Only Yesterday (Omohide Poroporo) (1991)

Posted on January 29, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

Based on the novel of the same name, “Only Yesterday” directed by Isao Takahata is considered a rare drama in the US only because it’s not really available on DVD yet. Thankfully, I was able to view it with subtitles, and uncut, but who knows what the hell Disney will do with it once they decide to release it on DVD. I gather for them, with conservative values, some scenes may not be deemed suitable in spite of the fact that Takahata’s adaptation so effortlessly and fearlessly tackles childhood trauma. What “Only Yesterday” really explores is cherishing life, and our lasting remnants of being a child.

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Brokeback Mountain (2005)

Posted on January 21, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

Want to know something utterly shocking? When I finished “Brokeback Mountain”–I wasn’t gay. I know, you’re gasping and holding your breath, but I’m being honest. When I finished this homosexual love story, I wasn’t gay. I’m a heterosexual of young age, with an untarnished record, and yet, when I finished the movie I didn’t find the gay lifestyle appealing to my own tastes, and I was still sexually aroused by good looking women. Yes, you misanthropic, religiously fanatical, homophobic morons, watching a movie with gay people about the gay lifestyle won’t turn you gay. Can you believe that? And if you do, then perhaps your sexuality is already in doubt, but to those open-minded few who watched the film in spite of the themes and or because of its themes, then congratulations, you’re proof that humans are still evolving.

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Serenity (2005)

Posted on January 5, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

Brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, I am here to preach the gospel, the gospel of “Firefly”, can I get an amen?! Like you I was once lost and now I was found by Joss Whedon’s amazing and brutally bastardized television series “Firefly” which was taken much too soon before its prime, can I get an amen?! Much like you, I was turned on to the “Firefly” series by word of mouth. A friend told a friend who told me, and I gazed upon the glory that is “Firefly” and I am now a brown coat, one of legions of fans, can I get an amen?! I then spread the word and made it my mission to do so! What, you dare doubt the power of “Firefly”?! Well, I cast you in to the damnation of “Harry Potter” fandom you heathen, and I tell you, that “Firefly” is the beginning, the middle, and the end of what a masterpiece is and should be! Can I get a fucking amen?!

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D.E.B.S. (2004)

Posted on January 1, 2006 by Felix Vasquez

I wasn’t expecting a masterpiece with “DEBS”, and when I was done, I received just what I was expecting. I’ve seen material that have spoofed the spy genre with women from “Charlie’s Angels” and “She-Spies”, and “DEBS” doesn’t stand out among the others. In spite of its homosexual twist, it’s still the same old trash we’re exposed to that attempts to be clever and tongue-in-cheek, when really it’s basically just tired and yawn-inducing.

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Son of the Mask (2005)

Posted on December 26, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

I kind of liked “The Mask”. I mean granted, it’s weak, but it’s fun, and for some odd reason we have the sequel and we’re forced to lay our eyes on: “Son of the Mask” based on the compiled works of Arthur Miller–just kidding. Yeah, you can pretty much guess where this lame-brained sequel is going, but I’ll spell it out for you because this plot is extremely esoteric. Yeah, I’m laughing too. Hey, I’m a big movie snob, and I admit it, but this goes beyond snobbery, this film (I use the term loosely) speaks to your common sense.

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Cold Mountain (2003)

Posted on December 18, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

“Cold Mountain” wants to be grand. Oh how Minghella wants it to be a grandiose civil war epic, this generation’s “Gone with the Wind”, but sadly, it will never reach those heights, and throughout the running time it never reached those heights because it is such a short-sighted piece of filmmaking, it could never reach the possible limits that Minghella wanted it to. After viewing this, it was plainly obvious this was so utterly manufactured for Oscar, it was nauseating. But “Cold Mountain” is not underwhelming because of that fact, it’s underwhelming simply because it’s so utterly short-sighted in its stories and characters.

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Pooh's Heffalump Movie (2005)

Posted on December 17, 2005 by Felix Vasquez

I find it’s very hard to display any sense of malice or distaste for something like “Pooh’s Heffalump Movie” which is so harmless and adorable in its presentation with simple animation and such an uncomplicated story. It’s the closest thing to quality for me that Disney’s created in years. Disney’s creativity and imagination has all but diminished over the years, except for when it applied to “Winnie the Pooh” and its many spin-offs. Though Christopher Robin is all but MIA in this film (appearing in the credits briefly), “Pooh’s Heffalump Movie” is still a very entertaining and guilt-free story about friendship that often echoes “The Fox and the Hound” except less heartbreaking.

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