Fantastic Four (2005)

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In spite of what many, many others think, I kind of like the original “Fantastic Four” directed by Roger Corman. It’s pretty damn bad, but for entertainment value, it’s so bad it’s good. Well, this new adaptation is basically in the same boat. It’s so poor quality it works only as a guilty pleasure. Word to wise, some times some comic book series shouldn’t be made in to movies, because it will be lost in the translation. Example one. Face it, while “Fantastic Four” was good on the page, you have to take in to consideration that film is extremely literal. And sometimes this type of material just shouldn’t be put to the page. What I found pretty humorous was that during the release, the producers made is perfectly clear, “This is not The Incredibles” over and over to crowds comparing the two.

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Masters of Horror: Chocolate

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This latest episode is not so much scary and frightening as it is often amusing and fascinating. For this week’s episode, director, writer, and creator Mick Garris brings to life one of his own stories. I was often thinking back to “Twilight Zone” for this installment as it deals with unknown identities and sudden powers that arise from circumstances. As little expectations I had for “Chocolate” it ends up as a very solid episode. Henry Thomas is very much in the vein of Norman Bates here as a prudish young man named Jamie who works as a scientist synthesizing smells and tastes for products. One night after a vivid dream he awakes with the strong taste of chocolate in his mouth and begins to wonder if the dream was an actual figment of his imagination.

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Sideways (2004)

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sideways_02There are very few films in this day and age that both harkens back to the tradition of “Five Easy Pieces” exploring characters with no real future or anything to look forward to, and searching for one, while exploring the incredulously distressing and often futile machinations in the artistic experience of an author. What “Sideways” truly grabbed me with, was the glimpse at a man, with no true distinguishable personality traits who struggles and toils away to get published with little to no success. He’s a man who wants big things but is basically brought down by his own insecurities–and freakishly large novel.

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National Treasure (2004)

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national-treasureColossal best-seller (and I can say colossal when it’s number one for nearly two-hundred weeks) “The Davinci Code” is going to experience the “adapted to the big screen” treatment in a little under a year, and the much anticipated adaptation has drawn much expectations from its hardcore following. But leave it to Disney to rip from its innards and offer up their own generic carbon copy. One major vitriol I had from the release that many critics haven’t exactly touched on was that “National Treasure” is an antecedent as a concept. Never have I seen such a blatant, and shameless rip-off of “The Davinci Code” before, but this is Disney for you. Rather then licking their wounds, they invented an American version of the same story.

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Out of Time (2003)

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Though much of the film relies on lapses in logic and sequences that are just utterly hard to swallow, the performances are what sell this in the end. Mendes gives a pretty good performance as the ex-wife of Washington’s character who becomes a sort of antagonist, and makes things very difficult, while Sanaa Lathan and Dean Cain are very menacing. John Billingsley is tolerable as the obligatory comic relief, and Washington delivers a very good performance as Lee. Though much of the scenes rely on plot devices, Washington convinces us of the tension with his panicky performance.

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Vampires: The Turning (2005)

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vampires-the-turning-475-16x9-largeTrilogies are perhaps the most unusual presence in filmmaking because there’s rarely ever a chance that all three films within the triangle will be good. Take for example the “Vampires” trilogy which I can imagine that the producers asked to add the moniker of “Vampires” to the film to make it a trilogy. But in any case it’s a trilogy and a sad one at that. “The Turning” ends up becoming more stupid than actually awful, and I’ve always thought series were supposed to lengthen the story, and not shy away from it. “Vampires” originally made by Carpenter was a very strong vampire film, then there was “Los Muertos” which was a really bad (A vampire munching on a man’s genitals? Please) but enjoyable bit of vampire fodder, and then there’s… this.

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Down (The Shaft) (2001)

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shafThere’s nothing like a tale about a man-made machine turning against man that made it and becoming more superior and turning against man. It’s another “Frankenstein” allegory, that continues on and on with this preposterous and utterly illogical thriller called “The Shaft”. With a mixture of “The Mangler” and “Ghost in the Machine'”, there’s the psychotic elevator which takes on a mind of its own. With a good director, this would have been a murky, grim, and often frightening tale that touched on claustrophobia, agoraphobia, acrophobia, and taphephobia, but that’s not what’s given to the audience. Imagine the frights here along the line of Disney’s “Tower of Terror”, because that’s as scary as this ridiculous movie ever really gets. The mood is surprisingly light and airy, and ends up feeling more like an eighties B movie than something that actually intends on telling a story.

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