The Top Ten "Kick Ass" Moments

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Well, it’s coming, yet another superhero comic adaptation but thankfully this one is different. If you’ve never read it before, “Kick-Ass” is not so much about superheroes as it is about regular narcissistic everyday people putting on costumes and trying to fight crime and somehow finding themselves becoming real costumed superheroes when they just happen to crash in to a real life villain who wants them dead at all costs. There’s a violent karate fighting nine year old, a lot of really disgusting violence, and a storyline that is more realistic than most comic books tend to be. “Kick-Ass” does not stylize being a superhero. It’s rough to read.

Coming up on April 16th is the big screen version with an interesting cast who are threatening to take the box-office by storm and if you’ve ever seen the appealing trailers, you’ll know that we’re in for something quite spectacular. After reading the comic series a while ago, I thought it’d be good to pinpoint the top ten moments in “Kick-Ass” that particularly disturbed or excited us. Believe it or not, “Kick-Ass” is quite a good comic with a creator who managed to make history in comics by creating “Wanted,” another very violent comic turned in to a hit movie starring Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman. “Kick-Ass” is a bit more conventional, but damn it looks quite good in spite of Millar’s apparent homophobia and penchant for racial stereotyping. So without further ado…

Warning, since the comic is somewhat similar to the movie, there will be potential spoilers.

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School Gyrls (2010)

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I swear the first person who asks me “Why did you even watch it?” gets a smack across the face “Melrose Place” style. I don’t know why I am prone to giving movies that assure me will be awful a chance. I’m just a sucker like that. Maybe it’s the hot girls, or maybe it’s the short running time, but I sat there and watched it and laughed at the appearances by the hip hop stars like Justin Beiber and Soulja Boy, people who supply cameos and are bound to be forgotten within the next two years. Attempting to be “Bring It On,” “Mean Girls,” and “Grease,” this Nick Cannon endorsed pop musical teen drama (that’s an exhausting description) watches like a parody that’s meant to do nothing more than market on the gullibility of its tween audience who want to see three annoying girls who we’re told are outcasts (since when are attractive fit girls outcasts?) overcome the odds by–dancing and singing!

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The Inimitable Ellen Page

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Celebrities-ellen-page-4-10When we first see Hayley, she is not what we’re expecting her to be. For Jeff, he’s met and seduced a young girl online and when we first see Hayley she might very well be between eleven or twelve. She’s a chocoholic and pretends to be sophisticated in spite of the fact that deep down she’s kind of a bubble head. She’s sort of annoying, and she’s dressed like she’s just waiting to be dragged in to an alleyway and murdered by a wolf crossing her path. She could be taken down at any moment. For audiences around the world, it was most jarring to see a preteen portraying a juvenile who was on the verge of being victimized by an older man. Hayley says she’s fourteen but she may very well be much younger. She has short hair, and red lips, and talks with a bit of an accent giving away too much information about her secret life, and for Jeff it’s all a cakewalk.

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My Name Is Bruce (2007)

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0000214850In the climax of this horror comedy Bruce Campbell who is playing Bruce Campbell is staring down two executives after the screening of his latest horror film and proclaims “The Fans Deserve Better.” I honestly don’t think he believes that anymore. Because for what I’ve seen over the last few years, Campbell is very aware that he is now riding on his cult reputation more than anything and is strictly winging it in terms of entertainment and original horror films. Campbell who has become somewhat of an icon over the decades by making bad movies and appearing in conventions eventually became a joke. Then there’s this 2007 monstrosity that further emphasizes Campbell the joke while also acting as an obvious vanity project that pretends to be for the fans but really feels like it’s for Bruce.

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Lunch Break (2005)

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lunchbreakRe-watching “Lunch Break” reminded me what a joy it was to watch the first time, experiencing a short mock documentary centered around the working class and their reliance on big corporations to get by and support their family. John W. McKelvey’s short film is about something, and in the midst of a really bad repression where everyone is losing their jobs and working for basically nothing, “Lunch Break” holds a deeper social relevance now than it did five years ago. People are at a point where they’re sacrificing everything from their personal happiness to their dreams just to get a paycheck and survive another day, and “Lunch Break” has a resonance to it that reaches toward the audience or anyone who has ever been in a rut at a dead end job.

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Turkish Superman/Supermen Donuyor (1979)

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I make no allusions about my passion for Superman. I love the character, I’ve followed him since I was five, and I’ve seen everything I could get my hands on involving him. I even brag to people about it and gladly welcome their mocking. Most recently I was able to grab a copy of “Turkish Superman” a cult classic that has managed to remain an underground joke among movie collectors for decades since its release. A cinematic embarrassment up and down, it’s tough to really hate this when you consider all the quirks behind the production.

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Black Coffee (2009)

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Tran Quoc Bao is a very talented filmmaker who I first was introduced to with his short “Bookie” which was a pretty good neo-noir crime thriller. The only reservation I had with this is that Bao has potential to stage a truly exciting feature length thriller here and whether it’s about the budget or the capabilities to do so, I would love to see this eventually made in to a full length mystery that could fully realize the talents of the entire production crew. “Black Coffee” is a film that aspires to take a page from the Hitchcock book of filmmaking.

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