The first mistake “Retribution” makes is that it assumes people actually care about the story. Not to make an assumption so early, but “Retribution” has a story that’s very paper thin and used as a guideline for stunts and featuring Jovovich naked. What story there is makes no sense and is convoluted as hell. Assuming the audience cares, “Retribution” plays catch up for the audience in the first five minutes with a look back at the first four movies almost as if this is a some exciting epic we just have to catch up with. If you are watching the fifth part of a movie without having seen the first four, why are you wasting your time? And if you’ve seen the first four and are intent on watching this new entry, when did you decide good movies were no longer worth your time?
Tag Archives: Adaptation
Robo Formers: Star of Fear (VHS)
Back in the nineties, I spent many a day trying to build up my own movie collection, and for poor folk, that’s tough. Imagine my surprise when after receiving my allowance I retreated to the local dollar store and saw some VHS movies for me to purchase with my own money. Granted, they weren’t blockbuster films, but they were public domain cartoons, and some pretty interesting gems that only bargain hunters discovered.
Dredd (2012)
What’s sad about director Peter Travis and writer Alex Garland’s “Dredd” is that it’s the comic book movie of the character Judge Dredd, that fans probably deserve. And they may not get a sequel at all, since its release in 2012 did little to stir the franchise potential of it all. The ingredients are all here for “Dredd” to kick off a wonderful series. There are a people behind the movie who take the material seriously, there’s zero camp, star Karl Urban plays Judge Dredd as an anti-hero and not like a clown, there’s no comic relief, and Judge Dredd never once takes his helmet off during the movie. To compensate for his lack of face time, Urban scowls and emotes more zealously than his prior roles for Dredd, and it pays off without an inch of over the top dialogue delivery to be found.
Rise of the Guardians (2012)
Such a simple premise should have delivered a bland and somewhat forgettable animated film, but what Dreamworks manages to pull together is not only impressive, but surely one of the best films of 2012. “Rise of the Guardians” is a testament to the magic of folklore and the strength of belief. Though it’s not an outright declaration of theism, “Rise of the Guardians” places a lot of power on the strength of belief on sentient beings and what they can do for those that place importance in them. “Rise of the Guardians” is a film that all audiences will truly enjoy that manages to unite some of the most iconic magical beings to form the ultimate super team.
March of the Wooden Soldiers/Babes in Toyland (1934)
Here in New York City, there’s been a tradition for almost thirty years that the local television station channel 11 also known as WPIX airs a yearly broadcast of Laurel and Hardy’s “March of the Wooden Soldiers.” Though it’s mostly known as “Babes in Toyland,” ever since I was a young child, I’ve identified it by “March of the Wooden Soldiers.” For some odd reason it’s just been a tradition to view it every year on Thanksgiving, and it just seems to pair up with the holiday season so well. There are appearances from every fairy tale character imaginable from the three little pigs, to the three blind mice, along with an appearance from Mickey Mouse, The incomparable duo of Dum and Dee even work at Santa’s shop creating toys for him for the Christmas rush.
Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)
If this sequel had any balls, they’d take the reins of Johnny Blaze and hand the character over to someone talented like Idris Elba. At least then there’d be an interesting angle to this wretched sequel to a painfully mediocre movie that barely anyone remembers. Nicolas Cage once again proves he has no business being in film, reclaiming the role of Johnny Blaze, the balding mid-fifties biker who was cursed as Ghost Rider after making a deal with the devil. In case you didn’t know that, there’s five minutes of bad exposition along with Cage narration explaining the entire mythology of the Rider and what he does in particular, cue terrible animation. Most of the time during the opening animation, Cage sounds like even he doesn’t take this garbage seriously, and spend most of it making light of what is supposed to be a terrifying and mystifying character in the comic book universe.
Pac-Man: The Movie (2012)
It’s rare that fan films can present a premise for a simple concept that can be stretched in to a feature length film. It’s also rare that a fan film that can pay tribute to a beloved icon while also adding a creative twist to it that gives it a special flair that fans would love. “Pac-Man: The Movie” by James Farr changes the concept of Pac-Man while also adding a new flavor to it that works wonders. Pac-Man is, of course, the iconic video game from the eighties about a yellow disc eating pegs and avoiding various colored ghosts. What director Farr and Steelhouse Digital do is add a science fiction twist to it that’s not only incredibly entertaining but pretty damn brilliant.