How many slashers movies have there been in the last few years that were worth a damn? Beyond “Leslie Vernon,” I can’t think of a single great slasher film that has made this slasher freak drool with sheer glee. “Hatchet” comes close to inspiring some foaming at the mouth, and I’m glad. As a horror nut that basically scours horror sites far and wide, I’ve heard about “Hatchet” almost non-stop. And thankfully, it’s lived up to its hype somewhat. “Hatchet” is a slasher comedy that really does admirably aspire to become a classic, and it succeeds in garner the horror comedy status from minute one. Not only is it a damn good and gory little slasher flick with a mean bastard of an axe killer, but it’s also pretty sharp and funny.
Idiocracy (2006)
“And the number one movie in the country was called “Ass.” And that’s all it was for ninety minutes. And it won Oscars…”
Our current society needs to be spoofed. In our current state it should analyzed, satirized, and cast into the darkness, because you’re all idiots, and you need to know that. You’re reality show watching, God fearing, literacy phobic, sadistic, consuming, ignorant drones, and someone needs to fill you in on that. “Idiocracy” is a step in the right direction as it’s a merciless satire on our society which is, by the way, currently run by pure idiots. It’s not surprising that “Idiocracy” wasn’t a hit because, risking repetition, movie goers are idiots as stated above, but it’s thankfully been praised among the movie geeks as a bonafide cult classic, a term that Mike Judge has become synonymous with.
A Portrait of Envy (2007)
Love, especially unrequited and unspoken love makes us do some rather perverse things. Sometimes it will bring about a dark side within us and force us to confront it without our knowledge, and leave us oblivious to all logic and reason. Thus is the hook of Garcia’s utterly morbid and unsettling short drama. Very much in the vein of “The Weight of Water,” Gillian is a humble and rather meek woman who suddenly finds her soul mate one day at work. Rather unassuming at first, she sparks a conversation with her co-worker Jerry, and the two engage in a conversation about art that instantly brings her to the brink of sheer euphoric bliss which is crushed under the weight of Jerry’s confession that he has a girlfriend he’s about to marry.
A Christmas Carol (1951): Ultimate Collector’s Edition (DVD)
It’s surprising that after all these years, after fifty five years of technology and CGI, and stylish directors bringing up this old story, that the 1951 version of “A Christmas Carol” is still the best. Why? Well, there are so many reasons. For one thing “A Christmas Carol” is filled with dread and utter morbid reveling, as it is intent on exploring the world of Ebenezer Scrooge and the punishment he’s earned for himself. Secondly, the hauntings by his old business partner are still rather chilling, including his utterly horrible howling at Scrooge’s defiance. Brian Desmond Hurst unravels a creepy and woefully dreadful vision of “A Christmas Carol” as he films most of Scrooge’s house in stark blacks while relying on factory devices of sound and mind games.
Rob Zombie's Halloween (2007)
“Halloween” will be and must be compared to the original, because it’s a pale imitation, it’s a botched job on every meaning of the word. At the end of the day, while “Halloween” is still one of my all time favorite horror films, “Black Christmas” is by far the better and creepier picture. But the remakes are basically the same. They’re just so bad they’re embarrassing and Zombie fails to inspire an influence and creates what can simply be known as “The Devil’s Rejects: Haddonfield.” Zombie continues with his demonizing of the poor and lower class, while also treading over the same crap we were given in “The Devil’s Rejects.” Is this better than “Halloween: Resurrection”? Sure, but so is smashing your head into a wall.
The Bourne Ultimatum (2007)
So it’s come to this. After all these years following Bourne, after “The Bourne Identity” becoming one of my favorite action films of all time, we’re here at the tail end, and hopefully the last film of the franchise. And with it comes Joan Allen, David Strathairn and Paddy Considine; how can you beat a cast like this? You can’t. “The Bourne Ultimatum” is yet another fantastic entry into the series, and shocking enough: It breaks the rule that the third parts in franchises are terrible. “The Bourne Ultimatum” brings what the former films did.
A Hard Day's Night (1964)
The Beatles are now and have always been four men who carried with them a presence that is hard to pin down or describe. Something about these fab four, these mop tops always inspired an attraction from music lovers and fans around the world. It doesn’t matter what they did or do, people responded and they came in droves to watch the four do what they did best. The transition to film is rarely a successful venture for a musical star. Many times you’ll see a singer anxiously trying to act and failing or just pretty much supplying a string of mediocre performances. “A Hard Day’s Night” makes no bones about itself. It’s a vehicle, a promotional tool, and of course a way for fans to see the Beatles without going to a concert.