Kill (2011)

kill01Much as I hate to admit it, “Saw 2” pretty much aced the concept of the strangers waking up in mysterious circumstances scenario that’s become so prevalent in modern horror. Directors Chad Archibald, and Gabriel Carrer don’t even seem to try with “Kill,” which is just another variation on the premise from “Saw 2,” except “Kill” is filled with so much more inconsistencies. Not to mention the cast is filled with terrible actors portraying obnoxious characters that literally do nothing but bicker and argue from the first moment they wake up in a mysterious house.

A group of people wake up in a house that’s been boarded up and barred down. They soon realize they’re being terrorized by a mysterious entity watching them, and proclaims that in order to survive and make it home to their significant others, they have to kill each other. Nope, this isn’t “Battle Royale,” although I’d bet the parallels aren’t a mistake. The surviving member of the group gets to go home. I think. Why are the victims awoken in white clothing? Who knows? What is the relevance of the connection that inevitably rises to the surface in the middle of the terror? I wasn’t sure, and I immediately stopped trying to care. What do the tiki men signify? What’s with all the imagery of knights and medieval drapery? And what are the TV’s even for?

Details and plot devices are brought up and abruptly rendered invalid moments later, and there’s just no plot progression until the final twenty minutes. There are even stunning moments of sheer stupidity, like when one of the characters confirms one of the victims has a pulse, prompting another character to ask “Is he alive?” And you have to enjoy how the characters break free from the house while a character screams “Stop! This is someone’s house!” The production is pretty poor as well, with bad editing, and really dicey direction that never fulfills the intended illusion of claustrophobia and paranoia. One of the most distracting elements of “Kill” that tore me out of the narrative was the bad sound.

I don’t know if the rooms on the sets echoed, or if there was ambient sound dripping in to the movie set, but every piece of dialogue sounds canned. So much so that you could almost swear the movie was dubbed. There’s a lot of really ambiguous plot elements brought up and featured with no real clarification, and truthfully I never cared to ponder what I’d seen. I was just happy it ended. “Kill” is terrible because it feels incomplete, rushed, and incredibly half hearted. Almost as if the directors just made points up as they went along. I’m also assuming the directors thought they’d lay the ground work for a follow up. I don’t think there’s any kind of material available for another droning ninety minutes of pointless violence and a script that’s one note and with zero narrative.

The Devil Incarnate (2013)

Gustavo Cooper skids the surface of a gimmick with “The Devil Incarnate” jumping from found footage, to pseudo-mockumentary, to classic narrative, and meta-horror erratically. And to the point where it becomes incredibly frustrating. “The Devil’s Incarnate” jumps between formats so much that it seems to try to unfold its narrative through these various formats to really emphasize the true horror of the scenario. And while you think that’d lead in to a very innovative and creepy horror film, it’s really just half baked and utterly mediocre when all is said and done. I can understand why people are sick of found footage movies, but what I’m sicker of these days are retreads of “Rosemary’s Baby.” And at least that story had something to say.

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Vanishing on 7th Street (2010)

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I never thought I’d hate a post apocalyptic movie for being too grim and miserable. But surely enough one of the biggest downfalls of “Vanishing on 7th Street” is that it’s so downbeat it cuts off any chance of entertainment. I know that grim and hopeless moods come with tales about the end of the world, but director Brad Anderson almost has nothing to do with his premise and concept, thus he revolves his story around a series of very unlikable characters. It’s a shame considering director Brad Anderson is such a competent often brilliant director, but he’s behind the camera lensing what is an obviously incomplete movie.

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Frailty (2001)

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It’s indicative of the kind of veteran Bill Paxton is that he would choose “Frailty” as his first directorial outing to bring to audiences in 2001. Paxton approaches Brent Hanley’s script with a brilliance and very low key delivery that keeps “Frailty” one of the best horror mysteries ever conceived and yet one constantly over looked. This is a film where even McConaughey manages to shine in his lead performance, and I’m rarely one to endorse his acting abilities. “Frailty” is one of those horror movies that sneak up on you, presuming to be one kind of animal, when it’s a whole other sinister animal entirely.

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Mosquito (1995)

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“You’re living science fact!”

An alien ship crash lands in a swamp in the wilderness. But that’s unimportant–giant mosquitoes! What about the aliens, you say? Who cares? Giant Mosquitoes! It’s too bad we never saw what happened when humans drank alien blood. Do they too become gigantic? I think we deserve an answer. Director Gary Jones’ “Mosquito” is pure mid-nineties STV junk, but damn is it a good time. If you’re going to name a movie “Mosquito” (and it’s not a metaphor) you’d better serve us some giant mosquitoes, and director Jones supplies the goods.

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Sexcula (1974) (DVD)

sexcula“Sexcula” is like one big acid trip. There’s no sense of narrative, tone, pacing, or any kind of semblance of story. The director doesn’t even seem to be working on any kind of script. Take for example the big show where a stripper (glimmering in a spotlight seemingly appearing from nowhere) begins dancing with the castle owner’s pet gorilla. The gorilla is so enticed by the dancing, he attacks and rapes the stripper, and out of revenge, she rapes the gorilla. The two then seemingly die during the revenge rape, and then they pop up taking a bow as the characters in the film applaud. It’s this kind of nonsense that makes “Sexcula” irritating, but oddly alluring. I’d call it erotic and sexy, but the movie is just too stupid to muster up any kind of that flavor.

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Skeeter (1993)

I almost want to sue the producers of “Skeeter” for false advertising, but then, what’s the use? And why bother? “Skeeter” really is better off being a very obscure and god awful horror film. Why even name a movie “Skeeter” if you’re only going to include four very short attacks by giant mosquitoes, most of whom seem anxious to take off before we really get in to the chaos?

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