Tiny Juggernaut’s special effects are pretty good when compared to other indie productions and though it’s all mostly takes on the Transformers, the robot menaces are pretty sleek and cool to watch as they fuck shit up in civilization. I’m still not sure why we need an attack from a cell phone, but Tiny Juggernaut keeps the special effects standard and old school quite often. And who ever creates the one sheets over at The Asylum, I commend them on their artistic ability. If anything The Asylum is great for providing great cover art for their productions. I also enjoyed some of what director Wheeler brings to the screen. There’s even a really ominous sequence where our hero and heroine realize that the signal these robots have sent out just didn’t get intercepted and comets are falling to the sky with the alien menace in tow. It’s a great scene that is thankfully sold by star Shane Van Dyke’s shocked reaction.
Category Archives: Movie Reviews
Northville Cemetery Massacre (1976)
With a bigger budget, a better cast of actors, and higher production qualities, “Northville Cemetery Massacre” could have been one hell of a movie. But the catch is that it would have never achieved its status as a cult classic if it did have all the perks listed above. Based on a real biker gang, directors/writers William Dear and Thomas L. Dyke’s action thriller set down on the Spirits (known as the Scorpions Biker Club in real life) a kind band of pious cycle riding nomads who peruse the road for something to do. They’re so kind in fact that they stop mid travel to help an old couple whose car has been run off the road. Dyke and Dear’s story set out to educate people on the good biker clubs actually try to do and how stereotyping is the very essence of ignorance.
The Warriors (1979)
It was like something out of a Western this film; a gang called “The Warriors” is blamed for the death of the highest gangster of them all and must race to their Coney Island turf before trouble stirs beyond their grasp. It sounds simple enough except every single gang in the city is out for their blood and they must fight their way through colorful delinquents all of whom want to make the small band of rejects pay for the murder. “The Warriors” is a movie I fondly remember being introduced to by my pops who rented this one night and sat us down to bask in the glow of the television and let Walter Hill perform his magic.
Race With the Devil (1975)
The seventies were all about fascination with Satanism and with the curiosity it begat movies with themes of satanism one of the most famous being “Rosemary’s Baby.” Probably one of the more underrated satanic films, “Race with the Devil” is about being at the wrong place at the wrong time and what ensues is a claustrophobic cult classic that stars Peter Fonda as one of a group of innocent bystanders who witness a satanic ritual and are pulled in to the world of satanic worship for witnessing something they were never meant to see.
Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)
I guess it was only a matter of time for “Blood: The Last Vampire” to be turned in to an honest to goodness big budget movie. I mean the original short film by Hiroyuki Kitakubo has become somewhat of a cult classic in spite of its short running time and brings to the table some of the best animation I’ve ever seen in a horror oriented anime I’ve ever seen. The original take focused on a vampire hunter who had to infiltrate a girls school to stop vampires hiding among the ranks of students and teachers. You’ll find that the 2009 live action version by Chris Nahon isn’t much of a departure. In fact there are times where the movie duplicates scenes from the anime shot for shot which ends up becoming a mixed bag in the end.
Gothkill (2009) (DVD)
So far I’ve enjoyed the output Wild Eye Releasing has dropped on movie lovers laps. “Blitzkrieg” was a fun and salivating homage to Naziploitation from the grindhouse era and now we have “Gothkill,” another neo-grindhouse bonanza that recalls the satanic thrillers of the seventies with its tongue firmly planted in cheek. At a merciful hour and nine minutes long, Connelly’s satanic horror comedy seems to be here only to present us with the finest and most unique satanic and gothic performance artists of all time from fire breathers, to magicians and fortune tellers, all of whom are included in the film for lip service in a story that is not only much too convoluted to understand at times, but seems too long even at the length of an average television special.
Pontypool (2008)
Okay, I’m just going to throw it out there and admit that I didn’t get “Pontypool.” Maybe I’m losing my touch or maybe this is one of the most incomprehensible messes I’ve seen in years, but “Pontypool” makes no sense. It’s abrupt, awkwardly paced, and often times doesn’t even know what to do with the formula it’s set up. We’re supposed to be watching a movie about what I can assume are zombies that have turned in to the walking dead (?) due to a sudden infection that’s carried through the English language. Did you understand that? Because I sure as hell didn’t!