Riddle (2013)

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

It’s a movie about a girl solving a mystery in a town called Riddle. Soak that in. If anything, “Riddle” isn’t a complete loss of time when you consider that Elizabeth Harnois and co-star Diora Baird are mind-blowingly gorgeous. The pair can also provide good performances when given the right material. I’m still not sure why Elizabeth Harnois keeps being handed these roles that straddle the line between horror and drama. Is she trying to garner a fan base while not being pegged a horror scream queen? She’s very pretty and a decent performer. Diora Baird is now and will always be a bombshell of a woman, so her presence is welcome. She has charisma that make almost any movie watchable. That said, “Riddle” is not quite a drama, and not quite a horror film. It’s just right there in the middle for a broad audience.

Continue reading →

The House of Seven Corpses (1974)

Posted on October 4, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

As far as murder mystery movies about evil houses, “The House of Seven Corpses” is not a masterpiece. I’m by no means intent on watching it again for at least a few years, but it makes a good argument for nonsensical genre fodder that doesn’t even try. The main character’s cat gets in to a stare down with a painting on a wall featuring the head of a severed cat. There’s the “Tibetan Book of the Dead” that’s bandied about like it’s an encyclopedia, and did I mention a zombie pops up in the end? Why? Who the hell knows? The zombie just gets out of its grave, kills the entire cast, carries a naked girl to his grave, and the movie ends.

Continue reading →

Interview with the Vampire (1994)

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Author Anne Rice has been accused of feminizing the vampire creature for a very long time. While Bram Stoker was one of the first authors to take a fear creature of its period and turn it in to an individual with feeling and romantic urges, Anne Rice gets the brunt of the blame for taking a horrifying creature and transforming it in to a romance novel element. I can safely say I’ve never read a single Rice novel, but I am always surprised when I find that “Interview with the Vampire” is an entertaining film. It’s probably the most erotic mainstream film of all time. It’s a glorified Jean Rollin vampire film that places sexual emphasis on blood sucking and vampirism that Jess Franco or Jean Rollin would have offered fans in the early seventies.

Continue reading →

Vampire on Bikini Beach (1988)

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Michael Headley: Dude this will be our big break!
Todd Kaufman: How do you figure?
Michael: Everyone loves vampire movies right now, so we could make our own!
Todd: Genius, dude!
Michael: But while the audience is watching the horror movie, we can perform some songs during the movie.
Todd: Geniuser, dude!
Michael: I mean they have to watch us perform, what else are they going to do? Press the forward button?

Continue reading →

Dark Shadows (2012)

Posted on October 3, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Were people actually clamoring for a big screen adaptation of a soapy daytime horror melodrama from the fifties that only hardcore horror fans know? Did we really have to have a big screen adaptation of a Gothic soap opera? It’s no wonder director Tim Burton approaches the adaptation of “Dark Shadows” with a tongue in cheek often derisive attitude. The show is obscure among the broader audiences, and even when he fine tunes the film with goofy humor and testicle jokes, it’s still so niche that not even hardcore Burton apologists will enjoy what he has to offer. Like most recent Burton productions, “Dark Shadow” is gaudy, busy, and feels like Burton going through the motions without an inch of heart injected in to the narrative.

Continue reading →

Stephen King’s It (1990)

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

Stephen King creates the ultimate boogeyman and he is neither man nor monster, despite the visage of a clown called Pennywise. “Stephen King’s It” is filled with the usual King doldrums of a small town with hidden demons, and at least one character that wants to be an author. That said director Tommy Lee Wallace’s adaptation is a great horror film, and a perfectly good bit of nostalgia. “It” gets a lot of flack for deviating from the original novel, but considering it is a television movie, director Wallace does a bang up job. “It” for being only TV movie packs a ton of iconic horror moments, as well as an Oscar caliber performance by Tim Curry.

Continue reading →

Salem’s Lot (1979)

Posted on October 2, 2013 by Felix Vasquez

“Salem’s Lot” presents a very humanistic approach toward vampire folklore. Ben Mears, filled with desperation and literally nothing left to lose in the face of a fantastic situation, finds himself in a local morgue prepared to face down one of the unholy walking dead by taping together two tongue depressors and scotch tape, supplying a makeshift crucifix. This little device ultimately aids him in the battle with a horrific vampire who slowly rises from her sheet in all her terrifying glory. It about sums up the whole of “Salem’s Lot,” a film wrapped around despair and tension where a small town’s unrest and inner turmoil of infidelity and abuse is brought to the surface when faced with a hidden menace in the shadows, in the form of a vampire striking down town residents one by one.

Continue reading →