Oh no! A woman! She has no testicles! She’s going to PMS all over us! What a wacky new dynamic in the Expendables! What’s up for part three? A dog? Kids? I wish “The Expendables 2” was a great follow up to the fun original film, but sadly it isn’t. It has this idea that including a woman in the group will somehow stir things and create tension, but it feels hackneyed and ancient. Plus, with a female version of “The Expendables” waiting in the wings, this plot device feels forced and trite. It also sadly feels like a way to derail a lot of the homoerotic tension between Jason Statham and Sly Stallone’s characters, and that’s a shame. Their bromance makes for some good dialogue and interplay, and to wedge a woman in between them feels like over compensation of the worst form.
Tag Archives: Action
Django Unchained (2012)
In the tradition of “The Legend of Nigger Charley,” and “Boss Nigger,” director Quentin Tarantino tips his hat to the exploitation cinema of the seventies with his own epic tale of slavery, freedom, and avenging those that have been unjustly murdered. Quite possibly Tarantino’s boldest and most courageous cinematic undergoing, “Django Unchained” is yet again another wonderful love letter to classic exploitation cinema, and one that Tarantino revels in soaking with adoration, providing viewers with one of the few African American western heroes with a back story that taps in to the tropes of the hero’s journey. While many did decry “Django Unchained” as exploitative and hyper violent, Tarantino definitely has his finger on the pulse and knows full well what immortalized the classic blaxploitation westerns. They thrived on hyper violence and slavery revenge fantasies and Tarantino holds nothing back with a relentlessly violent and entertaining love letter to his favorite sub-genre.
Resident Evil: Retribution (2012)
The first mistake “Retribution” makes is that it assumes people actually care about the story. Not to make an assumption so early, but “Retribution” has a story that’s very paper thin and used as a guideline for stunts and featuring Jovovich naked. What story there is makes no sense and is convoluted as hell. Assuming the audience cares, “Retribution” plays catch up for the audience in the first five minutes with a look back at the first four movies almost as if this is a some exciting epic we just have to catch up with. If you are watching the fifth part of a movie without having seen the first four, why are you wasting your time? And if you’ve seen the first four and are intent on watching this new entry, when did you decide good movies were no longer worth your time?
Robo Formers: Star of Fear (VHS)
Back in the nineties, I spent many a day trying to build up my own movie collection, and for poor folk, that’s tough. Imagine my surprise when after receiving my allowance I retreated to the local dollar store and saw some VHS movies for me to purchase with my own money. Granted, they weren’t blockbuster films, but they were public domain cartoons, and some pretty interesting gems that only bargain hunters discovered.
Dredd (2012)
What’s sad about director Peter Travis and writer Alex Garland’s “Dredd” is that it’s the comic book movie of the character Judge Dredd, that fans probably deserve. And they may not get a sequel at all, since its release in 2012 did little to stir the franchise potential of it all. The ingredients are all here for “Dredd” to kick off a wonderful series. There are a people behind the movie who take the material seriously, there’s zero camp, star Karl Urban plays Judge Dredd as an anti-hero and not like a clown, there’s no comic relief, and Judge Dredd never once takes his helmet off during the movie. To compensate for his lack of face time, Urban scowls and emotes more zealously than his prior roles for Dredd, and it pays off without an inch of over the top dialogue delivery to be found.
Our Top Ten Tarantino Characters
Above all else, director Quentin Tarantino has a talent for creating some of the most memorable film characters of all time. Ever since his debut with “Reservoir Dogs,” he’s shown that he can take much of his favorite influences and transform them in to appealing and charismatic characters with great back stories that you can quote until the cows come home. Whether you think of him as a hack or a true artist, Quentin Tarantino is one of the rare filmmakers who can build his characters as pastiches of his favorite pop culture influences and still be able to come out fresh as a daisy. While most of his characters are all derived from some source, Tarantino’s charismatic writing, sharp one-liners, and flashy personalities for each persona grants even the weakest character in the Tarantinoverse some sense of staying power in the collective memories of fans and movie viewers alike. Whether it’s the Bear Jew, Vinnie Vega, or English Bob, you know when it’s a Tarantino character. And you love them, even when you hate them.
In celebration of Tarantino’s newest, and very explosive film entitled “Django Unchained,” we present our Top 10 Tarantino Characters of all time. So far.
Cinema Crazed's Worst 10 of 2012…
2012 was filled with so many surprises, and it’s a year we may be talking about for a while. The big screen adaptation of “21 Jump Street” we were convinced would be pure swill ended up being the funniest comedy in the last few years. Ridley Scott’s return to science fiction “Prometheus” which we were sure would be an epic masterpiece ended up being sub-par genre fare that didn’t exactly re-invent the wheel in spite of causing a rift between genre fans who either loved it or hated it. However, the comedy movie about a foul mouthed talking teddy bear pretty much met our rock bottom expectations. Disney and Marvel Studios took a gamble on a movie that assembled a group of superheroes from film franchises of varying success entrusting the task to a director and storyteller primarily beloved by cult fans, and ended up conquering the box-office, and the world.
Disney’s gamble on another fantasy film entitled “John Carter” also made history as one of the biggest flops in movie history. A movie based on a board game was crucified by movie fans all over the world, while the director of “The Avengers” made waves with his cult horror comedy “The Cabin in the Woods.” Quentin Tarantino introduced one of the rare African American Western heroes to mainstream cinema, and The Dark Knight made his return to the screen unfortunately being forever linked to a horrific killing spree inflicted by a heartless monster, prompting Hollywood to re-think their stance on film violence causing an uproar among movie buffs. 2012 was a rather eventful year in the world of cinema and storytelling, and without further ado we introduce our Top 10 and Worst 10 Films of 2012.
As with every year we have some new categories, and we hope we inspire such rage in you that you’re able to find it in your heart to leave a vicious anonymous passive aggressive comment on Rotten Tomatoes for one of our reviews. That’s all we ask. Or if you’re feeling conversational, send us your own Top 10 and Worst 10 of 2012! We can likely begin a conversation that’s human and polite.