Total Recall (2012)

Posted on February 12, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Colin Farrell is back again as an odd choice for action hero playing “Average Joe” Douglas Quaid. He is a factory worker who helps produce police bots for his world that has been divided in to two separate factions. The remaining world that has survived chemical war fare are living on various levels, all controlled by the government. Douglas’ world remains a stink hole lower class existence until he arrives at Rekall, anxious to install artificial memories in to his brain for the sake of amusement. Upon implanting a fantasy in his mind, Quaid learns he is really a super spy, and now Chancellor Cohaagen who is slowly rising to power, is after him. Along with him and his army of robotic police, there’s Doug’s smoking hot wife Lori, who is revealed to be a skilled assassin who is driven to kill Douglas at all costs.

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Total Recall (1990)

Posted on February 12, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Sure “Total Recall” is an ultraviolent and action filled adaptation of the original “We Can Remember It for You Wholesale” from Phillip K. Dick, there’s a rhyme and reason for everything that unfolds in the film, right down to the prostitute with the trio of breasts. The inherent lunacy reflects the mind set of our main hero Douglas Quaid and acts as a platform for the idea that perhaps he’s living a fantasy or is really this vicious secret spy. Paul Verhoeven’s version of the original story packs a real sense of intellect and brilliant ambiguity beneath the seemingly surface science fiction action tale of a man named Quaid, who is struggling to battle the government and fight for a group of underground mutants. When we meet Quaid he’s a man who is comfortable at home living in a well furnished apartment and is married to an insanely sexy woman. He wants more though, especially with developments involving the government exploring Mars, and perhaps using it as a means of travel for local tourists.

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Galaxis (1995)

Posted on February 8, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

I consider Brigitte Nielsen to be one of the sexiest women to ever grace the big screen in the eighties. She’s a bomb shell and in her heyday was a pure sexual force that I worshiped in films like “Red Sonja.” I won’t argue that her skills as an actress, but at her prime she was insanely sexy. So with that said, I can’t stress how boring a film has to be for me to doze off during a movie starring Nielsen. “Galaxis” is a bland and soulless science fiction epic that garners all of the tropes of the genre that were tired by the early nineties and are even more worn by 1995. I’m frankly shocked there wasn’t an opening scroll setting the stage for the film like “Star Wars,” but writer Nick Davis thankfully dodges that stale gimmick and jumps right in to a massive conflict we can’t enjoy because it’s not the central focus of the movie.

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Superhero Movie (2008)

Posted on February 8, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

“Superhero Movie” is a comedy that’s remained off the radar for a long time since its release, and that’s a good thing. As a comedy it’s a pretty solid spoof of the “Spider-Man” movies, mocking the inherent silliness and idiocy of the Sam Raimi movies. And ironically enough it manages to be a much more creative and coherent superhero picture than “Spider-Man 3” ever hoped to be. I don’t disagree that the movie is a mixed bag of humor that tackles the superhero movie craze, as well as old hat superhero tropes, but it’s succeeds as an entertaining novelty and a respectable guilty pleasure.

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Josh Kirby… Time Warrior: Chapter 1, Planet of the Dino-Knights (1995)

Posted on February 5, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

Watching “Josh Kirby” is like watching a lost series from the Action Pack stunt from television in 1995, where you almost expect it to air alongside “Hercules.” in truth, the series of six films unfolds like one short kids television adventure series, and even for a movie aimed at kids, it’s hard to catch up. There’s so much about this universe, that the movie opens with a five minute montage of scenes from the movie that’s somehow meant to keep us up to speed with what we haven’t seen yet. Really, it feels like filler and an odd place to place such a device when it’d be suited more appropriately for the second part of the film series.

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Teen Witch (1989)

Posted on February 1, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

“Teen Witch” is one of the last relics of the eighties that isn’t just a fantasy for teen girls based around the joy of superficiality and empty popularity, but something of a cheesy comedy that absolutely embraces its idiocy time and time again. The unapologetic cheesiness and truly awful values of “Teen Witch” is often so bad, and yet so damn charming to endure. You almost have to admire it for building up to an anti-climax that boasts about how great it is to have the guy of your dreams, even if he’s as deep as a Koi pond. Dorian Walker’s film also dares to embrace the hip hop genre with a trio of young white men from the suburbs. Thank goodness for Larry Weir.

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The Revenant (2015)

Posted on January 29, 2016 by Felix Vasquez

With “The Revenant,” Alejandro González Iñárritu pulls off a wonderful vision with amazing cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki, posing the wilderness of South Dakota as something of an omnipresent force that works against every single character from the moment we step on to the snow covered woodlands. “The Revenant” works around a simple tale of revenge and enduring the elements all to convey the sheer unforgiving world that protagonist Hugh Glass has to venture across simply to avenge his own son. The weather and terrain holds no prisoners and garners zero bias, enduring the war of man and being covered in the blood of the violated while offering as much punishment as it’s dealt. Director Iñárritu’s “The Revenant” is a grueling epic that views what lengths main character Hugh Glass is willing to go through to ensure justice is served.

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