This is from the morons who brought us “Epic Movie,” “Disaster Movie,” and “Meet the Spartans.” Do I need to explain myself anymore? Do I really? If it were up to me I’d just leave you with this whole string of sentences and that’d be about it, but then what’s the point of even reading this review? If you want to watch “Vampire Sucks” take every single god forsaken “Twilight” spoof you’ve ever seen on Youtube, FunnyorDie, and YTMD, mash them together and sit through it. I guarantee that you’ll laugh more in that compilation that you ever will here.
Galaxy Quest (1999)
In the late nineties, Tim Allen was pretty much at the top of his comedy game. The man was ending a long run on one of the most beloved family sitcoms of the nineties, he was known as the iconic Buzz Lightyear thanks to starring in one of the most revolutionary Disney films of all time, and he was appearing in anything he could get his hands on. One of the more adult related titles he starred in managed to be one of his highest grossing yet low key film to date that signaled an inevitable slump in his film career. But in spite of that descent in to becoming a third rate comedy star bouncing crotch shots off of a bloated brother of a comedy legend, “Galaxy Quest” is one of Allen’s most entertaining films, and continues to be a favorite of mine years subsequent its release in theaters. “Galaxy Quest” is a fantastic science fiction comedy, sure, but many years since its release, it’s managed to be a rotating title on my short list of absolute favorite films.
You Have to See This! Dobermann (1997)
Dobermann follows the title character (Vincent Cassel) and his group of bank robbers as they evade the law and particularly a maniacal cop, Cristini (Tcheky Karyo). The tone of the movie is set right away with the opening sequence, at the end of which a gun is given to a baby at his Baptism. The rest of the story, based on cop novel, is fairly simple; bad guys versus good guys, or is it?
Edge of Darkness (2010) (DVD)
Based on the critically acclaimed BBC Mini series, director Martin Campbell’s revenge thriller is a hefty mixing of genres that begins as a family drama, continues on as a revenge action film and ends as a conspiracy mystery where Mel Gibson is able to shine yet again as grieving single father Thomas Craven. Possessing a passable and forgivable Boston accent, Gibson as Craven is a man whose life has garnered him a distance from his only living family member, his daughter Emma. Noticeably disturbed and ill, Emma and Thomas re-connect and attempt to seal their relationship but all fate is sealed when a sick Emma is shot outside of Thomas’ house by a masked gunman. Working outside the law, Thomas decides that there is much more to the murder than meets the eye, and he begins unraveling a mystery that is beyond anything he could have imagined.
Valentine's Day (2010)
What with director Richard Curtis’s “Love Actually” becoming a bonafide crowd pleasing classic featuring an ensemble of the greatest British actors around with the heavy theme of love conquering all, it was only a matter of time until American studios decided that Americans needed their own love themed ensemble classic, in spite of the fact that most people who love “Love Actually” don’t mind that it’s British. Nevertheless not ones to just stand back and let the Brits have the love, “Valentine’s Day” is a two hour Hallmark card, one that doesn’t enlist the best American cast, but the hottest, with the newest and most in vogue engaging in their own mini-plots vested in the themes of the exploitative of holidays: “Valentine’s Day.”
The Theology of "Toy Story 3"
We must warn you that there are immense spoilers and plot twists to “Toy Story 3” revealed in the following essay, so please display caution and read at your leisure.
Ultimately the “Toy Story” series comes full circle when we learn it’s all one big metaphor for the power of love, the sadness of growing up, and god. Many will dispute this fact, they’ll claim others are looking far too deep in to what is just a kids adventure film, but since when has a movie by Pixar ever been just about adventures and laughs? “Up” was about the sanctity of life and love, “Wall-E” about mass consumerism destroying the world and how love can save humanity, et al.
“Toy Story 3” is very much a take on religion in the end as while the first installment explored the blooming maturity of Woody’s master and the threat of being replace, and “Toy Story 2” focusing on the lessening importance of mementos, “Toy Story 3” dares to delve in to the after life of toys and dabbles with the concepts of these characters beliefs and their faith that could lead them down an interesting path in an after life that’s alluded toward but never revealed for us after the credits have rolled in front of our eyes. When the question of an after life and the potential death for the toys arises we’re immediately drawn in to a discussion about their fates that could have potentially varying degrees of experiences.
Death Wish (1974)
Before “The Punisher” ever graced the big screen director Michael winner’s 1974 revenge flick brought to screen a psychotic man armed with a hand gun avenging his family who suffered a wicked fate by the hands of senseless crime. In a time where violence and rape was rampant in New York City, “Death Wish” is still a surprising little thriller that not only puts on display the grim and grimy depths of the Big Apple in the seventies, but the descent in to sheer lunacy one mild mannered man takes when his wife and daughter are attacked and raped in their apartment. The thugs get away but protagonist Paul Kersey’s wife dies and he’s forced to bear witness to his daughter lose her sanity due to the severity of the attack she and her mother endured.