As softcore schlock goes, director Fred Olen Ray’s wild west romp is only sub-par, and not as entertaining as his previous bikini films. I mean how do you film a girl on girl on girl scene without even showing any of them chewing on rug? Hell, in one moment Beverly Lynne and Nicole Sheridan literally begin fighting over Belinda Gavin’s betweens, but we never actually see any of the good stuff. But I digress. While “Bikini Round Up” is just sub-par, what I really enjoy about the movie is that everything, from top to bottom is implied.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 2 (1986)
From what I’ve read, Tobe Hooper pretty much had to make a sequel to his masterpiece “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” in order to make films he wanted. And the sequel to his slasher classic is exactly the type of film Hooper has to make, It’s forced, tired, and a complete retread of the original film. To add to the utter lack of entertainment value, there’s even plots that are completely unresolved or unfinished that I would have enjoyed seeing explored expanded just to give this film the feeling that it was an extension of the first film rather than just a retread.
In spite of the family hiding in the outskirts of Texas and hunting travelers for meals, now we learn that the head of their family is a local celebrity thanks to his entering of his prize winning chili and wonderful meat that he keeps a secret. Dennis Hopper is Lefty, a mysterious cowboy hunting the cannibal family and trying to uncover their secrets and put an end to their chaos. And in the opening the two unlucky schmucks that get killed by Leatherface are dismissed as accidents, in spite of one of the two getting his head sawed off. Nothing is ever really expanded or realized beyond these nuggets of ideas.
Joe Bob Goes to the Drive-In [Paperback]
“Women should never be judged by their personal appearance. They Should be Judged by the Size of their Hooters.” – Joe Bob’s Rules to Live By
It’s easy to see why John Bloom aka Joe Bob Briggs would arouse the ire of pretty much everyone in the South. He is not a writer that’s intent on being politically correct, nor does he really pull his punches with his reviews.
He refers to women only as bimbos, he calls men turkeys, he has an article devoted to Steven Spielberg and his “wimpy” movies, he bashes Gene Shallit, he mocks Moustapha Akkad for being an ayrab, and he calls people who perfer to go to indoor movies rather than drive-ins, folks too poor to afford cars.
But that’s all apart of the character of Joe Bob Briggs. Rather than writing a Drive-In report as John Bloom, writer Bloom created Joe Bob Briggs, a Southern gent who is politically incorrect, offends at every turn, and has a deep passion for the drive-in.
Defiance
Syfy really wants another “Battlestar Galactica,” since the series itself was one of the most compelling and unique pop culture landmarks in the 21st century. But with “Defiance” I really doubt they’ve caught lightning in a bottle twice. In face one of the main caveats of “Defiance” is that it’s so heavy handed in its pursuit to explore racism and prejudice, that it becomes the bases for the entire series. So far with a two hour pilot movie, and two one hour episodes, as well as a game, “Defiance” has proven to be a well produced, and beautifully constructed science fiction epic that when watched is just… okay. It’s by no means a lemon of a science fiction offering, but I’m not going to be following its mythos any time soon, either. In fact, I had a hard time remembering any of the characters’ names, even after three episodes.
The Magic School Bus: All About Earth (DVD)
In honor of Earth Day, Scholastic releases a DVD compilation of four episodes of one of the best educational animated series of the nineties, “The Magic School Bus.” A series that taught kids about everything involving science, while entertaining with its diverse characters and ability to turn every episode in to a unique adventure, “All About Earth” is a DVD gathering of episodes about the glory of the planet Earth and what it has to offer.
Ten Reasons "The Body" Is the Best Buffy Episode Ever Made
I’ve had a love/hate relationship with “Buffy The Vampire Slayer” over the years, but whether or not you enjoy the show, you can’t deny it’s had its fair share of incredible episodes, and memorable moments. Even at its weakest, “Buffy” managed to show its teeth as a remarkable touchstone in genre television, while Joss Whedon was able to explore his ability to finish off popular and important characters. In the end, every move had an importance, and the death of Buffy’s mom Joyce had a particular impact on the life of Buffy and her entire group.
The Vampire Lovers (1970) [Blu-ray]
The goddess Ingrid Pitt roams the European Countryside spreading lesbianism–er–vampirism to hapless farms and mansions as the dreaded Mircalla. Pitt is at her absolute sexiest in one of the most erotic Hammer films ever made. Pitt stars as the buxom and desirable Mircalla who masquerades as damsels and maidens thanks to her handler. Left at the manors of her hosts for weekends, she insinuates herself in to the family, and eventually seduces the innocent taut daughters of the owners of the house, engaging in affairs, eventually transforming them in to her own vampiric minions. Pitt absolutely glows on screen as the irresistible Mircalla who worms her way in to households across the countryside, and takes every chance to romance young daughters whose lives are filled with monotony and suppression.