LovecraCked! The Movie (2006)

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Elias goes for the good old trick of cinema. When all else fails, throw in a hot chick or two. And man, are there ever good looking women here. Gillian MacGregor is one who will burn herself into your brain in “Witch’s Spring” as a rather sexy witch seducing a man, and then there’s Nicky Ladanowski in “Bug boy” a fleeting and rather horrific little skit involving a man’s rage manifesting itself into a monster. Elias’ talent shows, and when he tackles the horror element, he really pulls through in a gritty disturbing manner. Take for the example the weird “RePenetrator” which is surprisingly funny and inappropriately erotic, in which the Dr. West re-animates a body so hot he has to engage in rough sex with it before it turns on him.

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Broken Flowers (2005)

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Never underestimate the power of karma. Don Johnston never will. Don has just broken up with his girlfriend, who urges him to get his life together and grow up. One day he receives an anonymous letter revealing to him that his son, who he’s never met, is looking for him. Jim Jarmusch’s tale of a lady killer who gets a jolt of reality facing his own mortality, is a clever and pretty interesting slice of life about a man whose life seems basically comfortable until he gets the announcement.

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Batman's Gonna Get Shot in the Face (2006)

bbbbCo-director Longstreth once told me that Batman is pretty preposterous because he just doesn’t see how a man in a suit can scare criminals and provide protection. Because while his suit protects him from bullets, if a criminal wanted to shoot him in the face, he’d be down for the count within an instant. Longstreth just isn’t that fond of Batman, and neither am I, and one of his newest films pretty much sums up what he feels about the character. “Batman’s Gonna Get Shot in the Face” is a spoofing of the character Batman, a brutally overrated superhero. Now, Longstreth and Jacob Drake are big fans of the comics as I am, and the character of Batman is thrashed back and forth in one of the funniest online cartoons I’ve ever seen.

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Zombie Island (2005)

ziDirector Bill Whirity’s “Zombie Island” is set in a reality, where a local town attracts tourists by inviting young hunting aficionados to a small little island off their coast. This particular tourist attraction happens to be an island filled with zombies. Three young guys looking for a good time beg to go on the island, and do so by a boater who hands them firearms and handheld weapons. At first, the tourist attraction seems more like a tourist trap, but as the zombies start popping up, the game no longer becomes fun.

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The Dukes of Hazzard (2005)

Dukes-of-HazzardWhat can you do to royally piss me off? Cast three of the stupidest most untalented people in Hollywood in a remake. Yes, that’s right earning of a smack across the face. Take a Jack ass who is a Jack ass, a one-hit wonder, and a singer whose talents are in her sweater, and you have “The Dukes of Hazzard,” a cleaned up, PC spoof of the actual show that preceded it, that can never tell whether its taking itself seriously, or as a general satire of hillbillies.

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Zombies By Design (2006)

The premise is actually quite clever. A ridiculous make over show, that gets its kicks and paycheck out of “re-animating” old homes enlists the help of a mad scientist they plan to put on television and rejuvenate his home. The problem is this mad scientist is indeed psychotic, and seven years before failed in a project that would create mechanic zombies for the military. Today the makeover show has signed onto re-do his house, but he has other plans for them. He wants to re-create his army come hell or high water.

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Sky High (2005)

tEHvtdGUKiWtELUNYF9aHJ1p6kTI’m a sucker for a good tale about superheroes and the learning of their abilities and so on. I admit that. I love a good superhero tale, and that’s why I didn’t completely dislike “Sky High,” because beneath its Disney muck, it’s actually a pretty fun tale about living up to your parents and the pressures of it. Michael Angarano is Will, the only son of a suburban couple who happen to be the world’s strongest superheroes. Ahem—they met during a battle and fell in love, and now are a team. “The Incredibles,” you say? Well, yes, but I just plain enjoyed Kurt Russell as a somewhat demented working class father who encourages his son to take up the family business. “Sky High” is busy, it’s colorful, and it will keep its target audience watching with a smile.

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