Rio (2011)

Rio-2011It would seem only fitting that Jessie Eisenberg would play one of the most neurotic yet charming characters of the year, as “Rio” is exactly up his alley as a character mold he’s most accustomed to playing. Insecure and neurotic, Blu is a winged Woody Allen and Eisenberg is up for the challenge in what is basically another on the run animal romp that we saw last year with “Toy Story 3.” It won’t garner points in originality or depth, but for what it offers, it’s a cute and promising environmentally conscious romance comedy about Blu and his owner Linda, two love lorn and socially awkward individuals who found one another one fateful day after Blu was snatched from his home.

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Why We Like "Mean Girls"

Now compared to the likes of “Heathers” and “Clueless,” 2004’s “Mean Girls” is a rare teen comedy that manages to come shockingly close to the charm and humanity of a John Hughes film thanks to the sharp writing of Tina Fey who explores the battle of the sexes, the female dynamic and the struggle for superiority among the opposite sex with a mild box office hit that went on to live its remaining days as a classic among teenage audiences. Starring a slew of up and comers including Rachel McAdams, Amanda Seyfried, and Lizzy Caplan, and offering hilarious supporting performances from SNL stars, “Mean Girls” is a movie I didn’t love the first time out. But watching it a few years later I realized it’s a classic for a reason and is one of the few interesting teen comedies ever released. And we have Tina Fey to thank for that. She, of course, went on to write the underrated sitcom “30 Rock,” but here she taps in to the teenage persona and does it better than most writers today can ever hope to. Here’s why we like “Mean Girls” and why you should like it too…

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Wheels on Meals (Kuai can che) (1984)

Wheels-on-Meals-1984Almost thirty years later, Sammo Hung’s “Wheels on Meals” is still one of the technically proficient martial arts films ever made. It’s just too bad there’s not much to it beyond the martial arts. Primarily it works as a comedy of two men fallen for the same woman whose entire antics are steeped in silent comedy that doesn’t club us over the head with obvious gags. But “Wheels on Meals” is sadly lagging and long in the tooth as an action film that professes mid-way to be nothing more than a romance comedy with martial arts back drops that do nothing to enhance the overall narrative.

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Hop (2011)

hopUnpleasant, unfunny and uninspiring, “Hop” is so much more awful than I’d originally predicted primarily because it took my rock bottom expectations and dashed them by delivering an even worse movie than my optimism would have allowed. I had hopes for “Hop” originally, and I’d opted on giving it a fair shake, but found myself genuinely annoyed by every inch of this disingenuous holiday commercial that is about as much about the holiday as Garry Marshall’s “Valentine’s Day” was in 2010. “Hop” is such a corporate tool that it feels like upon its original conception it was marketed to Hallmark and American Greetings for the sole sake of EB.

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The Breakfast Club XXX (2009)

3cddrfQCurrently the two best porn spoof directors working today is Axel Braun, who is the Hitchcock of the finely timed comic jab set to the fuck fest, and of course Lee Roy Myers who not only directed some fine porn spoofs like “The Big Lebowski XXX,” but also managed to take one of the finest teen dramas of all time and turned it in to a damn fine porn spoof of its very own entitled “The Breakfast Club XXX.” Not only is this a film that ponders on the bigger questions behind the original 1980’s masterpiece, but also manages to delve in to the finer aspects of said questions. For example, what happened when Estevez saw the Goth chick now an average beauty queen? Why, he took her in to the back and fucked the ever loving god out of her, that’s what he did.

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Ninja Cheerleaders (2008)

ninja_cheerleadersYou know what? “Ninja Cheerleaders” is trash but it’s trash you can admire. It’s a mixture of “3 Ninjas” with some “Bikini Carwash” for good measure, a veritable knock off of TMNT where director David Presley replaces teenage ninja turtles for teenage ninja cheerleaders. Starring three gorgeous and often cute young women, “Ninja Cheerleaders” tries for nothing more than pushing the limit upon with our actresses are willing to go. So while there is innuendo, there’s never any sex, and the women here are never sure if they want to be feminist icons or trashy slutty molds for what the movie begs. The plot is nothing you haven’t seen a thousand times before.

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Scream 2 (1997)

With “Scream 2” you can pretty much sense Craven and writer Williamson struggling to create a sense of atmosphere that they did with the original. And the movie series that claims to dodge the slasher clichés while also mocking them, eventually became so clustered with attempts to bring audiences a new experience they pretty much relied on clichés and a formula they streamlined in the original. We have someone offed in the beginning, we introduce the old cast, we get to meet a new cast of characters, someone is killing the cast members, Sydney has to find out who or whom is doing the killings, a load of red herrings are thrown at the audience, there’s the obligatory thought that perhaps one of the original three cast members are behind it, and then there is the grand stand off in the climax where we’re given a bunch of “gotchas!” Officers and all authorities are also immensely useless.

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