D.N.A (1997)

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It’s pretty funny that “DNA” manages to be a total rip off of “Predator.” Because once you get a full glimpse at the alien monster in this 1997 Mark Dacascos vehicle, you realize that the alien in the film looks exactly like the early concepts for the monster in “Predator.” Anyone who knows movies, knows that the early designs for the monster in “Predator” featured a long necked more primal beast with a beak like mouth later changed in to a dreadlocked crab like hunter. The beast in “DNA” looks similar to the aforementioned monster from early drafts of “Predator,” except this time he’s tangling with Mark Dacascos and his boss long hair. “DNA” is not the worst “Predator” wannabe I’ve ever seen, it’s just incredibly silly. Especially when the first half is pretty much a riff on “African Queen” that then turns in to “Predator” once we learn of the evil plans bad guy Jurgen Prochnow has in store.

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Nothing Men (Digital)

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In the interest of full disclosure, I am a long time friend with author Doug Brunell, but this review is as objective and fair as possible.

Reading “Nothing Men” is a lot like the beginning of a rollercoaster, where you’re riding up further and further and building up to momentum. You’re sitting waiting thinking “Here it comes, here it comes,” and when the rush finally does come, author Doug Brunell delivers on a final half that soaked with blood, guts, and an ending that will likely make you re-think travelling to small towns ever again. “Nothing Men” made me think about the like of Herschell Gordon Lewis, Tobe Hooper, and prompted flashbacks of films like “The Wicker Man” and “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.”

No matter how far you run, you’re never really quite out of the grasp of the environment and its deadly residents that dwell in its bowels, and that sends a surge of dread and a bleak atmosphere in “Nothing Men” that’s wrenching. Especially in its final pages. Author Brunell simply doesn’t let his characters off the hook, and punishes just about everyone in the book. It’s almost like a splatter version of “Funny Games” at times. Partly they pay for playing god, and partly for their hubris in the situation. Hubris is the ultimate undoing for just about everyone in the book, and Brunell unfolds layers of Valley Bottom slowly with every chapter.

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Three on a Meathook: Interview with Author Doug Brunell

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I was first introduced to Doug Brunell back in 2004, when I discovered his column “Excess Hollywood” at Film Threat. His column was often so addictive and volatile I spent a few days reading the entire archive. When I joined Film Threat in 2005, I made a point of befriending Doug, because he’s simply one of my favorite online writers and I had to pick his brain and learn from him. Since then, Doug has been a consistent source of creative inspiration, an all around nice guy, and someone who isn’t smug about his talent. After reading his gory new horror novel “Nothing Men,” we interviewed Doug about his book and views about movies and entertainment since he is still a very ardent and influential voice in film criticism.

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Battledogs (2013)

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“Battledogs,”is a film that demonstrates the fine art of retooling a movie and having a good time doing it. In this instance, Writer Phillip Van Dyke retreads 2008’s “The Incredible Hulk” but tailors it more for werewolves. Every plot device and moment in the film is shamelessly derived from the 2008 action film. Hell, there’s even a moment where one of the infected humans is kicked out of a helicopter in mid-air and sent crashing in to the Earth as it transforms in to the rabid werewolf.

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Roseanne: The Complete Eighth Season (DVD)

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By the beginning of Roseanne season eight it’d become obvious that the series really should have ended a long time ago. At least around season seven. But with the main star a huge celebrity, and ABC insistent on giving her whatever she demanded, the show was eventually going to continue until it was embarrassing to sit through. To indicate how absolutely uneven and inconsistent the show had become already, the constant switches in actresses who played Becky made the show ridiculous, and unfunny. Take for example the two parter where Dan has a heart attack at Darlene’s wedding to David. In the first part of the episode, Sarah Chalke plays Becky who helps Darlene prepare for her wedding with the other Conner women for the entire episode.

In the second part, Lacey Goranson is now playing Becky, who shares literally one scene with Darlene and is never seen again in the episode. There’s even a small reception in Dan’s hospital room where all the Conner children attend except for Becky. The writers eventually tried to catch that kind of idiotic distraction in the two part Disney episode where a narrator points to the audience how Sarah Chalke will be playing Becky in the episode, to which Roseanne exclaims “Aren’t you glad you came this week?!” Continue reading →

Roseanne: The Complete Seventh Season (DVD)

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Number Seven is one of the weaker seasons of “Roseanne” since most of the season basically focuses on the less interesting characters and places a great emphasis on the endlessly irritating romance between Darlene and David. For a good portion of season seven, actress Sara Gilbert spent time acting in theater and going to college, so she’s pretty much a non-presence for a quarter of season seven, while the writers miss the boat by focusing more on Chalke’s Becky, choosing to turn her in to a mere side character who appears periodically. Instead, the writers make the misguided choice of placing a good focus on the storylines on DJ’s life.

As well as the relationship between David and Mark. The two characters garner much dysfunction and have a troubled life filled with resentment and hatred, but their arc is pointless and incredibly boring. This is time that should be filled devoted to developing Becky and Darlene, and instead there’s just a deeper and strong look at the dynamic between brothers Mark and David. To add more confusion to the mix, there’s the stunt casting of Traci Lords, who appears for a number of episodes as a walking talking plot device and disappears once the show gets back in motion with Sara Gilbert and Sarah Chalke coming back as the characters they originally played.

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Army of Darkness (1992)

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xHU2TXQWhen last we saw Ash Williams in “Evil Dead II,” he was at the butt hole end of a massive portal to hell and could do nothing but hope and pray for the best. In spite of battling the demonic menace in his deserted cabin in the woods for the second time, he unfortunately could only hope the demonic menace within this wormhole would display mercy on him. Or at least let its guard down long enough to allow Ash an escape. Little did he know he’d land in 1300 AD among a culture of people desperately in need of a savior.

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