror films of all time, but the presentation as a whole cuts through the droning dialogue and just zeroes in on the blood and grue. Basically it’s all one big cut together clip show from horror geeks and it shows. Dixon’s writing paired with the essence of Ackerman provides the film with a sense of charisma, in spite of the film basically being one big excuse to show off clips without much of a structure.

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Subspecies (1991) [Blu-Ray]

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Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention but what is the Bloodstone supposed to do, anyway? The entire first film of “Subspecies” revolves around the sacred macguffin called the Bloodstone. Allegedly it’s supposed to drip the blood of the saints but then what? Does that grant the vampire god-like abilities? Isn’t that a bit redundant considering a vampire is already near invincible? Does it allow them to walk during the day? Does it make them holy or something? I could never quite figure out what if anything the bloodstone was for. “Subspecies” in spite of its inherent narrative faults and logic gaps is a time when Full Moon was trying to deliver us quality entertainment.

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The Gingerdead Man (2005)

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the_gingerdead_manThe best thing to do with “The Gingerdead Man” is not take it seriously. At all. It’s a dumb, goofy, and cheesy horror comedy that invokes the likes of “Jack Frost” and “Child’s Play” to tell a story that’s giddy with cheesiness from the get go. One of the fun aspects of the movie that I intend to follow is the location of the ingredients that spawn the Gingerdead Man. Once bakery owner Sarah receives a mysterious box of gingerbread ingredients, the mysterious mix spawns the evil gingerdead man from the dough. Where did it come from? Who sent it? Who has it out for Sarah? I want to know and I hope the sequels tackle this mystery in the next two films of the apparent trilogy.

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Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt (2011)

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If you’re a hardcore Full Moon Entertainment fan and really follow their films by the tee, then you’ll love “The Haunt.” Basically it’s a self-aware meta-sequel to their cult classic “The Killer Eye.” This time though the movie is simply just a movie in this reality and in this world we set down on, Full Moon is just a company that treads out horror movies. We visit with a group of hormonally unbalanced lesbian best friends who spend their time dancing, and flirting with one another all the while preparing for a big Halloween exhibit one of the girls’ mother is throwing. Of course they spend the night drinking and unpacking the props for the Halloween house which are obviously nothing but Full Moon props.

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Skull Heads (2009)

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SkullHeads1I understand at a certain point there has to be caution drawn about the budget, but would it hurt to have a film about characters that can do something other than stare in to the camera and make miniscule movements? “Skullheads” is a story about the worst guardians of all time, guardians of a large castle who do nothing but appear in mirrors every so often and watch the owners of the castle inflict horrible pain on one another. Beyond that, “Skullheads” is basically a ninety minute melodrama that draws the concept for the skull heads but has no idea what to do with them until much later on in the film.

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Remote (1993)

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Remote1993-1-“Home Alone” was a smash hit in America, and to this day it’s one of the landmark blockbuster films of all time based solely around such a simplistic formula of comedy and storytelling. After the success of “Home Alone” every single studio in America from the big guns to the low budget filmmakers sought to create their very own successful film starring a rambunctious kid and a group of inept criminals with some physical comedy thrown in for good measure. Many variations tried and failed. Among them was Charles Band’s very own “Remote.” Directed by Ted Nicolaou “Remote” is a film I vaguely remember back in the days of VHS rentals.

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